they dont get me here

It really hurts my feelings that no one in my fam gets me. and they make dumb comments. like yesterday, i got out the wire cutters and took the handle off a spoon, left a little piece to turn as a hanger and planned on painting the spoon to make a pendant. I thought it was genius! (seen it on here somewhere) but my ma was like whats it gonna be a crack spoon and laughed. i was just like how effin rude that you gotta make a stupid comment about something i really was excited about! i was glad i could cut the spoon and whatnot. and its always like this. anytime i recycle something into one of my creations or draw something i adore, the people around me look at me like im nuts or make comments that hurt cuz they just dont get me. Have any of you ever felt like that? like people just wanna rain on ur parade because ur misunderstood? okay, thats my little rant. thanks for listening (or looking) watev

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post
16 replies since 18th February 2010 • Last reply 18th February 2010

I haven't had the same experience with family, sometimes strangers at craft fairs will say something hurtful but they are strangers so i think it is easier for me to just let it roll off my back. with family i am sure it hurts more. i am sorry Happy sometimes you just gotta create how you want to and don't let the man stifle your imagination. some people just don't have a creative bone in their body and don't understand (((HUGS)))

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

My parents were like that all the time, don't worry about it. Instead revel in your uniqueness, if they wanna be sheep and follow the herd then let them.
If their comments hurt you then just don't show them anything. I moved as far from my family as it was possible to get w/out leaving the U.K. and now they miss me and my oddball ideas=)

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

i understand completely when i started knitting or if i tell anyone that i knit they just look at me like im crazy or an idiot or somethin bc it is an old lady type thing they think or they just think of the stuff like granny squares or somethin and i mentioned something about spinning bc i think it might b interesting 2 learn and they look at me like are u crazy well yes but thats beside the point so if they do that then just ignore them and either u can show them what u made kinda like well look at this isnt it awesome or just dont even bother with em me and my husband have just learned 2 pretend 2 b interested or understand what the other is talking about and then b surprised at finishing or i help with his stuff like making his gille suit

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

I get that quite a bit but it doesn't bother me anymore i love the thing i make ! . I think that's why there are places like this because we can appreciate your creative genius for turning that spoon into a pendant ( I wish i had thought of it ). Just carry on making fabulous creative things and make sure you give your Mum a spoon pendant for Christmas ! x

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

I know how you feel.. every time I make something and I'm all excited about it, I like to show my creation to my mum.....and she always say "I don't like it, I have to be sincere!"
and then I feel so down....But when I publish my creations or how to here, people write nice comments or add the project to their favourites and that's rewarding ( can I say rewarding? sorry my english is so bad Happy )
I agree with Laurel: don't show them anything...
Cheer up!

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Rewarding is the right word Susanna! Your English is fantastic! I have the problem of being misunderstood in other areas, so the crafting is not a problem when it comes to my family. I agree with Angie that you should give your mom a spoon pendant for a gift. I'm slightly spiteful like that Happy

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

My extended family call me weird. So I will celebrate my weirdness, wear it as a badge and know I'm individual. My daughter likes the things I make for her & my husband is always happy when I fix his shoes.

It is particularly difficult when you have spent time and energy creating a project only to have it questioned or rejected by the people you want approval from most (family). People just don't see things the same way.

I've learnt to accept that I am master of my own thoughts and what people say (even family) can't hurt me if I don't allow it to. I can choose to be angry or choose to laugh at them and say 'hey, you just don't understand it'

I use humour to make me feel better. Next time say to your mum 'can you tell what it is yet?' with a smile on your face, walk away and say nothing else. Least that way you get a laugh too x

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

thanks kiddo Happy
*blushes*

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

You're welcome, Susanna. Happy

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Mamatwitch, I know what you mean about knitting - I used to bring my knitting into college if I had a free period and sit outside on the grass and knit something. Everyone thought I was really weird and couldn't grasp the concept of a 16 year old knitting. I get the same on trains, now - if I sit down near older people, they tend to shy away cause they obviously see the pink hair and nose piercing and studded clothes and that, but then I'll pull out some embroidery and they often ask about it.

