My god I'm pathetic...

It just occurred to me... my social life is horribly plain. XD

On occasion I exchange phone numbers, I have my set of regular people I speak to depending on which class period, and I'm not really in a main 'circle' of friends. Rather, I don't have a 'circle' of friends. All I have that are main is my boyfriend, which is like before only he was my close friend before.

Now that he has work near and on the weekends and goes on weekdays I'm left alone wondering what to do this friday night. -_- Never thought about it, but I'm horribly shy. Takes a lot of courage for me just to call up people. It's not that I dissolved all my free time into my boyfriend as I didn't spend much time with others anyways.

Well, that's gonna change! Starting now I'm gonna be more outspoken and just become friendly with more people! It's pathetic that I depended on my free time with only my boyfriend.

I managed to call a friend and invited her to watch Alice in Wonderland with me and she may possibly invite other friends as well. Happy Hopefully not too many as I told her it was my treat. lol $10 a ticket. Time to start reconnecting with old pals I never really became pals with in the first place!

As things seem all well and good I was wondering if this was a normal thing for people. In the past I was more or less forced to stay at home meaning I couldn't really connect with people. But is it normal for a young 17 year-old to go through this sort of thing? My mother tells me that it's fine and usually really good friends that stick come around college or when you have a career.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post
5 replies since 10th March 2010 • Last reply 10th March 2010

Hi Jessica - you are not alone!

I moved a lot in childhood and never really fell into a click. (Chandge primary school once, went to a different high school to my friends, moved country at 14 and started a new high school, went to a different uni to my friends and now I have a different career to the people I grew up with).

Having been at work for about 4-5 years full time after uni I now have a friend network. Most people I call friends that I actually have a relationship with I met at work or through social activities. I have one really good friend who I keep up with from my first high school but that is. Its not something to regret as people evolve as they get older and needs within relationships change.

The best advice I can give you is just to get out there and give it a go. Say "yes" if invited out, sign up for classes (a good way to meet like minded people) and don't worry about always having your BF along (he'll understand that you need a life too).

Enjoy life and try (almost) anything once and you'll be surprised who you meet along the way!

I hope that doesn't sound like a lecture! It took me a long time to realise that I had to step out of being the "home body" or "shy" and just get out there.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

i'm the same, as well.. i only have about two close friends and i find it hard to trust people after being ditched on several occasions. i dont go out a lot, but i guess it gives me more time to study for school and pursue hobbies for myself.. Happy hope i helped a bit with my experiences

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Honey that's just life, as you are getting older you are getting set into a routine. It's only natural. I'm the same, I have my set of friends, I hardly ever go out with them and when I do it's the same things.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

I think it's great that you're being confident enough to make new friends. I had quite a hard time the last year and a half or so and I found it really easy to just hide in my boyfriend and spend all my time with him, then when things got better I realised I'd lost all my friends! I'm trying to make new friends now so I know how nerve-wracking it can be but it really is worth it and I'm sure you'll meet some wonderful people.

I think what you're going through is perfectly normal, and the friends you make individually will likely be much better friends than those you have as a 'circle'. Be yourself and keep the courage up!

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

hey....

i totally know what you mean, im 22 and all i really have is my boyfriend, my sister and my mom.... i mov ed schools also and then moved away again so found it hard to conect with anyone. peoplei have put my trust have nearly always let me down and i guess ive given up on the whole thing. i have a couple of friends that i socialise with on rare occassions but other than that its just me and my bf and when im not with him im alone.... sometimes i wander through the supermarket feeling like a total loser because i see other girls with their friends and wonder why that was never me... sadly myself and my bf are going through a really rough patch and i dunno will we ride it out, so if he goes then im totally alone really.... at the moment i am looking at places to rent by myself just incase it all goes pear shaped and everything looks horibly lonesome.... why is it that some of us just seem destined to be alone... i was so happy when i found this site because it is the 1st time ive been able to talk to other people who enjoy crafting, anyone round here that i have told has made fun of me Happy its nice to be making some friends for a change, even if it is just through a computer screen... Happy

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post


Reply