What is wrong with today's youth!?
I can’t keep quiet anymore. I have to let it out or I’ll explode:
My little cousin (who is 17) is staying with us for a week, which I’m sure is a very welcome escape for her from her single parent home life (that is strained enough as it is without having her father forcing a woman into her life that is bat-poo crazy!). We try to give her space to breathe and allow her to relax in the peace and quiet that is our home. Her mother passed away when she was 10 and ever since then her father has allowed all SORTS of bad behavior to flourish rather than properly punishing her. She’s conceited, manipulative, deceitful, and full of attitude.
Its only day two of her stay here and already she’s copping an attitude with me for getting on to her about leaving a trail of mess wherever she goes. Socks in the living room, 2 pairs of shoes in the dining room, sweaters strewn around the house, jewelry lying about, candy wrappers balled up and shoved between sofa cushions, and used facial tissues with makeup residue all over the floor in her bathroom. The other night she woke me up at 11:30 to fix her MacBook WiFi so she could get on facebook… Did I mention I had to get up that next morning at 5:00am?
When I try to correct her horrible behavior she turns into a banshee. Suddenly I’m the bad guy picking on the poor insecure little girl whose dad doesn’t pay enough attention to her. If I try to talk to her about her terrible grades she blows up and shuts down. God, I am so tired of playing nanny to a grown young woman! She’s alienated good friends because of her inability to think of anyone but herself. I just wish her dad would get a clue, see the signs that she’s crying out for help, and help her! Lord knows she needs it instead of a plethora of material goods to satisfy an insatiable thirst for popularity.
Uhg… What the heck happened to getting a spanking then making up and getting on with life?
I ask you:
-What the heck happened to getting your butt beat with a belt? I did and I turned out fine!
-What happened to boundaries? Kids walk all OVER their parents today!
-Enough with the “I want to be my child’s best friend” complex. What they need is a parent; they have enough friends.
im not like that and me mommie is my friend not a parent...
That is the prob, the great these kids, and let them do what they wont so they can do what they want to do, and we have more irrirsponsalbe young people now than ever before.I know I have grand children that are that way , I must say the 2 I live with arnt that bad..But so many are and this is our next generation of leaders , that cant even control their own lives..sad I hope Im out here by them, those that are controlling it now are bad enough.
Not EVERY teenager is like that. I'm not like that, my sister isn't like that, my friends aren't like that, and alot of other people I know aren't like that. It always seems like it's only the misbehaving sl*ts and b*tches that the adults think of when someone says "teenagers". Don't judge us. Good kids do exist in todays youth, you're just not seeing them.
I know a lot of teens and young adults think it's cool to act really tough and rude and disrespectful now. I used to be like that, but I've realized how stupid and utterly pointless it is. My parents didn't care if I got suspended from school for fighting or anything... But before anyone assumes anything, I was abused by them til I called the cops when I was 15. That only made me violent towards other people. Now that I live on my own, I'm a lot happier and I don't get into fights or arguements.
But yes, I think that today's youth is pretty destructive. I agree with Megan though, it's not every teenager, it's just the ones that are being influenced by the other baddies, if you catch my drift.
Oh before any teenagers get their panties in knots let me just clarify that even the "good" teenagers aren't as good as they think they are. I worked in a public high school and junior high in guidance and I can tell you, most of my "good kids," the ones with perfect grades that got into school activities and were so nice and perfect- those were the ones with the massive entitlement issues who thought they could get away with anything. They were pretty horrible. My bad kids who did horrible things were in so many ways more forgivable for their bad behavior.
In point of fact- the only kids who didn't seem to have entitlement issues or bad behavior were the naive kids who had no clue what was going on. The ones who were blissfully unaware of how the real world worked or how most people really thought or felt were the only ones that weren’t total brats. On the other hand though- you were scared to death of them going out in the real world because you just knew they would never be able to handle it.
Not all young people are like this.
I was raised by a father who let me have my freedom, well to a certain extent.And yes I am not perfect. I'm quite disorganized but I'm not a brat. I volunteer and get good grades and do my chores. I pay for my friends lunches when they can't afford food. If my dad needs help with what he does around the house, I'll help him. I'm not saying I'm a great person but I am not self-centered or irresponsible. Yes my room is a mess and some times I'm a jerk or insecure. But I think in most age groups you will find people who are mean or self centered and people who aren't.
I'm just slightly offended that based on your experience with your cousin that you draw the conclusion that most young people are like this. Or maybe you've met more young people like her. But I don't think it's fair to make such a generalization.I just think you're committing a fallacy in making that generalization.
I have friends that work so they can go to college or so they can have food for their family. Is that selfish or irresponsible?
Yes I know jerks my age that are self-centered but doesn't everyone?
