You think English is easy?
Read to the end . . . a new twist
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP be cause it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. I f you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP ..
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP .
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP, so........... it is time to shut UP .!
Oh . . . one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P
Yeah, English is a really ridiculous language. That's why it's so interesting =P
lol. It was weird, but in all of those first sentances, I never missaid a word... Its really odd.
but I still love it.... if only I had an awesome accent, it would be even better.
I'll have to introduce this to my english students!
Thanks corrie for this. Its very cool and I agree, English is a very strange language. I'd never realised though just how odd and thank god I didn't have to learn it as a second language
it is a language of borrowed words, from French and german. anything ending in ion is french in Origin, you see English(old english) started off as a pesant language, of the common people who wanted to copy the royals who spoke french and latin. Thats how english started and continues growing.
Ahahahaha! Oh, that made me laugh so much. It really is silly isn't it? Now I feel sorry for people who have to try and make sense of it, when learning it as a foreign language. Must really be Hell!
Oh yeah, I thought learning German was hard, but in Germany they start learning English at the age of seven just to be able to vaguely understand in at 15!
German is easy, I speak it. The best way to learn a language is to live in a country that speaks it. Thats how I learned German, lived in Germany.
My French is very rusty
Wow,that was hard... I started to learn english when I was 9.in school.It was easy,I was watching Cartoon Network all the time. My mother is hungaryan,my father is serbian.And I speak german too.I would love to learn romanian.I love to learn languages...if I only had money for classes...
I agree with Michelle, the best way to learn a language is to live in a country that speaks it. I learned English when I was 6, I live in a spanish speaking country, and I never had problems with the language, I actually think is the easiest language in the world, it was very few rules, there are little confussions with feminine and masculines, there is no polite way to refer to a person they just use "you" no matter who they are talking to... but I've met people that learned while they were older, in their 20's, and they have a hard time conjugating the verbs and stuff like that.
Personally I think that Japaneese is one of the hardest languages to learn!!! I tried and quit after a year, it was too confusing. And I was never going to have the chance to practice. French on the other hand, it's not that easy, they are very complicated, but it's so pretty that I just had to learn. And no I'm going to live in France for seven months so I can practice my french!
i actually like english better than dutch, english has less of the stupid, ridiculous, hard rules i think.
most people in my class can't spell well, or get the verbs right, or chop the sentence into little pieces saying which is the subject, object, etc. and that's in dutch.
of course, this has a lot to do with me having an excellent sense of how english should sound, so i do english at feeling. while i have to think hard about dutch.
so english might not be super logical, but dutch is even more weird. we actually don't have a dutch word for baby. we really don't. and so on....
and english sounds better. i think.
and as maya says, the absence of having to think about feminine/masculine/polite/etc. is wonderful.
My first and only language spoken is English, but I've always known that English is probably a very hard language to learn for those whose first language isn't English. Any language is difficult to learn but as you've pointed out there are many paradoxes. But it's what you are used to... I'd love to learn and language and/or go and live in another country!! Michelle, what's Germany like to live in?
im so glad its my first language--lol!!!!! my bf makes fun of english all the time (his first language is hebrew). he says it never makes sense. i have to agree. ;)
I agree Rachie - I'm glad its my first language too, because there would be no way I could learn it as a second language. It sometimes doesn't make sense.
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