Epic rant (with swearing)

Well I was going to put this in what's making you mad, but...I'm selfish. And have quite a lot to rant about.

So we're doing Oscar Wilde's A Woman Of No Importance in English lit at the moment. A big focus of this topic is about context. Obviously, a bit part of the context is that Mr Wilde was gay. Now at sixteen/seventeen, even older, you'd think we could get over it. Some men like other men. They kiss and have sex. It's not wrong and filthy anymore. We now live in a world where we don't imprison people for being gay.

We were watching the film Wilde today, and everyone was getting a little funny because it's got a lot of gay sex scenes in it, and I don't think it was because it was gay sex as such, more that no one's entirely comfortable watching naked people in class and stuff, which I can understand, even though it doesn't bother me. A couple of people were kinda joking that it was gross cause Jude Law's attractive and Stephen Fry's not (I love him, but yeah), and I was kinda laughing along and saying that at least Wilde is beautiful on the inside whereas Jude Law's character isn't and stuff like that.

But there's this guy in my class *sigh*. He's really immature, REALLY stupid, always falling asleep in class and not doing any work and just making an ass of himself. He hates me and always sits glaring at me in class, even when I haven't said anything. Now, I can deal with it as long as he's keeping to himself. But during the gay sex scenes, he was being really loud and rude about it, and being veryvery homophobic, going "It's sick and disgusting and wrong, fucking faggots" etc etc. So I just calmly said "Look, it's a film about a gay man, you knew that from the start, if you can't just watch it you might as well leave so the rest of us can". And he looked straight at me and said...

wait for it...

"Fuck off you stupid goth"

It doesn't seem that bad just typed but I cannot express the venom with which he said it. It was unbelievable. My jaw just dropped and everyone went silent. I look at my friend and she went "...OH."

Now I'm awful with confrontation. I freak out. I hate arguments, which is bad because I'm quite argumentative. So I just started shaking quite violently and was trying really hard not to cry. Luckily the lights were off so he couldn't see. The only thing I said was "I'm not even a goth!" which he laughed at. But my problem is, my "fight or flight" response kicks in pretty powerfully, and it was so hard to just stay where I was because if he had been closer to me, I WOULD have smacked him round the face (it's normally my first instinct), but to get to him I would have either had to climb over a few tables or walked round the entire class (we're set out like a U and he's opposite me). So next I thought "Run away!" and started packing up my bags. But I stopped myself luckily and just sat there. The whole rest of the lesson he didn't even pretend to watch the film, he just lay down on the table and stared straight at me, only stopping to whisper something to his friend (who, funnily enough, was telling me how pretty I am the other day) and then laugh and look at me.

I just...still can't quite believe it. I dunno, maybe it seems silly to everyone else. I was just so shocked that someone could be so rude right to my face. I talked to Sarah the teacher about it afterwards (she was out of the room at the time) and I love her, she was really nice and of course I burst into tears as soon as I started telling her but she was great and said that no one's allowed to talk to someone else like that, especially after being homophobic which is bad enough anyway, and she's not letting him watch the rest of the film or even come in the class tomorrow and if that affects his grade then it's his fault. But yeah, I'm still not quite over it. Just...people fucking suck.

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24 replies since 6th February 2008 • Last reply 6th February 2008

Reply #1:

I feel for you. I had a rough time with assholes at my highscool as well. Just know that you have a whole website of people here on your side and we'll come and kick his ass if you want!

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Reply #2:

yep I had all that too...I wasn't even a goth I liked 'indie' and I've moved on to slightly 'heavier' stuff and now everyone likes indie when I was considered a goth for it!!! anyway I don't think your silly anyone would be upset because of it I would have been and I was in that sort of situation. It's hard for now but know that when he leaves school the shit will hit the fan and he'll realise that he's been an idiot when he's on the dole and no one will give him a job etc etc.

p.s. I LOVE stephen fry he was my husband in a past life tis true!!!

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Reply #3:

I worship Stephen Fry. I would marry him.

Sarah like forced him to apologise to me today. He came in and she had a go at him and said it's not right to be so homophobic and stuff, then he looked at her and mumbled "Sorry for not liking gay people", then she yelled at him about me and he looked at her again and said "Sorry for calling you a goth", so I just said "I don't care what you call me, but you can't swear at me" and he looked at her again and said "Sorry" so I said "You're not even looking at me" (I refuse to give in haha) so he looked at me and mumbled an apology to which I just went "*sigh* yeah..." and he threw a fit and said what's the point in apologising if I won't accept it (cause you didn't mean it, fucktard) and he walked out. But my teacher was really nice and said that she was sorry he was such an immature twat and I was in the right and if he gives me any more hassle to go straight to her.

