My Grandmother died today, but thats not to prolbem

Its how little i seem to care... like holy god. i mean, im not at work or anything i jus came home, and im more worried about the fact my dishes are piling up on me. And i feel really bad, but i can't make myself care. I mean, im sad cause she was my grandmother. But i'v know for like 5 years that she could die, tommorrow. And she was nearing 100, and had sooo many issues with her. The only part that caused me to actually cry was whe my parents made me look at her body. And i spased to the seven heights cause im am acutally afriad of dead things, whether their animal, or human. Like, i've gotten to the point that the only reason i eat meat, is cause im low on iron (can't spell the damn word right now.)

i feel bad, for not caring.

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6 replies since 12th November 2008 • Last reply 12th November 2008

I know how you feel, but you can't force yourself to feel things and I guess that's the bottom line.

When my grandma died, she had been very ill in hospital and I didn't see her for a year or so before she passed away. I wasn't allowed to go to the hospital because she had gotten so bad that apparently she looked awful, but we knew for years before that that she was taking lots of tablets and things. So when she did die, I didn't cry, which was horrible because I knew that she was my grandma and she was dead, but, and I hate saying this...but she was already dead in my mind. I don't know if that's how you feel? But it's like not a sudden thing, not "Shit, she's dead". The only parts of her death that made me cry were when I found out she'd given her body to science (I didn't really understand it then, and it freaked me out beyond belief - I didn't sleep properly for weeks), and when we scattered her ashes because my cousin's daughter kept saying "Where's Grandma? What's with all the dust?"

Anyway, enough about me. Basically, I get how you feel. But you can't feel bad for something you simply don't feel.

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Your not the only one Jasmin. Sure its sad when people die. But its part of life. I only get sad when young people die. Older people though they lived a long life. They had their experiences they LIVED. I don't like to be sad that people are dead, I like to be happy they were alive.

My condolences by the way.

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I was the same when my grandmother passed a couple of years ago. But I had experience years prior of my fiance' passing away when he was only 22years old. I was sad that my grandmother will no longer be here but I knew she lived her life to the fullest and I know my grandmother would not want me to sad for her passing. She is reunited with my grandpa who past years ago and they had that forever kinda love.

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I'm sorry to hear that your grandmother has died, I felt the same with my own grandmother. She was not ill before hand, but I barely knew her. Her funeral was the day of my bro's confirmation, so I never attended the funeral or saw her body, which I was thankful for.

So, basically don't feel bad for feeling however you do. We all express our emotions differently.

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I am sorry to hear about your gran.

But you know, everyone deals will greif their own way

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I'm sorry to hear about that. At least she was old so she had had the chance to have a good life. And if you've known about it for years then you've had time to come to terms with it and you were prepared for it, so it's not like it was sudden and unexpected.
I guess it all depends on how close you are to the person as well. When my dad died nearly 5 years ago yeah I was upset, but not as upset as I would've been had I been close to him. My parents had been divorced for about 4 years, and even when my dad lived at home he was either asleep with a hangover or at the pub. And his visits to my brother and I were few and far between, and even then he always brought alcohol... it got to the point where my mum told him to not bring alcohol or to not visit us and he chose the alcohol, so when he died I reckon I was still holding a grudge over that. But anyway... I wasn't close to him so that made it a lot easier, but the fact that I found out about his death quite suddenly was the thing that made me most upset.

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