Unemployment Woes

Right now I'm just writing what I'm feeling down. It may not make sense and it may seem silly but right now I'm fuming.

As some have you on here may have recently experience, unemployment is a b*stard!! I've been unemployed for about 4 months only because my University course ended. I do not yet wish to, nor can afford to take up a Postgraduate degree. In any case I want to get some work experience behind me so that in a year or two's time (if I were to do a Postgrad course) I won't be struggling to find work like I am now.

This may sound like it's coming out of the mouth of a spoiled brat but I don't care. I DON'T like being unemployed, I genuinly WANT to dfind work, but it's getting to the point when my mum comes home from her job that most days she's having a go at me about it. Today she's moaning at me because I haven't gone round looking for shop work as most places are looking for Christmas staff, tbh I hadn't even thought of it, a fair point and I said that I will go into town on Thursday and go into all the shops there and ask. I got a b*llocking because I didn't look in Sept (when most companies advertise for Christmas staff).

Then she said ooohh Sept you said the grad schemes open blah blah blah. Yes they do, the ones that I am looking to do don't make it easy to apply for the scheme you want and I'm trying to figure it out. I only got a 2:2 so many Grad Scheme doors are closed for me.

It's depressing enough being on the dole and out of work. I hate staring at the four walls in my home. I hate being so unproductive and the fact that people are taking on candidates with much more to offer then me relly gets me down.

I really am trying my best to do what I can, but it depresses me further that I get moaned at when my mum comes home. It really puts me down and makes me feel like I have nothing to offer and nobody wants me.

I think all of this might be driving me into a depression. I must admit my motivation has been lacking recently. I just hate sitting at the computer all the time, because all these applications forms and job listings/advertd are online!!!

One company refused to take my CV and said that I had to apply online... I really really really hate it!!

Sorry but I needed to get this off of my chest.

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40 replies since 5th October 2010 • Last reply 5th October 2010

Lolly, I totally understand how you feel (well kind of). I recently went onto the third year of my degree and was looking for summer work before I came back (I've worked every summer since I was 15) and as I stayed in a flat in the city of my study I found it impossible to find employment. I wasn't looking for a job specific to my degree so I was one up on you there, but everywhere was permanent work and I handed my CV in anyway only to be turned away because they can see that my uni course is 'ongoing'. Therefore I was skint before I even started back at uni. Getting up and searching for jobs everyday does get irritating and the tiredness you get from doing nothing is just as bad as doing a hard decent days work. That is coming from someone who used to do 10 days straight on split shifts in a hot kitchen! Getting in at 6am and leaving at half 9 in the evening.

All I can say is PLEASE keep looking. I hate all the people who go on the dole just because it pays more than some full time jobs (that is how f****d up our country is). I personally would hate to do that because I know I could do better so I really do send lots of hope and cuddles your way.

Things will start looking up and I too got grief from my parents about not having a summer job. Just let it go over your head because you're old enough for god sake! You know how to live your life, it's not like you aren't trying. Just as long as you know you're trying your best. x

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Also, I know it sounds ridiculously silly but you can be over-qualified for some jobs. McDonalds don't hire many people who have been to college - friend of mine was studying at college and got turned away for this reason (and you have a uni degree, what does that say?!)

I think this is because they know that you aren't going to stay for long and will leave as soon as an opportunity comes up.

Don't say 'only got a 2:2', that's brilliant!! So well done! Stop putting yourself down girl :p Hehe.

ALSO (sorry to blab on :p), have you tried looking for jobs further away from home? Sounds like you could do with a bit of space? Happy

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Thanks, I just had another row with my mum, she's comparing me to others. A guy that we know goes to Uni in Plymouth, he's finished his course and is going travelling soon, he's already had some offers in retail and stuff and my mum had a go at me because he's only been back home for a little bit and has already found something.

My Uni friend has been in a job for about a month or 2 as well.

Maybe I should broaden my horizon but it's like I feel bad enough about the situation I'm in and desperatly want out, I don't need the only close person in my life to be unsupportive. Me and my mum used to be close but to me I feel like she is driving a wedge inbetween us and we argue more and driving eachother apart. I'm really starting to dislike her as a person...

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I go Plymouth uni!

Moving on... You really just have to persevere hun!

Times will be hard with your mum because she only wants whats best for you and probably thinks the best way to help is to motivate you. Comparing you to someone else isn't nice though Happy

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Don't worry, she can't drive a wedge between you if you don't let her. ;)

What I mean by that is to step outside yourself and listen to her comments as if she's giving that advice to some one you know, rather than to "you" in particular. Does what she say make sense? Do you think maybe you're just "touchy" because you want so bad to get out and do something but maybe you're afraid of trying new things?

I know how hard it is to quit one job (your schooling is your job) and move on to something new that you're not familiar with. I procrastinated for MONTHS once because I was afraid of branching out into a new job and not being any good at it.

