Is homosexuality a choice?

I am so confused. When someone is fighting for civil rights for all homosexuals, What exactly are they fighting for?
I think that homosexuality is a choice, but hey maybe it is genetic.

Love is love why should it matter if its between two men or two people of the opposite sex. Who knows maybe we have all been conditioned to love a person of the opposite sex. Homosexuality is such a tough issue and I am not sure where to start because I know nothing of it.

What is the deal???

Why shouldn't homosexuals have the same benefits as heterosexuals?

Whats so sacred about marriage anymore? All I know are families who have been divorced. Perhaps you could look at it religiously but isnt there suppose to be a seperation between church and state. If there is a seperation between church and state, than how come people who choose to be gay are neglected or treated unfair legally!? They say homosexuals cant get married because it is unnatural. What will happen in the home when they adopt kids? C'mon homosexuality isnt a disease. Kids are already growing up in broken homes, what would it matter as long as they get the attention and love every kid needs.

I have heard before that if you give a homosexual rights than you would be paving the way for child offenders, fat people, and druggies to have rights. I don't understand that at all. How can giving rights to homosexuals be the same as giving rights to child offenders?

Someone please help me!!!!!

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16 replies since 24th August 2009 • Last reply 24th August 2009

In my opinion it doesn't matter whether someone's homosexual or heterosexual, everyone should have the same rights and no one should be discriminated against. A homosexual person is another human being, and what does it matter if they love someone of the same gender, so I see no reason for them to have fewer rights than a heterosexual person. I don't understand why religion discriminates against homosexuals, because if God wants us all to love and respect all the other people in the world and if He loves everyone then why doesn't he love gay people? And saying that giving gay people rights opens up the door for child offenders to have rights is absolute crap, child offenders by definition have done something that has harmed another person, and by doing so they've given up certain rights. If someone is homosexual then that doesn't automatically say that they've done anything to hurt anyone else.

And about whether homosexuality is a choice or whether it's genetic... I don't know, but it would be interesting to find out how people's minds work on things like this, and whether things are actual matters of choice, whether they're in our genetic make-up, or whether things that happen throughout our lives affect our lifestyle.

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I believe, and I think most homosexuals would agree with me, that it can certainly be both. Some people are born attracted to the same sex (no ifs ands or buts) and then you will find that a lot of people "choose" it as a lifestyle (and there's a really fine line). When you start asking people about themselves you'll find many many MANY homosexuals were abused at a young age..it's overwhelming. And, I'm not saying that all homosexuals were abused (I wasnt) or that every child that's been abused turns gay..but many have been and I think it certainly plays a role in how they view relationships and what they choose to pursue.

And as far as civil unions go..people get SOOO confused! Marriage and Civil Unions are SUCH a different thing..we're fighting for civil rights..meaning if I'm dying in the hospital my wife should be able to come see me (right now..that couldn't happen!)..and yea, we want the financial benefits of a marriage! Marriage is a christian institution..I'm not asking for the bible to be re-written to include my relationship..I just want equal rights and benefits.

Don't EVEN get me goin'!
I'm done.


