Is Jelousy a Sign of love?

I think it is, to a certain extent. when Antonio gets mad a bit, its kinda really cute. but theres times when he gets a bit extremme, i can understand that cuz he's sooooo SERIOUS about me and imonly like what? 15! (he's 17 btw...)


so what do you guys think?
is jelousy a sign of love?

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11 replies since 20th May 2009 • Last reply 20th May 2009

I think that jealousy is a sign of insecurity in a relationship. In my previous relationships, I found that I got jealous when my partner even so much as looked at another girl because I wasn't really sure if the other person wanted to be with me or planned on keeping me around. Those relationships failed, and now that I have a boyfriend who loves me as much as I love him, the jealousy has subsided because I know that he wants to be with me and only me. So, what I'm trying to say is that I think jealousy is a sign of being in a non-ideal relationship where one partner likes or loves the other more than that other partner likes or loves them.

I think your bf rightly senses that you aren't as into him as he is into you, which is why he gets jealous.

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I have to agree with Rainbow. In my last relationship I wasn't jealous at all until one day a look in him changed, and he ended up cheating on me not too long after, haha. Some jealousy and protectiveness is alright, like if a guy hits on you or openly checks you out when he is there and he puffs up his chest and/or puts his arm around you, it does show they care. But if he freaks out and hits the guy, thats a bit scary, or if he forbids you from going out or hang out with friends of the opposite sex is not love, it's signals that they do not trust you to make the right decisions. It is also a possibility that people show jealousy because they are in fact being unfaithful and are projecting.

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yeah, I'm agreeing with rainbow here. and g.nee might be right about the whole unfaithful thing

also I do nnot think jealousy is cute, I don't like to be contrlled

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Yeah I agree with whats said there. The main thing for jealously is insecurity. If things like that continue it will be the downfall of any relationship. It shows to the other that you don't trust them.

I have a friend who is battling this problem for himself at the moment because he gets jealous so easily. He gets into fights with his gf a lot because he thinks one of her friends has a thing for her. It's hard for him because he doesn't have much confidence in himself, he has a bit of a complex in thinking that every girl just wants a huge, big and buff guy (which is quite untrue). Also previous girlfriends have cheated on him before. So there's a point of view from someone who is the one getting jealous all the time. We are trying to get him to control it but its mainly up to him.

The thing you need to ask yourself is this what I want right now. Your only 15 and you might not be as serious as your bf but that alsodoesn't mean that you are going to run off with every guy that comes and talks to you. It's a tough one to judge and hard for me to say much as I am lucky enough not to have had an overly jealous bf before. I've just seen a lot fail because of jealousy problems alone. If you don't like it tell him. If he doesn't learn to control it then is this what you are looking for?

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I think rhibi is right, ask yourself is that what you want

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Actually, some of you may disagree with this. But after having taken 3-4 college psychology classes...I've heard plenty of different scenarios. HAHA!

Jealousy can be a variety of things...some people have listed them: insecurity, lack of confidence in the relationship, trust v.s. mistrust, and the last one that nobody will like....a sense of control.

Jealousy is actually a way to control your partner...most people who are jealous don't realize that they are trying to be controlling in the relationship. Usually, the person who is on the opposite end doesn't realize they are trying to control the relationship either. Jealousy is often seen as a sign of love, but be very careful. Jealousy can get really serious.

You just have to know where your cut off point is. If it gets to the point where he's driving you crazy, then like Rhibi said, you need to ask yourself if that's what you really want. If he tells you that you can't hang out with your friends, then you need to ask yourself if that's what you really want.

Being the girl that told herself at 12 years old that I wouldn't let anyone in the world change me (wow, that was 10 years ago)....I've made my mistakes and dated guys that have tried to change who I was, because they were so insecure about what the world thought about them when they were with me. I always told myself I was going to be who I was...and I think the world might be a little better if every girl told herself she was going to be who she wants to be.

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I've never had to tell myself to be who I want to be, I do it by accident lol

when I've had jealousy its because of my own insecurities

when I've seen extreme jealousy in other people its about control

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kt, I never thought of that. controll. Like you KT, I tolde myself I am going to be me and not let anyone change me. I have been lucky not to have any jealous partners, but I know friends who have had jealous partners or they were the jealous ones. You gotta be careful though, it can get out of hand, I knew some girls who were stalking their partners...

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a friend spied on her ex boyfriend...I think he was cheating but I just thought it was so extreme, she called a friend with a car and went. You shouldn't have to do that to know, you should be able to ask and expect the truth...shouldn't be cheating in the first place. He always commented on how she should change her hair and clothes style etc. It ended badly but thank god he's out of her life.

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see we've been going out since i was like lets see...its been about 2 years and a couple of months, i started dating him when i was 13ish...
so i mean we've talked about it, and he knows he gets jelous.
the thing is though i can sort of understand the type of jelousy he has, its sort of the
"oh-no-that-guy-is-pretty-good-looking-and-he-might-be-competition" type of jelousy.
Latly ive been getting mad easily at every little comment he makes, so we talked today and
you're right he thinks im not as into him as he is to me so hence the mild jelousy.
He never goes all ragey and throws hissy fits but he does get a bit sensitive (awww...),
everytime he's told me that a certain guy friend likes me, a week after my guy friends have admitted it..so uh..thats pretty scary Tongue

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Well..thing is...guys know how guys are...(i think that's what makes them so protective)

...so they know what perverts they can be...(no offense or anything)

....so they can get a little jealous..

...and yes, it's easy to see it as an awwww how sensitive and cute...

...but be careful...because guys don't like to be babied...they like to be macho and be the best...

...maybe you guys need to find a good way for both of you to express how much you want the relationship...

...say..maybe write one good thing to eachother each day?

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