frustrating partners

I am so frigging frustrated at my partner right now

I've been trying to clean up our place as we've got a two bedroom home and just way to much junk, that half of its spilling outside (literally) its not un hygenic looking its just messy looking and its getting to the stage where I'm embarrassed to have anyone over. Not that I do often but its not the point.

We fought about it tonight and we hardly ever fight, tonight in the three and a bit years we've been together is the first time he's actually raised his voice at me and yelled at me. I was a crying mess earlier but I think its more because my depression is starting to act up again.

Anyways I told him the reason he's getting frustrated cause he can't do anything around the place is that we have too much crap. He took it probably the wrong way and said well what's the point of having anything.

I'm trying to get through to him I want this place to be nice for us, if he brings it up again I'm gonna have to say well if you can't do it I wonder why because its sh*tting me up the wall that I can't have it nice the way we're meant to.

But he'll only do things he wants to do such as if he wants to play with his power tools or do the gardening that's a project he'll actually finish *sighs*

anyone else got frustrating partners?

I've cleaned up our bedroom, the bathroom and the kitchen but only because they're considered women areas, he hasn't said as much but I know thats why. Its cause he reckons he can't find homes for things himself so its up to me in that department. But if I leave things up to him nothing gets done! he's worse than a child in a way...

I love him but seriously gah!

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14 replies since 16th November 2009 • Last reply 16th November 2009

But it's not fair that he's making you do the "woman" bits, fuck that, seriously. You go out and cut the grass when he needs to do it and leave a mop and bucket in the kitchen for him =P

And I think the point IS that you're agoraphobic, he should be making things easier for you. You say you don't have people over often, so he should be helping you to want to have friends over, right?

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Not sure if I'm having the same problem exactly, but I am constantly "b@#$%*@&", is what I'm told to be doing, but it gets old when you constantly ask ppl to pick up after themselves, and this includes the freakin dog. I'm really beginning to not like him now, ever since we moved and can't let him run around outside in the new neighborhood, he has to stay in the house, and yes he tries my patience, doing s%*# he's not supposed to. We got into just it this past weekend about the very same thing. Ok yeah I'm not working (outside of the home), but I'm CONSTANTLY working around the house. I get really upset, putting that lightly, when I'm cleaning and everyone is lying around or sleeping. I'm always the last one to go to bed and the first one to get up. Love my finace' to death, but he's lazy. He has a job and will go crazy without one, drove me nuts when he was out of work, so he will work for money and that's the only reason. So as far as doing anything around the house, I can forget it. I will b$%&* for awhile until he finally gets tired of my mouth, then he will do something for like a day maybe two, then it's back to doing nothing again. He says he's getting tired of my nagging, not the word he used, but I told him "if you want me to shut the hell up, then do what I ask and help every once in awhile." My daughter is on the list too, she will do something sometimes without being asked or told, and I know I they should be helping out more, but it's just easier sometimes just doing it myself, because unfortunately, I'm particular about how I want something done, so if it's not done right then I have to do it anyway. So why waste the energy of griping about it. I can't count how many times I walk around the house mumbling to myself, yet telling myself to keep quiet for sake of arguments. I hate arguing.
So yes girlfriend, you're not the only one with a frustrating partner. Good luck though!!

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oh we all had those, once I got so pissed of that I tossed all his stuff in a box and told him to sort it

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I wonder if I'll go through this eventually. Other way around though. My partner's the one who loves to clean. I'm the one that constantly says, "Later", "In a bit", and my most frequent line, "I'll do it tomorrow."

I'm not sure if you want advice about this, but I'd like to put in my two cents. Perhaps part of the increase of the conflict is the way you approach him about it. When I confront my partner about something (that doesn't involve me being completely pissed right then lol) I talk about it as if it was a normal conversation. No seriousness, resentment, or insults. Just regular talking.

I've yet to get into a fighting argument yet or problems and my personality is that of a naive child so maybe my advice isn't the best. XD

I find it very hard to get mad or frustrated with my partner. Housewife husbands are so awesome. lol

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hi guys we've kissed and made up but god I was stressed yesterday >>

I actually ended up of course going through his pile of papers and junk by his chair in the lounge lol he hates me going through his crap but he's the type that'll just never
do it.

Anyways the lounge room is now presentable again ^_^

I'm so glad we don't have kids yet lol along with my health/mental health issues I just don't think we'd cope lol

Kitten thanks yeah I told him that he's actually getting hard to live with lately cause for some reason his depression is playing up, but he's going to the docs on Friday about it

so hopefully his moods will slow down to normal again.

He does make things easier in his own way just its hard when I can't get what I want done and have to wait weeks *gonks*

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You know what? I am NEVER living with anybody again after reading this.

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Hahahahahahaha! Laurel you're funny!!!! Does that include pets? LOL

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lol, you say that now....lols

but I think it comes with relationships

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It might even include houseplantsHappy

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Laurel its funny thinking about it I think I've gotta live with someone if I just lived by myself I'd go nuts from boredom!

either way I'm a killer of plants, somehow even fake ones too

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I'd probably drive anybody else nuts anyway lol. Also there's no one to have a go at me for the purple bath after I've washed my hair;)

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lol, reminds me of when I dyed my hair black...the tub was awefull

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god I remember coloring my hair black, it looked like it exploded in the bathroom or something >>

but yeah I think for living arrangements to work out it has to be compatible otherwise blegh lol

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lol yeah

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