Cotton Candees

Happiness is defined by every person as something that they believe it is, whether it is love, money, or success... That is the general idea, right? That you can't be happy unless you "have" something that you want? We, as a society believe that we can't be happy unless certain events have happened that we deem nessesary to bring us our happiness. We strive to have more and more and feel that we shouldn't "settle" for what we have... That there is a whole world out there that is for the taking and that we "need" to take it or be failures. If you don't go to college and become a doctor, lawyer, or a big corporation executive, then you are in a "dead-end" job and not worth the money you make... You hear about potential and how you are wasting it... How you are not doing well enough in someone else's eyes, wheather it is your parents, teachers, or councilors. That you "need" to do your best to overcome what society deems as a failure... You, yourself, have felt that you are special and that life holds some special place for you to excel in and so far it has evaded your search... So, if you have heard or felt any of this, then we have something in common! In my 49 years on this lovely planet, I have come to the conclusion that nothing can make me happy... not success, wealth, or love. I make myself happy in how I perseave what I am and what I have. I have the ability to look at my situation and deem wheather it is lacking in what I need or count my blessings for what I have. I turned 49 today... I have to keep telling myself that because I keep forgetting and think I am turning 39! My concept of a 49 year old is by no means myself. I like to play video games on my new PS3. I like to run to the mailbox if it is sprinkling... I like to watch Harry Potter movies and paint my nails with glitter. My husband says he is married to a 16 year old because of what I like to do and wear. Not because I feel young doing it but because I like the styles. I am not successful monetarily, nor a career woman... I do not have a good relationship with my kids or grandkids, and don't even own my own home. I am on my 3rd marriage and am overweight... ACKKK a failure by societies standards? I think not! I am loved by my husband and my 10 nieces and nephews... Although I don't own my home and live with my mom-in-law, we get along and she has filled my heart with love and took me in the flock! My job is not great but I work indoors, have medical, dental, and vision and the pay is pretty good. My health is not the best but I am able to get out of bed and walk on my own two legs and go to work everyday... I have bills but who doesn't? It is that the more money you make the bigger the bills is all. I have a brother who loves me very much and even though I don't talk to my kids, I know that they love me too. I am able to sleep in a warm bed and wash clothes when I want. I am not where I wanted to be at this age, but I am not on the streets and I have friends and family. I am not happy to be 49... but then I am happy that I am ONLY 49 since I am not getting younger and 49 will look pretty good in 10 years! I am not upset with how my life is, I am not unhappy really... I just have to remember to not want what is deemed to be what makes you happy... Do you think that having high priced clothes and items does it or just makes you look happy to the neighbors? I think society needs to do what they "want" to do... and stop putting their noses up to material things and realize that is NOT what life is about... We have all heard about how you can't take it with you... but do we live it? I think not... I would much rather die penniless and with lots of friends at my funeral than with a lot of toys and have noone. So when you are blue and feel like a failure... really look at your life and count what really does count and make sure your priorties are in the proper order. If you do that, then tell my why you aren't happy?