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Sigmund Freud allready believed that all people are born bisexual and that becoming hetero is due to social learning. Becoming gay or bi to him was "something going wrong" in socialisation of the child. Well most of Freud's opinions aren't mine but there I think he has some point...
I think right now no one can tell if homosexuality is a choice or not. I don't think it's fully genetic but like most behavioral things it may have a genetic predisposition, wich means you're maybe born to tend into one direction...
I believe the biggest part of it is learned and "choice" - but there are many people doubting that Happy
I think we all have male and female parts in us, and to me it's pretty easy to switch, oneday its predominatly this, the other day that...
It certainly is a question of your brain, because it's your brain which connects your feelings with the outside, from that point of view you can theoretically learn to direct your love-feelings onto every-one and every-thing. (Our prof made the example of an eunuch, who theoretically should not be able to feel sexual arousal anymore, but if you have experienced it once, your brain can allways retrieve the feelings and you can direct them to anything)
So, in a very theoretical sense I think you can choose your sexual oriantation. But it depends on your willingness, and why should most of the people want this? Happy And like I said in the other thread, I think it depends on a general flexibility in your mind or whatever... Happy But I think most important is what you've learned, how you grew up, and so on. And I think that's also the cause of many deviations in these matters like pedophilia or whatever.
And that leads to the first problem: where to drew the line? There are many people putting them selves into question all the time, and trying to find out who they are, testing their borders, and our brain is built for flexibility and therefore won't stop you Happy You have tho drew your line for yourself, and thats pretty difficult ande I think there is some danger in it.
I think that's the problem with people wanting to deny the basic human rights to homosexuals, they are afraid that most of the people won't be able to drew the line for themselves and therefor enhancing the probability of deviant behavior. (And sometimes this really is the case, all these pseudo-artist, "honor your depression" "homosexuality as a lifestyle" and so on, doesn't seem so healthy to me either...)
But after all, it's mostly your brain that leads your behavior, and either you want to change it, or you don't. And if you wan't, either you achieve it, or you don't. And in the meantime your brain's changing all the time anyway... Happy Where to draw the line needs some portion of common sense, and denying the basic human rights to homosexuals (which means GROWN UP and mentally healthy people having sexual inercourse by mutual consent) has nothing to do with common sense.
But unfortunately there are many people doubting the "mentally healthy" part of it... Happy

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also, just an interesting fact to note, many animals have homosexual mating tendencies, and even relationships. Penguins mate for life, and there are several cases of gay penguins. Bonabo (sp?) monkeys are rampantly bi-sexual, as are dolphins. I think most of us have probably seen dogs of the same gender humping each other.

sorry for the vulgarity. my point is that there is obviously something biological going on, seeing as how animals aren't always big on making choices about something as intangible as sexual orientation.

(i just saw this and thought i'd contribute my two-sense Happy Bye!)

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There was actually a gay scientist who was studding the brains of men who during there lives had been gay and found out that a gay mans hypothalamous(SP??) was larger than a heterosexual mans so... well maybe genetic but....maybe more people being gay is just evolution wait i know wht but think about it as the world population continues to increase its a way for people to be sexually satisfied without reproduction

Really i don't know or care people are what they are but hey i brought up some weird points huh....

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I actually had an argument with the boyfriend about this the other day. I think that MOST people are born gay - think about it. If you're in first or second grade, nobody will have conditioned you to be gay or straight, but you're going to know whether you have crushes on boys or girls.I don't think there's anything wrong with it - I think what's wrong are the people who are so judgemental! Still, it might be true that some others do choose the lifestyle, some even for the attention. I at least know a few people who in high school decided to be bi, because then they were liked by everyone, but hey - whatever floats your boat. I do believe that everyone should have equal rights, and the idea that supporting gays leads us into child offenders and all that is just crazy!

Bad people come in all shapes, sizes, colors and walks of life - what does being gay or not have anything to do with it?? I just don't understand!!

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Oh yes, I totally chose to be gay. I mean I love the fact that my best friend of five years stopped hanging out with me after I told her I was gay, and then told everyone I kept "getting all lezzie on" her. I love the fact I'm terrified of my dad finding out because then he might stop helping me both financially and emotionally get through University. And don't even get me started on how great it was having to change in the bathroom before gym all through high school because the girls locked me out of the change room on the first day. I love reading in the newspaper about a lesbian couple whom were beaten up outside a elementary school last weekend; it makes me feel so safe. I mean why wouldn't I choose all this? These are just some of the great social benefits that come with being gay.
(And just incase you didn't notice: I'm being sarcastic.)
Also I love how we have to be studied, as if we are some bizarre unknown thing. And how people in California had to ask millions of people if they could marry the person they love, as if it had anything to do with them. I also LOVE how everybody here is saying "I think" as if it is an opinion, that is like me walking up to you and saying "I think you dye your hair." Why not just find a gay person (we are everywhere) and ask "Hey, were you born gay?" most likely they will say yes, unless they have some serious issues (one girl I dated said she was gay because her boyfriend cheated on her, as if girls would never do that to other girls. Fun fact: She cheated on me with former boyfriend.)
I'm going to have to stop ranting here, because I don't think I can continue being polite much longer, But just one more thing...

