So sick and tired

Seriously i was watching a Youtube video earlier about some actress. And basically what happened was like this radio presenter, comedian whatever he was and he was ranting on about this film called "Precious" i dont know how many people have seen it but it has a rather large girl in it , who plays Precious. And he basically made a comment about her saying how she only got that role in the film or whatever basically because she was "obese" and thats the kind of person they wanted for the film and hes sick and tired of people going on about her like shes now some celebrity she wont ever be asked to be in any other films ect because of her size.
Like the reason im moaning is because , why are people so god damn judgemental ? >.< it frustrates me majorly. Like one the guy wasnt the greatest looker hes old and quite fugly to be honest. And also wether you are a celeb or not you are still going to be effected after hearing a comment like that, and my point is no matter who you are , in a way you are going to be slightly hurt after someone has said something like that about you. People say things that ar supposed to be funny and then there is just crossing the line. Its a serious subject you cant just go around calling people "Too Fat" Cos me as one of those people being called fat wasnt nice at all. I spent the majority of my teens being called fat constantly under the roof of my own home. And it had serious side effects like i stopped eating properly for weeks and months on end,i became so unhealthy and very ill. I honestly think some people just dont give a dam about what they say about or to people. What do you guys think . Lemme knowHappy

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15 replies since 18th May 2010 • Last reply 18th May 2010

It sounds like sour grapes - she's nominated for an oscar, he's having a whinge on youtube! I know what you mean though. So what if she got the role because she looked a certain way, I'm sure she wasn't the only plus size girl to go for the part and she must have been up to the role as she was nominated for an Oscar (I think). Its great that she got the role as its not every day that films producers step outside their comfort zone. Also I think her co-star was also up for an Oscar so between them they deserve praise. Also I remember some of the coverage from the Presidential elections and heard how some people didn't care what Obama's policies were, they just didn't want a black man running their country. So she was also up against all of that shit too. Good luck to her.

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Yeah it pissed me off to a certain degree too, It was Gabourey Sidibe, the girl that beat out about 500 other girls for the part, for which the story was written for an obese teen aged girl. And it was Howard Stern who went on about her size. Unfortunately, he's kinda right about her maybe never getting another movie gig because of her size and only because of the Hollywood stigma of only casting skinny wenches in movies as such. I have nothing against other actress or actors because I do have my favorites, and who doesn't but that's the sore reality of how the human image is so-called supposed to be portrayed to get anywhere in life such as being a celebrity and getting roles in any movie. Personally I have never seen the movie, and only because of my preference for certain genres or story based movies, I'm not all that pressed about wanting to see it.
I do agree with you kellbear that people shouldn't be judgmental and someone would have their feelings hurt to hear someone speak of them that way, sorry to say that people like Howard Stern don't think about their hurtful words before they come out their mouths. Jamie Foxx supposedly retaliated on Sidibe's behalf pretty much defending her right to be an actor just like anybody else who has the talent, so they had a radio talk show war going on, but I haven't heard much more about it. So I'm thinking it was just one of those things too where they had to have their little tiff with each other to get ratings. I don't listen to either one of them, from what I hear in the news Stern is another Rush Limbaugh, can't stand him either. Now I love watching the Wendy Williams Show and one of her hot topics mentioned that Gabourey was congratulated or something on the movie and her supposed response was "I guess I should say thank you." Now you have to wonder why she would have responded like that..it could be either because of Stern and his big mouth or the Hollywood glitz has turned her sour already. Hmm, tsk, tsk to you Stern and Gabourey and whoever else is negative on the subject!!

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I've never seen this Youtube video nor seen the film "Precious" but I can certainly understand and agree with your point. I am a very overwight girl, I'm not totally unhappy about it as such, I want to lose weight but because I want to be a healthier person and enjoy myself a bit more, not because I'm being bullied into it. But it really does feel like a knife being stuck in your heart each time you hear someone talking this way. The thing that I don't get is when people say "just stop eating" because that can encourage anorexia and bullmia in people. Not only that, no-one can just stop eating, food is a part of human survival. I know it probably doesn't sound as good out loud as it does in my head, but that's the way I see it, people can always go cold turkey on alcohol, cigarettes and drugs as they are not essential for human survival. Besides, if it was so simple to just tell fat people to eat healthier then the world wouldn't have issues with obesity. What I'm trying to say is that obesity is an underlying mental issue where we are not able to maintain a healthy relatoinship to food, in a sense it's like the extreme opposite to anorexia and bullimia?

But it's not right to go around saying that she'll never have another job due to her weight and that sort of stuff, we are all human beings and we all deserve to be treated with some degree of respect!!

You can see I'm somewhat passionate on this situation, I've always said that no-one will understand the position of a larger person unless they have been one and that too goes to those that are alcohol-dependant and drug-dependant!!

