Lost in Life
I'm a firm believer that your birthday can be a fresh start to a new you. People don't have to wait to New Years to do that. In fact any day can be a day to start new. Recently I've been in a slump. I want to change that. I want to be stronger then the person I was before. I'd like some advice and insight to help me along the way.
First let me explain my situation to you:
Like I stated earlier. I think birthdays are a great way to restart. While I don't mean to sound ungrateful and I should be so lucky that I had some of my family there with me. But if my birthday is any indication and how I am going to spend year 23 of my life then I have a year of having an average life, being broke, and full of tears ahead of me.
The reality of my situation.
-I live with my mother. I live with her because I have no where else to go. I don't have anyone I could call a roommate and I couldn't afford to live on my own. She makes me feel so stuck and like my creative ventures are a waste.
- I do help my mom out with bills. Not a huge chunk but I know it helps. However, on top of paying bills my role has changed to more of a roommate/maid situation. My brother lives here as well and while he has all the freedom in the world I have hardly any. This makes it even harder to save money to move out or buy groceries for myself.
- I recently quit my job with nothing as a back up. It was at the point where I thought I would break. My sanity felt at risk. My job wasn't for me anymore and my mom worked there. I had enough of seeing my mom.
- I have no friends and therefore no moral support except for a boyfriend, he's wonderful but a bit lost when it comes to handling me.
-Going to community college sucks. I feel like I am missing out on life experiences feeling so stuck. Not to mention the long commutes and paying out of my own pocket.
- I want a creative life. That seems so impossible. Florida is all about tourist and food. Silly things like colored hair that I should enjoy at my age are shunned.
-I am shy.
I enjoy anime, conventions, and movies. I have rekindled my love of drawing and painting. I recently started working with resin. I want to learn how to sew. I want to cosplay. I love tattoos and piercings and colored hair. I love fashion and bjds. I hope to start a blog and YouTube channel one day. As well as a shop. I love the idea of travel. Of healthy eating and a positive life. I love crafting and learning new things. I want to experience what it's like to live outside these four walls where I'm stuck. I want a job that lets me look how I want or allows me to utilize my creativity. I want to make a best friend. I want more for myself. And most importantly I want to stop living for other people. I want to live for me.
I don't want to be down anymore.
You're probably closer to improving things than you think as you have a clear idea what you want from your life and what you don't want. I would definitely start of with getting yourself a blog. Blogspot is good and so is tumblr - you don't need to be especially techy to get one started.
I started mine coming from a similar place as you and really found that it got me focused on the creative side of what I wanted from life. I started mine when health issues meant cutting my work hours. I found it focused me (and still does) and helped me to see the positives. Also it got me creating more as I wanted things to post on my blog. I would also look at getting yourself a online shop with someone like Etsy. That way you can start selling some of your creations. I'd also pick yourself up some temporary hair colour and have a play around with colours. I know you can do coloured streaks with pastels - they wash out so won't permanently dye your hair.
Thanks so much Arty KitKat! These last few days have helped a lot and all your advice sounds wonderful!
No worries. I think the thing is to take small steps towards your goals. My boyfriend is always very fond of the saying that goes something like 'how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time' Start making small changes and get comfortable with them and then build on them.
I agree, you're in charge of your own life and you are the one who can make the changes you want in it. If you're unhappy with your living situation- get a job, get two- find a way to move out- just be aware that you'll still have to clean when you live on your own. Part of growing up and being independent is doing things you don't want to do- which includes working at jobs you don't enjoy, and being broke all the time. Trust me, everyone else your age is facing the same issues and you're not missing out on anything. At 23, you have a long life ahead of you to do all the things you want so don't be so consumed with having everything you want right now.
I also expect the reason why your mother expects more from you than she does from your brother is because she knows you are capable of doing and being more. Don't consider it as a negative- it's really a compliment- she sees the potential in you and wants you to do something with your life.
Do yourself a favor- don't expect yourself to do anything in life, unless you are working toward doing it. That may sound really negative- but it's really just very honest and it allows you to see what you need to do to make your goals happen and work toward them. You may have to work a couple mediocre jobs for a couple years before you get to go on that dream trip an you may have to blog in the middle of the night but that's part of life. You make your dreams work into your daily life- not the other way around.
Wow thanks pink weeds! I found that really eye opening and encouraging. I've never thought about it that way. I especially liked the line 'you make your dreams work into your daily life- not the other way around'. It's so obvious it's startling. Daily life will never stop so you have to make your dreams work for you when you can!
I moved out when I was 18 because living at home was not an option.... I was fortunate in that I could rent an apartment with my sister and her at the time fiance but I didn't have a job at the time and I was in community college as well. I took the first job that would have me - which was a restaurant I was at for 3 years. It was miserable work, it took forever to save for the basics and I was completely on my own for bills / school. It sucked but I got through it by working as hard as I could to earn money and finish school because I knew it was temporary.
Right now I'm still not in an ideal situation - after my sister got married I started renting a room at my boyfriend's parents house. I finished school and have a decent full time job and despite being able to actually afford get a place of my own I can't because my company was bought out at the beginning of the year and my job will no longer exist in 6 months. Its frustrating to start over but I'm looking for more work and saving money in the mean time because I know that this is temporary and I will finally be enjoying true independence in the near future.
I'm not where I thought I'd be at 24 but I'm proud of what I've accomplished and how much I have done completely on my own (no help from parents, boyfriends or spouses). Be patient, you actually do sound like you know what you want just keep working at it and you can get there. Also, don't stress about finding a "great" job... I think that so long as your not doing something that you hate the job you do doesn't matter - its what you do outside of work with the people you care about that you really live for.
The biggest things to worry about are:
1) Roof over head (which you got - not perfect but it will work for the time being)
2) A job to pay the bills (everyone has to start somewhere - just work and save as much as you can)
3) Finish school (a degree in any field will go far to getting a job and setting you up in a good position in life)
With the basics covered everything else will fall in place around it - you'll be able to enjoy a place of your own, friends and be able to branch out creatively.
You can make a LOT of money off of blogging and youtube. I've recently added ads to my blog. While I don't have a lot of followers right now, I do plan on changing that because I can share my posts on other peoples blogs who do something called "link parties" and people will find my blog that way. I just have to start posting more! I recently got a very nice camera, which has been left at my BFs moms house. I just need to remember to bring it to my dads in order to start taking pictures! You can add ads to your youtube account as well. There are plenty of people who have literally made a living off of youtube! So if that is something that you want to do, you can make at least a little money off of both of those. So go for it!
It's the end of October and still no job on my end. What am I doing wrong? I have no clue. But I'm trying not to give up hope. Thanks for the wonderful advice everyone.
What jobs have you applied for?
What do you list as your "skills"?
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