What is wrong with today's youth!?
yes we understand that not all teenagers are like that. I wasnt and my parents never hit me. I was raised to respect other people. Most of the time it is the parents because a baby doesnt come into this world thinking Im not gonna listen to my parents. it is a learned behavior. But at the same time teenagers ere not babies or five year olds or even ten year olds. most teens want to be treated like adults and they are old enough to know whats right and wrong and to have respect. But a lot of teens that I have met dont have respect for anybody not even themselves and they will not be treated the way they want until they get some.
I know not all teenagers are like that, but the sad thing is most of them are. And the way kids are getting raised these days, most of them are going to be that way. I'm still a teenager(won't be in a couple months though) and my mom is a parent, but she's a friend too. She has the balance down perfectly I think. I only remember one little dinky fight with her and I got over it in a few hours. I really hope to be like her and actually parent my children while being a friend too. But it seems like most parents these days just want to be best friends with there kids and they feel bad when they punish them. It's retarded. You're a parent for a reason. Start acting like one.
Sorry if I'm getting a little ranty. The parenting issue really gets to me.
no, that sounds about right V.
I never had issues with my parents, they punished me, you get upset, you get over it.
its life, and you learn from it
but giving in to their demands and whims, is it really helping them in life?
I had a cousin who was giving everything when she had a fit, she is still living at home, with no job because she gets fired, no boyfriend because she chases them away with her cray cray demands, and she has dropped out of school a few times
i think that you shouldn't make such a statement yes there are afue teenagers who just need to get a grip but then you could say the same for some adults. 17 is a scary age your just about to become an adult. and you have to make decisions that will effect your whole life.
do something fun with her then have a talk about how she feels once you brake down the emtional bariers then you can sort out the tidying issuse
teens learn through rolmodles show her the kind of person she can be and she will change get angry at her and you will just push her away and she will get worse.
I know what you´re talking about I have a little cousin
She´s 6 years old
She´s not inocent at all she´s manipulative, cruel, selfish and a bully
I don´t get along with her cuz the way she is When I was a child I suffered from School bullying
She doesn´t respect anyone
Her grandmother is a cancer survivor and lost all her hair and my cousin makes fun of her and tells her that "her husband will leave cuz she´s now so ugly and repulsive" and other cruel things
She´s racist and always is unpolite towards black people
And steals things she likes
I don´t know where she had learnt that things cuz nobody in the family is like that
She is also cruel to animals when my cat was pregnan she was looking for her Ididn´t know why and when she found her she just kicked her
Before all teenagers are tarred with the same brush I just want to point out that when I was a teenager I wasn't perfect, but I was pretty good... I was always respectful of my parents, particularly my mum.
I'll admit I do tend to see more teenagers that don't seem respectful but TBH I think a fair contribution is from the media too, where so many teens are stabbing or shooting one another.
The problem with this is that all the good teens get buried in the bad attitude and behaviours of others. Since people tend to think the worst of teenagers I think that the good teenagers kind of get discriminated.
Here's an update. She had an alcohol party when her dad was out of state and broke into my grandmothers house several times over a week (at 1 or 2 in the morning scaring her half to death) to steal all her alcohol. She verbally abused my grandmother when she got scolded and also got an attitude with the cop who showed up to stop the party. She's lied to all the family, manipulated all of us, and doesn't understand why none of is want to talk to her anymore. My grandmother started putting chairs under all the door handles then had the locks on her doors. I want nothing more to do with her until she gets her lie straight...
Really, I think it is unfair to judge her on this. A lot of people that did not have proper parenting end out to be like this. People tend to act how they are raised to act, my mum raised me to act like a respectable young adult, she thought me to stand up for myself and what I believe in and I do, she treats me like an adult and in turn I would act like an adult. Obviously the girl living with you was not really raised at all. She had no role model and she got no attention. A lot of kinds act out simply because they find that it is an easy way to get attention, because they know they can get away with it, or because that is what is simply around them. Maybe it isn't in the family but it might be something on T.V. or what other kids at school are doing. If it bothers you so much that she has no respect for you then you need to give her respect. I, personally hate when adults look down on me and don't show me the respect that I feel I deserve just because I'm 14. If I feel that someone is respecting me, I will respect them. And nagging really doesn't help get anything done at all, when my mum nags at me that I need to do something or I need to clean that up, all it does it piss me off. The girl is insecure and has a pretty thick wall up around her, and she doesn't want you in. You have to find a way to get in and show her that you are there for her and that she doesn't need to act like that, for whatever reason. If you just block her out then there are going to be more people like her in your family once she starts reproducing. Totally just thought of this, did she act like that when she was younger and her mum was around? If so then she might be regressing back into what is comfortable for her and how she used to get a lot of attention when she was younger, or because she hasn't coped with her mum's death, the thing is she probably doesn't even realize it.
