Backstabbers.

So,
this girl has been my best friend since I was in grade 2, Im now were grade eight, so its been pretty long. Anyway lets call her Maddie. So back in June, she got this boyfriend named brett. Hes rude and mean to me&her. The sad thing is shes only 13 and they already had sex, and oral sex,, without a condom. She thinks its really cool. But he pushes her around and hes always looking for some. She thinks thers no problem, But obvsly there is.So lately shes been 'frogetting' to call me, and spending alot of time with him. Andi know, couples do that, But real friends dont just forget about their friends right? After all we been through, Like this summer, i missed seeing my best male friend so i could stay with her while brett was off in ontairo partyin it up, & she sat on the computer waiting for him. Shes starting to think sex is really cool. and shes making new friends with 'whores' and lying to them about me , saying that i've had sex before, which i havent. and that im a whore to. Im really not sure what do.So should i wait around for her to come through, or should i just move on?

So yeah,
any help or ideas would be nice Happy

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post
15 replies since 15th November 2009 • Last reply 15th November 2009

If it's bothering you this much I would say move on for now.. just give her some space. Trust me.. when your an adult and out of school, none of this will matter.. you'll be more worried about paying bills and rasing kids Tongue If I could go back and do it all over again.. I would have concentrated more on school, friends come and go.. you have to be a little selfish and do whats best for you Tongue hoped that helped some.. good luck!

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

thanks.
it does,
my moms been saying the same thing.
but i just kind of thought she was agreeing with me becuase shes my mother,

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

I agree with Jess B, and the whole sex thing, I know this may seem mean and all but if she keeps having unprotected sex you should really tell someone, she is really opening herself up to a whole bunch of deseases.

And you know that you are no whore, and that is what matters. And if she thinks its cool leave it be, if she keeps having un protected sex and get pregnant or some STD, she will no longer think its cool

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

I had been friends with one of my best friends for about 10 years her boyfriend cheated on her about a year ago and they broke up, we spent nearly every weekend together having fun and going out, they got back together about 5 months ago and I have seen her once since then. What makes this worst is that I went to every one of her birthdays (even when my ex was there) she came to my 21st for about 2 hours then left... And to top it off my partner nearly got put into jail and she didn't even ask me if he was ok for all she knows he could be in jail.

Trust me get rid of her, people like this don't change she will be all chummy with you when they break up but as soon as she gets another guy she will ditch you. You seem like a girl that can easily make new friends (I know it's easier said than done coming from the girl who only has a few, but that's my own fault) These people bring you down and they forget the golden rule "Hoes before Bros" and that's something that you haven't forgotten.

Hope my rant helps you a bit Happy

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

metal is right, don't let them use you

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Tell on her. Better to have her angry at you than to have her life completely ruined.

A lot of people are too scared to backstab me so it's never been an issue. Happy

I have had girls do this crap to me before. It got to the point when the group of girls followed me a couple of feet out of school campus. While they were doing their little 'giggling' and 'omg weirdo' I kneed one girl in the stomach and punched the other girl in her face. "If you have the guts to talk about someone like this at least have enough strength to back it up!" Ah, my middle school years...

Nowadays I'm much more relaxed and care free. When someone is stupid enough to say something near me I turn to them and creep them out with a silent smile until they go away which is always hilarious. Another trick is that works for me is to suddenly yell, "Haha, you're stupid." Both work wonderfully for creeping out/shutting someone up. Happy

Though many people don't trust my advice whenever I suggest these things...

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

oh girl, i forgot how much drama there was in school! it really is bothersome when a friend does something like this. people will flake out on you no matter how old you are! if you care for her, you need to tell her mom/ guidance counselor, and trusted adult, what she is up to, so even if she doesn't stop having sex, at least they will be able to give her birth control or something. it seems to me like she is trying to impress others and she is using you as a step to do so. don't let her.
if i were you i would just let that relationship slide. school is great with friends and all but you should be concentrating on your studies, not your friends misbehavior!