Maybe it's a silly little thing but that's where it starts, you know? In secondary school I got bullied a lot but I always lashed out and hit people and then had panic attacks, so I was known as this psychopath in my school even though I was just terrified all the time, and I don't want that to happen again so I just needed to stop it straight away before I got too upset

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Reply #4:

I'm sorry you are having to deal with that foolishness. I went through the same thing in high school. I grew up in a Parish just outside of New Orleans. Most everyone there is extremely narrow minded, racist and intolerant of anything unfamiliar to them. I actually had one incident where this kid, Nathan Longo (I'm in my 30's and will never forget his name), threw a chair at my back. I'm a small girl. In high school I was tiny. I'm 5'2" when I first wake up and I weighed only 90lbs. back then. Why did he throw a chair at me? Because I wore Doc Martens and that was too weird for him to handle. As if that wasn't bad enough when I reported the incident to the disciplinarian nothing was done. She told me that I dressed to provoke a reaction and whatever reaction I got, I had asked for. Anyways, just remember that assholes like that guy in your class peak in high school and it's all downhill for them from there.

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Reply #5:

That's really horrible =S

Kids at my secondary school used to try and give me epileptic fits. Then bully me for having them. Although I'll never forget being bullied for wearing a coloured hairband, people use to throw stuff at me about that. But it's not like our school was strict on uniform, I was just an easy target

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Reply #6:

I'm sorry that guy was an asshole to you Happy Kinda makes me glad I went to an all girl catholic school! We couldn't express any individuality at all haha

Outside of school now that was a different story, me and my mate were the laughing stock of the estate coz we were "different", we were kinda hippy/grungers, people can be so cruel.
I remember the worst abuse I ever got was from an uncle Happy He would have been the comparison to chav now, but in the early 90's he was so mean to me and all because I had a pair of docs on(like you Mafalicious) and an Indian style hippy top! I have never forgiven him for that Happy

I just don't get why people are so bugged by the way other people dress or express themselves?
My mother hates how I dress, she hates that I don't dress like everyone else! I'm not hurting anyone am I? pah!

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Reply #7:

It's just so ridiculous. I don't know how people can be so offended by clothes.

It just really frustrated me as well cause I'm NOT a goth, I don't think I wear black anymore than anyone else. I have black hair because I have pale skin and green eyes, so it just goes better. If I wear black clothes, it's generally because I'm insecure about my body and black's slimming, or because it just suits me better! And I think when he called me it, I was wearing a Motley Crue cami top and blue jeans, hardly goth!

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Reply #8:

Kitten, i know just how you feel. A few weeks ago i was in my Social Studies class, and we we're discussing the changes in the way the public views gays, comparing today to a 100 years ago. And we have this selfish prick in the class that is out to get me (told him i wouldn't date him if he was the last ass on earth a few years back and he has never quiet let it go) so I was debating for the gays, as i have a Lesbian aunt and she is THE coolest aunt ever, but as i debated (not using my aunt as an example as why Lesbians and Gays should be allowed same acts as the rest of us take for granted, i.e marriage, fair payments in jobs) and he was fighting for why gays should not be allowed (all in good fun my teacher said *eye roll*) and the teacher left for a moment, and than he accused me of being a Lesbian myself, for who else would defend them, and than used the way i dress as part of it. Just because i don't wear my clothes so short my boobs and ass can hang out does not make be a lesbian, and i have had a boyfriend for 2 years now and i am more than happily in love with him, really. But now he's got his whole group making me out to be some hyper-lesbian and as part of my school is super-catholic, its really starting to tear on me.

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Reply #9:

I think that most of the people who are homophobic are scared because at some pont in their life they had a dream about a person of the same sex or a crush on someone of the same sex or even just a thought and for a second it turned them on. And they are afraid of that.

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Reply #10:

I have to commend those of you who are in school and standing up to this crap every day. You've already won by not giving up who you really are.

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Reply #11:

This stuff makes me wish back then that I had the 20 something year old vocab and moxie I have now.

Man would I lay into those asses in class about what they would be doing with the rest of their lives.

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Reply #12:

Jasmin, that's horrible!

I got badly bullied in school because I'm bisexual. It was all really silly cause the guys bullied me even though they probably watched lesbian porn, and the girls would bully me even though they got drunk and made out with each other. But it went on for a LONG time, until one day the main girl refused to get changed in front of me for PE. I actually had a boyfriend at the time, and of course I never would have been interested in me. She just sat there and went "I'm not letting some scabby lesbian perve over me". So I just went over and hit her. It was brilliant, we had a proper fight and she came off a LOT worse than me. She never bothered me again and she actually got in a lot more trouble than I did. Not that I'm advocating violence, but yeah, you have to stand up for yourself.

I'm really aware of what I'm wearing in the mornings, now. Part of me keeps saying that fuck him, I'll wear what I want and go in wearing all black. But the really insecure part of me says that maybe I should just go in in normal clothes. It's frustrating.

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Reply #13:

You should be yourself, don't let anyone change you. Especialy not an some guy being a dick. When you get to college the way you dress won't matter, and there will be a lot more people who dress similar to you so you will never feel like you don't fit in or anything. Things get easier in college. I never went but it's what my bestfriend told me. She was always made fun of too for the way she dressed but when she went to college she met lots of people who were cool enough to dress the same way! Happy

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Reply #14:

Oooh you're American. I was confused, like "But I am in college!", but of course your college is our university. Umm yeah, I guess things have got better since school which is what I was really hoping, so I'm hoping it'll only get better. Although the unfortunate truth is that some people never grow out of it, and there will always be arseholes

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