Just listen to her advice and if it doesn't help, just file it away. She's your mother and she LOVES you. Probably over her own life. I doubt she'd ever say something to intentionally hurt you.

Just remember. There probably isn't anything you're going through that your mom hasn't experienced in some form or another. She's probably just acting on the advice she wishes she had gotten when she was your age. ;)

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Dessah thanks for your advice, I would agree with most of what you say. I HATE myself for being in this situation and I probably am more touchy then usual.

I am applying for things I want to do (HR/Admin) I've also been applying for banks for cashier type jobs too. I guess I should branch out a bit more though, maybe take on a retail job for a bit whilst applying for my dream job on the side?

The only thing I dissagree with is the last bit, she's never been out of work, she went from job to job when she was younger. The only time she was out of work is when she had my sister and me. She managed to get another when I started school no problem and she has been in that place ever since.

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BTW: She came in and apologised. She didn't think she was comparing me to this guy, she didn't mean it to come out like that. I did tell her it felt that way and she said sorry... we are ok now but I don't think it'll be too long before we have anoter arguement. Sometimes I really do wish I could just move out because we can clash really badly.

But thanks Dessah, you always know the right thing to say.

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Lolly my love I hear what you're saying and AGREE COMPLETELY!

I graduated from Reading with a 2:2 degree. I have had one job lasting 3months since! I try hard to find work but now I'm of the mentality that I never will and its making me feel quite ill.... it's why I started to craft.

If it's any help... I think we live in the same county have you though about giving in your CV to Hertford job agencies. They found me alot of work during the summer when I was at Uni and they don't just limit you to Herts.

AND there is a free job fair I'm going to this Friday where you can network with companies and give in your cv. http://www.gradjobs.co.uk/ It's in London so you'd just have to find your tube fair and it's not limited to if you just have a 2:1! Network rail accept 2:2s btw and my sister works for them and is very happy!

I wish you all the luck though! At the moment I think I'm going to be content to just do shop work till the recession sorts itself out. :'(

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I've been out of work for 17 months. I got fired from my job of 7.5 years because of my Etsy shop. After that I sunk into deep depression and wasn't able to even look for work. I went bankrupt and lost my home. I'm 32 and live back at home. My mom is on my case because I don't have a job, but I've applied at over 100 places and have had 6 interviews and I haven't had a single job offer. The economy still sucks despite what politicians have to say about the matter. I'm currently going through a State agency that helps people with disabilities find work. I've had all the necessary qualifying evaluations, but haven't heard back from them yet, but I understand these things take time. I keep applying, but I can't make someone hire me.

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Woah Kiddo! Because of your etsy shop? That's crazy! Happy

Sad times for you! Happy I have a disability too I sometimes wonder if it might be that which sometimes stops me from even getting an interview... of course employers would never admit that.. but hey! Chin up and all that...:S

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Oh, then she's steering you in the only way she knows. (By expecting you to just be able to do what she did) Since she doesn't know what it's like to be out of work, you shouldn't expect her to know the right things to say right now. Happy

And really, there are no "right words to say". This is your problem, really. Not hers. You know what you need to do. And you know HOW to do it. It just takes time. She could give you all the best advice and encouragement in the world...but it won't help you get interviews.

Next time she makes you mad for giving her "advice", just remember that no matter what she says, it will not affect your actual job status. So, to just keep the peace, say, "thanks for your advice, Mom. I'll keep it in mind". That way you allow her to feel like a "good advice giving mom". She just wants to help, and if you let her THINK that she is, it will be a lot easier for you. lol

Just focus on what you have to do.

But, don't throw out all her advice. Just because she hasn't been jobless, doesn't mean that her many years of living hasn't given her some type of knowledge on the subject. ;)

I'm glad ya'll made up. Mamas just want what's best for their child. She may seem like she's mad, or fed up with you, but I'm sure it's more like she's mad and fed up with your SITUATION and wishes that things were easier for YOU. ;)

By the way, I've been counseling my own mother since I was 8. She's seriously nuts sometimes, so I've had a lot of practice. lol

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People don't know about my disability unless I tell them, but I'm sure the social services agency that I've interviewed with twice and sent 2 or 3 dozen resumes to knows about it because they work closely with my last employer. I was naive and thought that it was ok to be open about having a mental illness and the truth is that the vast majority of people just aren't ready to accept people like me. So, my last employer knew and people talk. I just hope this agency is able to help me find something.

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When I married my husband he had finished his college courses in computers and it took him almost three years to get his foot in the door for that field. He worked with his step dad's catering company, Taco Bell, and Burger King before that. But the moron did something stupid and LOST that job. He has something else in the same field but it makes much less. We're screwed on bills this month. Whatever little money I make from my etsy gets us necessities like toilet paper and diapers.

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Ha! Abbyka...we have cloth diapers for those times. When things are going good, we use the diapers in lieu of paper towels! ;P

Sooo don't come share dinner with us if you're weak stomached! We figure, they're clean...and it's OUR baby's butt, soooo whatever! lol

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