Dad Problem

Ok. I want to start belly dancing, but my dad believes it's slutty. I've done research, and actually that is 1970's steriodtypes. (Don't comment on my spelling) How can I get him to let me at least try? I can't wait till I'm out of the house because I won't be for around 8 years.

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4 replies since 23rd July 2012 • Last reply 23rd July 2012

It's hard for people to get past a lot of pre-conceived notions that things like that are slutty so I can imagine your dad especially doesn't want to think of his daughter doing something that is portrayed as very sensual and sexy. I think that if you explain to him that it is more of an art and more of a beautiful dance than a skanky one, and tell him why you want to try it, he'd be more likely to agree. I did Polynesian dancing for a couple of years and all the movement in the hips was considered risque, but it was actually really fun and took a lot of work and practise. I have a friend who pole dances and when a lot of people find that out they think it's slutty, but she's really amazing and it takes so much strength and talent that you have to admire it.
Just try to explain to your dad and hopefully he'll understand Happy

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Explain the benefits... It is an amazing workout I'm sure, it improves dancing skills through rhythm and isolation, its a great way to express yourself through performance art and the community you'll be joining will a safe and supportive way of socializing. 'What kid gets in trouble from hanging around belly dancers?' 'Better then having free time to get into mischief' etc... And if he's still being unreasonable remind him your belly doesn't have to show to belly dance.

And no one can stop you from learning on your own. Youtube is amazing for any skills you want to learn... it wont be as good as working with someone but its a good place to start.

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I'm sorry that your father doesn't approve of this activity. But being as you are so young I think going against your father on something he is uncomfortable with you doing is not OK. You need to respect your parents and understand that they are coming from a place of love. Your father is trying to protect you and when you're 12 years old it's important for a father to do everything he can to preserve your innocence.

I know Disney is now showing a lot of shows where kids are constantly going behind their parents back to do things that they know they aren't supposed to and the end result the parents are made to look stupid or are supposed to learn to trust their kids. But, it's not really the correct message. Parents can only trust their children when their children show maturity and respect and a child who is manipulative is hardly trustworthy. Children need to trust that their parents are doing what is best for them and they need to respect their parent’s decisions when it comes to doing things that aren’t age appropriate. I know you’d like to believe your father is stereotyping against the dance but it simply isn’t an appropriate dance for a 12 year old to be doing. Your father wants you to be safe and to not become a target to sexual predators so please don’t go against his wishes and do this behind his back. When you’re an adult you can make your own decisions about whether or not it’s something to do but as long as you are a child and living under your father’s protection you need to respect his wishes.

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Hey there =) (not sure whether u still need an answer since it's 10 months ago now...)
Not sure if I can help, but there is one very important thing to know about dancing: every dance can be slutty, but only if you let it!
What you have to do is learn to dance without looking cheap. There are different genres of belly dance, so u can try and pick one that isn't provocative. U can also choose a costume that's more covered than say a belly dancing bra. Since ur quite young you could perhaps get a top with long sleeves. U don't even have to show ur tummy while dancing, if u can wear a tight top underneath. And getting a long flowing skirt will cover up the rest.
Every move u dance, u can dance with ur own expression: elegant, sensual, energetic, pretty...what ever u like, so no nead to make it look slutty.

I'm sure ur dad is just worried about u showing too much skin and being reduced to some sex symbol or something like that. However here are some good reasons for belly dancing despite of it being a very feminine way of dancing:

- it's a healthy way of workout that will make the body more flexible and give u a good posture
- it's not just mindlessly shaking body parts, it's techniques that take practice and skill
- it's a good way of learning to accept and be proud of ur own body (so definately better than reading womens magazines and watching models on TV)
- it even trains the brain, since the movements require concentration and muscular control
- it is mainly danced among women, so no need to be afraid of getting exposed
- it is creative like any other dance form

If he still doesn't want you to do courses you can still look up moves on youtube, and who will mind u dancing in ur room? ur not likely to invite loads of people to watch, are u.
I myself started dancing at 16. which I think was a good age for me, so be patient ;) there's no hurry u can always start, whenever it suits u.

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