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

oh Jess P. how many times did I wish I could hit some dumass who was causing shit

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Honey you're only 13, you will find that things like this happens... my friend was a virgin till about 6 or so months ago (she was in a long term relationship with another woman!!) and she basically went all out to sleep with this guy she used to have feelings for, and it's abit like WTF!? It really makes no difference whether you are a virgin or not, I'm 20 and I'm still a virgin. And with regards to you friend forgetting to call you, you will find when you are older that your friends will get partners and drift apart... I know its sad, my 3 friends have partners, I'm the only single one, and I hardly ever talk to them, they are so busy with their own lives. It's just the way things happens honey, you will find something similar happen to you when you all leave school.

If it really bothers you, talk to you friend... tell her how you feel, I know it's hard and can seem daunting but its better to have it out, overall its less drama.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Friggin A...

I just hate that there are so many idiots out there giving my gender a bad image...

I've had a few friends find a girl and simply dissappear on the rest of us (this would be what most guys refer to as being "whipped" ), but the ones that really matter, your true friends, are still there, relationships or not... Yeah, relationships can take time away from you and your friends, but I really don't see it as an acceptable excuse for totally loosing touch. If that's all it takes, there wasn't that much there to begin with, in my opinion. If it really meant something for each party to stay in touch, they would find a way.
Either give up on her, or if you really want to keep in touch with her, talk to her. Not much more than that could be asked from you at this point.

I'm a fan of free will as much anyone, but having sex at 13? A bit too young... And without protection? That's just asking for trouble. There's really no good reason she could give for that. It's just reckless and there can't be any good reasoning behind it...

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Kyosti, america is hyper sexualized. many young girls are trusted into a very sexual society at a very young age, it is everywhere and most parents are not educating their childern about what is going on in our society, or letting the media raise their kids.

I work as a photographer and you would be amazed at what parents will let their childern dress, I think girls need to learn that not coverning up(as in letting it all hang out) is not sexy, its sleasy. I have seen many girls over the summer wearing shorts so short that their but cheeks hang out, ewww. And were are their mothers? right there with them. Same with makeup and letting their kids stay out so late. They give there kids way too much freedom. I never had that much freedom growing up, and it didn't hurt me.

But my sister learned her lesson really well after she became a teenage mom, and years of smoking and drinking and drug caught up. She now looks like shit, her skin is like leather, she developed asthma and has a daughter to support. When your 13 you don't think it really matters much.

but when she gets a STD, or pregnate or even arressted(tell her that the legal age of sex is 16 in Canada, and I belive 21 in the US) you can be arrested for it, its considered rape at a young age.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

At school , I go through alot, mainly becuase im bi curious which most people take that terriblely.So only my best friends know. And theres so many rumors that started back in june and everyone talks about me. But i really dont care, becuse jesus if your still talking about me, i must be pretty damn important.

But anyways, I went to the mall with a group of people and she with was there with her boyfriend. I didnt talk to her alot. But she pulled me aside and asked if i was still her friend, so i just told her stright up, that im not her best friend, nor are we really close but were friends & im not going to wait around for her. She took it pretty well, but i really dont care at this point.

As far as freedom goes, im not aloud out past 10 unless i have a phone or im at someones house. but i do wear low ish tops. but not enough for everything to pop out. I wouldnt say that Im not aloud to do anything, my mother is just a easy going person since my brothers addiction and all.

& michelle, i would tell her. But she doesnt make a effort to talk to me. And im not being mean, but please if you wanna be that way, im not going to try Happy

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Well Jesse, wearing low cut tops doesn't make you a tramp, its wearing the low cut top, with your bra hanging out of it, wearing shorts so short your but sticks out of it, well you get the idea.

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and staying away from people who spreads rumors and stuff about u seems like a good idea.

I am bi as well, the best thing to do is to come out to your parents because no matter who you think your friends are, someone might let it spill and its actually the best to let everyone know. Don't be afraid of it, BI sexuality is a sexual orintation.

Happy

anyway you are right to not worry about it too much

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Happy
this site has acttualy helped alot with everything
since my mother tends to be against gays,
but, Eveyone that is starting the rumours thinks that being bi, means to like every girl or guy
which is not trueee.

And the only friend that acttualy knows is also bi,
and shes still ' in the closet'
and since shes mormon.
But i think i will acttually tell my mother when i know for sure. I dont want to put any sort of the wrong idea in her head.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post


Reply