I think a lot of people are personalizing my rant with their own life and story. This isn't necessarily about all teens. This was more a question to my family (which is big) than the total public. The fact is that my uncle has been beat up (verbally) by women his whole life and now he lets his daughter do the same. She saw her mother do it when she was alive, and now she does it too. But that's not an excuse to say that she wasn't brought up well because she was! She always had 2 gramaws, one grampa, 2 aunts, 2 uncles, 5 female cousins, 2 pair of great aunts/uncles very near by to show her how to grow up properly. She had a whole mess of us teaching her right from wrong for the past 17 years so it's not that she doesnt know better (because that is a bunch of crap)
No, this all originated when she started spending time with her mother's mother who is an oil tycoon, steals from the family, wont speak to any one NOT wearing designer clothing or earning under $100,000 a year... So yes, two summers of that and she's a totally different person. This was her 12th and 13th year. We've been trying to wear the bad habits out of her but I fear she's absorbed too much hate and lies.
She has a textbook case of histrionic personality disorder which we're finding out about. Now if only we could find something to correct that >.>
I think not one of us can really understand how you feel. I do think its very hard for you and if you need to vent more, go ahead.
Oh god, I totally get what it is like to be around a histrionic.
Unfortunately the one thing about personality disorders is that there isn't really anything you can do about it. But you can take her to therapy, group therapy is NOT something to do, psychotherapy is usually what is suggested for a histrionic but it should be someone that they seem to get on with well, Because histrionics tend to be emotionally needy. Histrionics are also prone to suicide and self mutilation, so if she threatens to hurt herself the statement should bot be taken lightly at all.
I dunno if this has been said before...
Sit down with her and make some rules about how she treats you, picking up after herself, and what she's allowed to do/have. Include consequences for broken rules. (If she's supposed to have lights out at 10, she won't come bug you about her wifi since that would bust her about breaking the lights out rule.)
My mom used to give us the "opportunity" to clean up after ourselves every night. If she found something left out, it went in a box and we had to do an extra chore to get it back (awful when you want that specific sweater in the morning). Come Saturday morning, if there was still stuff in the box, we weren't allowed to do anything fun until it was all put away or thrown out.
Most kids just need fair rules and adults who stick by them. When I worked at Boys and Girls Club, all the new kids chafed under the rules for the first week or so. Once they learned that we were serious about enforcing the rules for everyone, they settled down and hardly ever broke the rules.
I think the reason people have taken it to heart (ISH) is because of the title of this thread. I get where you're at now, just ranting about this girl, but the title of the thread is fairly misleading and may suggest you are about to moan about all teenagers.
TBH teens are very different, most are difficult to deal with. It's not necessarily about how they are raised. My mum raised me and my older sister very well, but my sister went off the rails, met a guy who (used to) hit her, moved out at 16 and now has 4 kids with this bloke... amongst other things.
I think it's kinda a combination of a lot of things, yes parenting styles can have an effect, but it also has to do with their own personality as well as the kind of society they were brought up in. Kids (like my sister) can so easily end up mixing with the wrong sort of kids.
There's not much I can suggest, my sister is back to the lovely person she was before, I think a lot of it is that they will grow out of it but for know you'll just have to find ways of managing or at least minimising the effects of her behaviour. I don't have any tips for you there but others might have?!
Thanks Michelle G.
It turns out that my little cousin is now trying to sneak around into my gramaws medicine cabinet when she's on a "supervised visit" with her dad. My gramaw now has had locks puton her bedroom and bathroom door to keep my cousin out. We think she may be trying to take money from my gramaws purse (apparently she keeps large amounts of money in case of emergency, then again "large amounts" is a relative term so, meh...) or steal her pain killers. She's got some pretty hard core pain drugs for when her back acts up (She's broken her back 3 times and had 4 surgeries so when it acts up, it acts UP!) like darvocet and something else that's supposed to be stronger (good Lord! what's stronger than darvocet!?).
Anyway, it's to the point that My uncle's girlfriend is calling my mom to tell her what's happening to my uncle. She says he looks like a cancer patient. The stress has made him sickly, pale, circles under the eyes, and he's having chest pains. He's at risk for heart attack as heart disease runs in our family.
My cousin is literally killing her father bit by bit with all the hell she's raising and all she can do is demand things after lying to and stealing from the family (she's already taken heirloom jewelry from my grandmother that we'll never see again. I'm so mad I could break my foot off in her butt!!)
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