=( Miss my brother.

So my friend put up the video for Run by Snow Patrol.

It was the song I picked to play at my brothers wake. And of course I had to listen to the damn song. And now I am crying my eyes out. I miss him so much. He was only 14 years old. He would be 18 now and fixing to start senior year in high school.

He died playing that stupid space monkey game. Where kids choke themselves to the point of passing out to get a high. Well he passed out and landed on the belt so he suffocated.

Sorry, just had to let that out so I could stop crying. Didn't want to say to much on Facebook because my mom is on there.

And if you do that or know someone who does, stop it. It is a stupid thing to do and not worth your life. I am still super pissed at him for it too.

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12 replies since 14th August 2010 • Last reply 14th August 2010

oh my god, hon I am so sorry. Yes people please, spread the word that these games are not fun.

Tara sweetie, I wish I could say I feel your pain, it must still be so fresh.

maybe you should honor your brother, did he have a special place to hang out, maybe put a marker in his name.

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I'm so sorry sweetie, it is always so hard when it comes to things like this. I don't think the pain will ever completely go away, but will eventually get easier.

I agree with Michelle, maybe you should try to honor your brother in some way or maybe you can join a group that promotes awareness about what happen to your brother, so that others won't do the same thing.

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My brother grew up in Louisiana. When Katrina hit he was with my dad. My mom and her husband evacuated to Michigan. And his dad and him I don't remember where they went. Well his dad was sneaky and moved him out to Cali without my moms permission. He wound up staying with his aunt and that is where he died. 2 weeks before he was suppose to go home. They flew him home with that ticket for the funeral. So there is no where around me to have a marker or something like that. I have been thinking about joining a group or something like that. I just try to spread the word that it isn't a game and that you can die. I just hope all his friends that were doing it stopped and don't let anyone else die in the same senseless way...
I guess that night he was suppose to do it with a friend but their sleepover plans fell through.
I called him that day too, but he wasn't at home. I wish he would have called me back. )=

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I'm so sorry Tara. I can't even begin to imagine how painful this must be. Maybe you could create something in his memory, I don't know if you paint or maybe create a collage that includes his favourite things and helps you remember the good stuff. Or you could devote a part of your garden if you have one and plant something in his memory. Or get a locket so you can wear a picture of him near your heart.
x

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Its kind of funny. I am actually going to get a tattoo on my lower back in tribute. Why? You ask because he hated the tattoos down there he said they were tramp stamps. And told me I better never get one. So, naturally I am going to just trying to figure out what exactly it should be. I don't really want a R.I.P John or anything like that..

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what about something that he liked (skateboarding, fishing -don't know so you fill in the blank) and his initials and dates! I don't know if you're religious - but with his being John, what about a saying from John? I'd give you one but I'm not religious!
I can't say I know what you're going thru but know that I'm here if you need to talk! And agree with the girls about joining an awareness group! I'm sure there is one near you!
Big hugs honey! We're here for you! Happy

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a symbol that repersents him? his life and what that means to you

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Oh my god I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say.. If you ever need someone to talk to you will always have people on here that will support you. Death isn't something people get over easily and I know how it feels to lose someone close to you..
If you want to get a tattoo in tribute think carefully what you would want there.. Like Melissa said, it would be nice if it was to do with something he liked, since you don't want to just say R.I.P. I'm really sorry about your loss and we're all here for you. *hugs*

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Thank you guys.

And I am thinking really carefully, I have been thinking for a while now. Maybe something with the HIM symbol, the heartogram because it symbolizes love in death. I am not sure. Definatly not going to throw something together, it will be my most meaningful tattoo I have besides the one I am getting for my kids.

Thanks for letting me hash this stuff out on here. I don't like to talk about it in person because I will start crying. And I hate crying, it makes me mad.

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crying will let it out

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for the tatoo, maybe the lyrics for Run

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Have you ever listened to the song? Here just in case I will put it up...
<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AOBs8dU4Pb8?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AOBs8dU4Pb8?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

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