why does this bother me?

ok so i have plenty of issues and i'd like your guys input on this one lol
i have a problem giving away my kids toys and also i flip out and feel really sad when they break, more so than my kids. we are pretty strapped financially and have received free toys from generous folks off of freecycle and craiglist plus my whole family is always too generous at christmas and birthdays so my kids have soooo many toys. I am a toy maker myself and sell soft toys on etsy and have no problem selling those toys and I have given dozens of my handmade toys away to charity. but for some reason i do not want to give away the toys my kids no longer play with. i have a tub of baby toys that are in good shape that i would like to keep for the next baby (whenever that may be) but i also have more toys that my kids have out grown, in good condition, but i don't want hanging around the house, but yet can't part with them. i don't know why i am so hesitate to pay it forward and give them to another needy family.
and the other part about their toys when they break. my kids are young, both under the age of 3, so they don't really notice when things break or don't work properly but I do and it makes me so sad Happy or if i find that they have colored in one of their non coloring books or ripped a page out. i don't know what they heck is wrong with me or why it bothers me soooooo much!
there were a few times when i was a kid that my toy would break and even if it was an accident my parents wouldn't replace or fix it and they would make me throw it away. it didn't happen very often- actually i can only remember 3 times when that happened but i am thinking maybe that is where these feeling towards toys come from??????
i don't know, i feel like a freak

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13 replies since 27th December 2009 • Last reply 27th December 2009

I have the same problem..I get SOOOOOO upset when my kid is careless with her things (she's 3) I keep the really nice stuff out of reach and bring it out when she is being good.. I supervise so I can make sure she is not ripping pages out or coloring on the wall. it's a lot of work.. but id rather that than a house full of broken toys.
As for the amount.. I also have the same problem.. cant seem to give anything up.. its hard because you dont really know what to give away.. you might be giving up a favorite toy without even knowing it.
My mom is taking her overnight tomorow so I can go through it all.. im going to box up the majority of it and leave only a few things for her to play with at a time.. then when she gets bored of those i will switch a box so her old toys seem new again.. guess im just waiting until she is old enough to make her own choice on what to give away.
I also have a problem with her having too much because she is becoming really un-greatful.. our house is covered in toys and it still dosent seem to occupy her enough.. and since christmas she thinks she can get presents all the time... i try to tell her that there are kids who have no toys and that she should be happy with what she has.. but i guess at 3 she really dosent understand that yet.

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I think you should try your best to pick out a few favorite toys (what you think would be a fav) and just get rid of the rest. I'm a pack rat, especially when it comes to clothes. I have to force myself to get rid of items and ask myself A) do I HAVE to have it & B) do I have a NEED for it.
I don't think your kids will truly miss anything. When I was around 5 my mom wanted to donate some of our toys. Even though I didn't play with half of them I still flipped out about her giving my toys away. She later came and got some of them and I didn't even notice.
As far as flipping out just try and tell yourself that they are just 'things' they aren't worth getting upset over. I know it prob just makes u upset, but my mom used to get REALLY mad at us when we broke things. I think that's why I have a diff attitude. I don't see a reason to get mad about things breaking or getting messed up... THey're just things.
But I have not had kids yet, so who knows how I'll feel then..

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I grew up with not a lot of money.. and really appreciate things.. thats why I think I get upset.. because I know someone worked hard to get something for her and she can just snap it in half like its no big deal and throw it in the garbage. I have started to go through her things tonight.. im actually finding it easier than I thought to purge some of it...especially the noisy toys.. it felt good to put those in the give away pile Happy

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i still look at stuffed animals/dolls/toys with faces as alive, because thats how my mom always acted around me when i was little. :-P

idk if that comment was relevant or not..... lol.

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I think I would pick things they still play with or you really want to keep and give the rest to charity. To someone who really needs it

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i still get sad and teary when i look at my old toys from when i was little, especially when i give them away for charity. i know i dont need them any more, but its just like im giving away part of my childhood... i see where youre coming from there heather...

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thanks guys i feel better this morning. I have a box of commercial store bought stuffed toys ready to go. i have a few more things I am thinking about keeping. i think i get upset because i know if my kids break something i can't afford to replace it.
we are not having "chirstmas" with my folks or my in laws until the second week in january and i know they will get so many new toys. i need to clear out the old ones and pay it forward. it will make me feel good to help someone out since we have been on the receiving end so many times Happy

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I think it's normal to want to hang on to your kids' toys, because I think it's more than their toys to you, it's part of their lives. I understand why you wouldn't want to let go of that. My advice is:

1. If you can box it up nice and store it away without taking up space you need, then keep whatever you want!
2. If you can't box it up nice and store it away without taking up space you need, then try to start small: 1 toy per kid, or ten percent of the total. Maybe it'll help you let go.

I think it's normal for you to freak out if their toys break, because that's money you've spent and things should be taken care of. As long as you recognize when it's an accident and as long as you're not going psycho on your kids, I wouldn't worry about it. You want things to be nice and taken care of, that's a good attitude!

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I think sometimes if you've had problems with depression objects and possessions can seem really important and precious. Not because you're materialistic but because you know they may be bringing happiness and you know that that's so precious. I might be barking up the wrong tree completely but I'm wondering if the toys have come to signify something like that to you. They probably don't mean any where as much to your children but because you love them you want to hold onto all the happy stuff. Sorry if thats come out really strange but I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying. Basically don't be hard on yourself because you want to hold onto all your children's toys, just remember that they will have more and these will be cool and bring lots of fun and happy memories too.

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you might be right arty kitkat. i haven't really thought of it like that, but it makes sense
and when the toys break i don't go crazy screaming at my kids or anything, i just feel really bad INSIDE, i feel sad

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I agree with Kat. *hugs to Heather*

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I'm glad that made sense. x

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have a hug

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