in law rant

parents are one thing but in laws are another! ARRGGGHH, my husband's family practically invited themselves over for Thanksgiving. I am happy to have them because I love to host ( easier for me to haul my toddlers and their crap and have about 10 anxiety attacks in the process).
ANYWAY my beef, this time at least, is that they are so willy nilly, fly by the seat of their pants, they aren't helping me with any of the planning. I've written several emails lately about who is bringing what to eat, sleeping arraignments, when people are arriving/leaving, and no one has given me any answers. even a quick- "hey heather got your email- will get back to you as soon as i can" would be better than nothing. i have talked with them on the phone too with no definite answers. ARRGGG
I'm NOT a kind of person who needs everything planned, but if we could just get the basics down it would help my stress level.

oh and it's not just the holidays- they are like this with everything! then they get upset when I make my own plans and can't be a part of the thing they kinda, maybe, sort of planned.

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27 replies since 13th November 2009 • Last reply 13th November 2009

well since they are not being considerate of you, I would just stop doing it for them. So if they all show up and you didn't cook what they like or don't have enough for everyone..just srug and any oh well. You tried, you reached out, and really with all the stress of the holidays...I was just think no more of it.

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It sounds like they're being rude and inconsiderate. So, I would just do whatever and try not please everyone b/c CLEARLY thats impossible.

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nodds

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i agree maybe send out an e mail saying last e mail! if you dont answer you get what you get Tongue my inlaws are another story haha ill have to tell you about them someday right now my mans sittin next to me :p

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I love to host, and unfortunately I don't get to do it enough. I have the problem of getting my family to come visit for the holidays, I usually have to go to them, or that's what they expect. That's a whole different thread!! But anywho, yeah, if they don't extend the communications lines then it's not your fault they aren't satisfied with the turn out. They're lucky you even tolerate them coming, let alone not giving some input or help. So if they sorta make plans different from yours, not your problem, they're at your house and what you do or say pretty much stands.
But of course if this is the norm for them, then your stress level that you mentioned is going to be peaked too high on one those little occasions and someone may get their feelings hurt, but again not your fault. They are inconsiderate ones as every one has agreed.

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lol drea

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ook haha about my crazy inlaws... we used to get along so well when i first moved in cuz i just turned 18 and i moved in with my boyfriend and his family he has 2 lil sisters and 1 older one but she didnt live with us and right off the bat the older one said she didnt like me before she even got to no me? dunno why... anyways we lived with his grandma and his mom was in and out of the house eventually she got locked up went to prison for a year and when she got out she wanted to do good so she moved in with us and thats when every thing when wack.. she was mad cuz her son baby'd me i was a spoiled brat there when i was pregnant lol and she was jealous i guess and she told chuey (my boyfriend) that he cant do things for me and not his sisters cuz they are jealous.. they werent it was her.. long story short i got into it really bad with one of his lil sisters she is a year younger then me and we stopped talking.. few years later i got into it the other one so both of them didnt like me but didnt do nothing about it we just didnt talk.. then i got pregnant again and all of a sudden they grew balls the day we told the family i was pregnant one of them pushed into me all ugly and i couldnt push her back or nothing because chueys grandma was there and i didnt want to disrespect her house ya no.. then we moved out got our own place and they would drive by flippen me off talkin crap and texting me they never did anything like that when i wasnt pregnant and i just had enough of these girls lol so i called them up and said if they have a problem with me they can come down to my house and we can handle it. it must have surprised them cuz they didnt no what to say they finally said grow up drea gosh your all pregnant were not going to fight you.. and i just laughed and told them to grow balls lol nothing ever happend and i havent talked to them since its been a year now i get along alright with his mom and his grandma and his older sister i kinda do but geez! his family is nuts lol there childish! grrr... i still love them like family tho Happy

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o and his sisters have have names for us when we come over i dunno what they are but one time chuey and his mom were arguing and she said thats why no one likes you when you come over they have names for you guys... your never bored in that house! im glad we moved lifes to short for drama like that even tho i would love to fight his sisters lol its just not worth it like i said CHILDISH!

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yeah, thats crazy. then again what is normal?

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omg drea -that's crazy!
yea i sent out the same email about 3 times. still haven't heard from my sister in law but oh well i guess! i pretty much know everyone else's details.
i know mostly they get on my nerves because they are just completely different then my family and the way my mother and father in law raised their kids was very different then how i was raised. I was taught common courtesy, respect, etiquette.
i love them like family, and like i said i do love to host. but i just know there is going to be some awkwardness about SOMETHING. I'll try to keep my anxiety in check but that is always hard when my mother in law is around!

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lol well good luck girl Happy

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frazzled nerves. don't you love holidays and planning family get togethers

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update- my sister in law "just found out" that her husband can't come......um we've been planning this since JUNE, do you mean to tell me he didn't ask for time off until last week or something? seriosuly! and she said she was nervous about coming by herself because her baby doesn't like strangers. i was really offended- i'm not a stranger, i'm family!
***much wailing and gnashing of teeth!***

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think of it this way, its one less. And if you don't hear from them soon, just cancle it. Have a small dinner with your family. you know they will show up

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