I kinda know how you feel, Ashley - luckily my mum's pretty crafty so she lets me do whatever I want, but my dad thinks I'm really weird when I'm sat there trying to bend a fork into a bracelet, and just makes jokes about it. Which is why I do most of my crafting in my room =P and all my family think I'm the crazy one, but I only bake them stuff for presents, cause everyone likes shortbread and fudge and stuff.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

I'd been making things from found objects and scrappy bits for many years, as well as honing my beadwork, sewing, and painting skills, by the time I got married. My (now ex-)in-laws all thought I was weird, but were still fascinated by my creativity. I got the 'old ladies knit' thing, too. What usually bothered me, was that my mother in law would fluctuate between saying how I should find a way to start selling my creations, and saying, "I'd have done (some such thing) differently." Which was ridiculous because she wouldn't have started any of the projects I made in the first place, so why would she have thought to do something differently? Also, she'd yell at me and tell me I needed to stop playing with stupid crafts and do some damn housework. Her son, my ex husband, was always jealous of my paying attention to craft projects instead of him(I didn't ignore him entirely, but he cared more about playstation than about me), and made it as difficult as he could for me to make things. He actually broke my bead loom, and supposedly didn't even know he'd done it.
MY family is usually enthusiastic about my stuff, and often give me scrappy bits, or buy little craft supplies they found on clearance for me. Although, my mom the hoarder constantly accuses me of being a pack rat. But how can I make some awesome last minute project if I don't still have that exact yellow t-shirt sleeve I saved from some project 5 years ago? LOL Maybe I am, a little, but the only things I've held onto religiously throughout my whole divorce, and moving a million times, are my craft supplies and tools.
In answer to how to deal, for me, it's usually easy, as I've been picked on and bullied since I was 6 or 7. I do get injured a little when someone directly insults something I've made, because my craft projects are like children to me. It usually doesn't bother me if they think the concept is stupid, if I've pitched it to them, just when they are rude about the finished product.
But I also come from an artistic family, so I am different. But what I would do is be more private about it, at home, and if they see the finished product and like it, fantastic. If not, too bad, so sad, they didn't get it. No matter. I also like the idea of gifting them with your 'oddball' projects, b/c they have to say thank you, and act like they like it, even if they don't!!

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

My mom was the same way when I made my spoon pendants!Happy
But I dont let it bother me,I have a great husband whos crafty too,so he encourages me to do great stuff and I love him for that so much.
He even learned to embroider and he comes with me to felting camp every year and makes amassing embroidered,felted rags for our room. Im proud of him.
My mom says mean stuff about my recycled crafts sometimes,when she thinks its "junk", but when I made my doily stenciled shirts she asked me to make one for her too.
Shes a great knitter so when I knit something she thinks its too simple or that I should make it some other way,but I guess those are just advices said in a not so nice way.
So I guess people do see things other way,where not the same.
Just make your mom something awesome and she will love it.Find something in her stile.I make my mother goose related stuff,because I know she loves gooses.
The most important thing is ,dont let this bring your creativity down.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

I'm gonna tell u that when I was like 13, I used to singin the choir, to paint, to draw, to dance and to cook... and I stopped ALL OF IT, just because my parents said I did it all awfully =S... I was so depressed that they had to pay a shrink 3 years later and it was all their fault =S... time passed by (10 years) and I got my actual job and met my best friend in life, and she was oh, you can sing? oh, you can draw? WOW THAT'S AMAZING and she started flattering my mom because she had such an amazing daughter... and I started doing my stuff again and it gave me peace of mind... then I met my boyfriend and since I told him my sad story, he has been my biggest fan! And since he shows off my stuff to my family, I have a fan club named FAMILY (LOL! it's a metaphore) sometimes strangers have to introduce you to your family in a way they don't understand you (do you know what I mean?)

Sometimes you are not able to find what YOU WANT OR NEED at home... but it's simply because nobody is borned with a complete knowledge of life, and parents only do what they think it's the best... eventhough they don't stop themselves to think about your emotions =S.... I suggest you to give them a chance, because they already had their lifes and their experiences and now it's your turn to make your own path! It doesn't matter what they think about your creations, as long as YOUR creations give YOU peace of mind, the first thing you have to do is to accept yourself just the way you are, so that you can make others see how fantastic you are =D. And don't waist your time as I did because I believed them and they were wrong in that one=S... Never give up! Those three words are magic in life =D.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post

Ya, it seems like you'll always find people who like a few things you do, not everything, guess things would be pretty boring & lame if we all liked exactly the same stuff. I agree w/ lotsa what every1's already said & can only add this: don't let one person's criticism keep you from doing something that you enjoy; years down the road you will regret not AT LEAST giving it a shot. If your fam doesn't understand certain aspects of your craftiness & arts, then I'd say-"Oh well", and show it to those people who do. That way you will get feedback from people who will really look at your work & appreciate it. And that's the nice thing about groups like this. Do what you love, you'll be happy & your fam should be happy for that.

Edit Delete
Moderate: Hide this post


Reply