But I don't think it's okay for your cousin to be acting that way. And I empathize and can see why you'd you'd be upset and blame it on the parenting or young people. I understand that. And I do agree that parents need to be parents first and not try to be liked by their child. I don't really know how you could deal with problem except by talking to the parent about their child's behavior. But giving a parent advise on how to raise their child could easily offend them too. So it's a tough situation.
I think the reason that parenting styles have really changed is because of the idea of humanism which is the idea that people should focus on a person's own potential and that people are fundamentally good. This idea still really influences how people treat their children.
Also the issue with physically punishing a child or just physical punishment in general, is that the only way punishment is actually effective in changing behavior is if it is swift and severe. The punishment has to happen right after the bad behavior occurred and it has to be extreme. Also I would argue that physical punishment if use correctly, only corrects short term behavior problems and not long term.
wow that was really long and rambly, I hope you understood.
I wish you good luck on your situation.
I hate people like that, I think it's disgusting and it gives the rest of us teens a bad name. I don't understand why some people think it's cool to have a cocky attitude and not look after themselves properly. They don't respect themselves or others.
What's wrong with the adults of today? This girl could have been a COMPLETLY DIFFERENT PERSON if it wasnt for her destructive and uncaring father. Try to show her a little sympathy! I know it's really hard to humble yourself to that point. It's almost painful to feel empathy towards someone who is disrespecting you. She's had no mother figure her entire life, or has possibly had a string of her father's deadbeat girlfriends to give her a role model. She is obviously emotionally damaged to the point where she needs to be hostile to others and refuse to show any respect because she's been hurt so badly by her dad's non-chalantness in raising her. He *should* have been there to ground her and tell her that it was wrong to get in fights at school and do drugs. How is she ever supposed to learn to love someone if her closest living relation shows absolutley no love to her? Please, show this girl some love. Show her some compassion. Do the best that you can to BE that role model she's needed her entire life. Talk to her, although it may be hard. Make a connection with her. If YOU can't do it, take her to a counselor who can.
I have 45 year old male friend who is currently around from the UK.
Last time he was here he ended up with a "teenager" in his take home luggage.
I hoped we would have seen some improvements in his behavior but the fact that I don't actually know what time his flight arrives tomorrow may send a message !
oh dear, its really their issue. She wants attention, and he doesn't know how to give it to her. He gives in when she has a hissy fit, and it just went out of controll from there.
I completely and 100 percent agree with you Doxie. and its not just teenagers. It is children of all ages. Because parents are not allowed to discipline their children the way they need to be, children and teens think they can get away with anything. It is soooo very frustrating. And all the teens who answered before me yes you are right not all teens are like that but there are enough of them that it gives the rest of you a bad name.
I think more often than not, it's a problem with the parent. When I was a little a-hole when I was a kid, my parents would punish me for it... Ground me, slap me (I deserved it, looking back)... etc. They were the old-fashioned kind of parents who weren't going to let any kid of theirs turn out to be a jerk.
Lock her in her room, disconnect her wifi, and let her scream it out until she gains some respect for others around her.
When I was a teenager, my bad attitude only showed at home and it eventually leveled out when I was put on hormone therapy to help balance my mood. I was the straight-A overachiever, and I only fought the bullies at school.
The best thing you can do aside from letting your cousin get over herself in an isolated room is to try to talk to her calmly... maybe talk to her and her dad together to try to straighten out her unacceptable behavior.
Not all teenagers are like that. When i was younger i was taught to have manners when in others company and home. I was not once hit with a belt. I believe in punishment not beatings. She is testing you, she's seeing how far she can get away with not listening. Stand your ground and she will come around. Don't forget to let her know that you do care about her but that she can't walk all over you.
yes, not all teenager are afraid of that, but I've met more recently my fair share of 'bad' parents.
Children act out to get attention. When attention is not received they act out because they know that they can get away with it... anger management will do well for many of these children, not because they're all angry, but it helps with channeling emotions.
I recently took my friends children to a McDonalds for the indoor playground, these children are 7. The boy has a slight autism and it's hard to keep his attention and when he beleives he is being hurt he will sit in a corner and scream until the pain or offender goes away.
I heard this while he was in my care. When I investigated other children around told me that this thirteen year old had shoved him in the corner of the ball pit and held him down under the balls... causing the freakout. Another parent stepped forward saying she had witnessed this and told him to bugger off.
I went and got management who fished the 13 year-old out of the playground and asked him questions, such as why he did it "cause the kid was in his way" and where his parents were "got nun".... his mother finally came forward and claimed him, blatently telling us that we were liars and that my child was a moron so he doesnt know what's really happening.
I was angry at the Mother for being so blaetently idiotic, but I could not do anyting but remove the two children under my care, because management couldn't really do anything but give a warning. I am scared sometimes that if people are that ignorant how are our future leaders going to be?
take it a day at a time, ask her to pick up after herself and put reminders, like a small trashcan near the couch, that will help her think on what she's doing.
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