"I have heard before that if you give a homosexual rights than you would be paving the way for...fat people... to have rights." Um....what the fuck? Fat people do have rights! Hell, anybody can become fat, anybody can be skinny. Does the fact that they are fat make them a bad person? This makes no fucking sense! Please excuse me, I must go bang my head against the wall.

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In my VERY basic view, I believe it is both a genetic and social influence. Perhaps we are born with Bisexual genes and our social and psychological upbringing can influence this?? Maybe not. I think its a combined thing.

But like you have all been saying, it is only fair that we all have the same rights, after all, we are all human beings together.

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Expired Sanity we should have been friends in school alot of my friends were bi and well if anyone would have done half that shit i'da kicked there asses

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To ExpiredSanity

Omigosh, that sounds absolutly horrible, my friend is Bi-Sexual and was in a gay relationship for a long time when we were at school and what I found was that the people in our year were alot more accepting as there were several lesbian couples in our year. I found that it was actually the younger kids that would always shout horrible things to her. On a snow day my friend and her girlfriend were pelted with snowballs... pure ignorance. Luckily at Uni, our friends were also very accepting.

I can't believe people wouls stop talking to you for being gay, you are still the same person you were before telling your friends... I understand what you mean, as a large person I can sometimes get treated like crap. And the way you feel about being gay people having to be studied for being gay... I feel the same way about fat people having to be studied for being fat, also the NHS gives out free help for people to stop smoking, but not for those to lose weight, being overweight causes more strain on the NHS than smokers do.

Sorry it's stuff like this that really grates on my last nerve!!

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I think that sexuality is a preference, and just like an other sexual preference, some people think that it's their business to judge when it isn't. I believe that society conditions us from day 1 of our lives to think that certain things are right and others are wrong. For example, besides liking men or women, movies condition men to think that if they are nice to women they will get a relationship out of it every time, hence "the friend zone." Society conditions both men and women to think that being natural is wrong. That's why some people think that being gay is wrong, because it's natural and apparently being natural isn't a human characteristic anymore.

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Can you remember the day you "chose" to be straight? Neither can I.

Kudos to Expired Sanity, just a note, the sooner you be who you are, the less you'll care about that people think. Free yourself, you CAN do it!

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Here is the thing, if you are heterosexual and you believe that it is a choice to be homosexual- then chose to be gay right now. Make the choice to be gay right now. If you tell me you can't- that you can't find someone of the same sex to be sexually attractive or conceive of having sex with someone of the same sex, then clearly your theory is incorrect.

And if that's not enough to convince you that it's not a choice, think on this- I have two dear friends from college who both happen to gay- they also happen to be identical twins. You want to tell me that they both chose to be gay, be persecuted for it and kicked out of their private college and disowned by their proud parents because that was what they wanted? If being gay was a choice, why would anyone choose it? Why would the one twin choose to come out to her parents and her college when she saw what her sister was going through when the school discovered she had a girlfriend? Why would she say she was gay if it was a choice and she could just choose to be straight.

I'm pretty dumbfounded by this post and have been ignoring it but now I feel like someone needs to speak sense and use some real world logic seeing as so many actually think that people choose to be gay.

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If you believe homosexuality is a choice, choose to be attracted to women. If you can objectively choose to be attracted to women and pursue them then maybe -for you- homosexuality is a choice.

Something cannot be genetic and also a choice. Our genes are not up to our decision.

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