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Yeah, i think it really does all boil down to people just being inappropriate and just not caring about what they say to people. I had a great deal of respect for that guy he's a funny dude, but its one of those things i find myself being quite touchy about. Its going to sound harsh but the girl probably knows she is quite big..i don't think she needs people reminding her. Its a serious matter. Like hope to god it never happens again, but like someone quite a while ago made dumb ass comments about some girls video on Youtube saying how she was so damn ugly and shes too fat she shouldn't be making videos and the next day she killed herself :|

Im not all that big now i only weigh like 8 stone but its a touchy subject for me and always will be i i think. I was quite a chubby teenager and then i constantly had someone reminding me of this. And it got to a point where things were really bad. At that age as if things aren't difficult enough there are so many things going on when you are 13-16 its all so crazy. I lost a lot of weight through feeling like crap not because i went on a diet. I stopped eating for a long time, eventually my stomach shrunk and now i can only eat so much, so yeah on the plus side i don't actually put on weight but on the down side im not actually very healthy at all :/ I get stomach pains ect. And people that do eat a lot are going to put on weight, and to be honest they should be happy with the size they are. Its nothing to be ashamed of at all. There are rather large women out their who have very good jobs and get payed so much. I just wish people would look into these things before judging so badly. I think the only time you really need to worry about your weight it when you have realised you can no longer fit through your house door or get out of your couch without struggling lol.

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Well, people are mean. We (all of us) say things that are inappropriate and could possibly hurt someone's feelings. I'm not sticking up for Howard Stern. I think he's very lude and quite disgusting. But I also believe that we shouldn't cry about being called this or that. Being politically correct, and watching our tongue every minute is ridiculous! We're not allowed to call a retarded person retarded. It's mentally handicapped. (like that's any less offensive) and we can't call a black person black, they are African Americans (whether or not their family actually originates from Africa.) You can't say this or you can't say that. It's stupid. She's fat. So what. Are we to close our eyes and say, girl, you look like a perfect size 2!

If we can all just own up to our shortcomings and admit that there are NO perfect people. I think everyone would be a lot happier. It would be a lot easier to say what you're thinking without "offending" someone. I've been called names, and picked on...and it hurt. But you've just got to grow up and get over it. I'd much rather someone say it like it is than try to sugar coat the truth.

PLEASE NOTE!!! I'm not condoning disrespectful behavior. While I do believe that you should be able to speak your mind, I also feel that you should be kind and not mean on purpose. ;)

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Just on a side issue - being overweight or obese doesn't automatically mean your unhealthy. My bf has had that a lot - he's around 20 stone but he's probably healthier than many people who are apparently a healthy weight. He doesn't smoke, he barely drinks and he cycles everywhere. We both have our share of naughty food but we also have a lot of veg and have our own allotment so grow our own. Also because I don't eat meat he barely does either and says he doesn't miss it. But still people make assumptions. I think some people are naturally larger.

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With all of that said, especially what Arty said, there is a right way and a wrong way to say things without sugar coating what you say. And if what is being said is fact, then one should take it in consideration only if it's not judgmental.
I have the common sense to know that not all obese people are that way because of the way they eat. It could be a many things why they have the problem, mostly medical. So yeah, to say stop eating is not the answer and rather stupid to say to anybody. You eat live, but of course there are some that live to eat and surprisingly, not all of them are over weight.
It's a shame that too that we have to watch say, but I would only censor myself around young children and some grown ups out of respect, but anybody else, I'm going to tell you exactly what I think and you can take it however you want.
And about the African American thing, I hate that. I am black American, I'm pretty sure none of my more recent ancestors ever set foot on African soil, not all black people came from Africa. I don't know much about history, as a matter of fact, that was my most hated and worst subject, but come on. Now Charlize Theron, a white woman who I love as an actress, can be called an African American; she' s actually from Africa.

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Dessah - It does depend in the context that someone is being called fat, just like racist remarks. So long as the statement isn't made in a viscious and spiteful context then I have no problems with people saying I'm fat, I say it about myself often enough. We are not saying that we should be in denial about who we are and I agree that holding back your tounge and being politically correct all the time is ridiculous. I think what we are are saying is that we (as larger people) dislike the negative attributes being attached to us, not all fat people are unhealthy, lazy, ugly or talentless. Although this is what happens in all stereotypical groups, not something that is solely branded on fat people.

The thing with stereotyping is that, although we hate to admit it, there is probably a little part in all of us that does it, consiously or subconsciously (excuse the rubbish spelling btw!!) and it isn't going to go away. As much as I hate the judgemental attitudes of others, I guess it is something that we have to put up with - to a point!! I do not excuse or condone mental and physical bullying on ANY stereotypical basis.

Arty KitKat - That's very true, it's something else I dislike. I don't really cycle and excersize as much as I used to but I don't smoke and very rarely drink. I could do with balancing my diet a bit, I don't eat much in quantity but probably the quality of my food is probably not the best. That being said I'm about 20 stone and I don't understand why I am so huge, when you see these programmes like "you are what you eat" and their eating pattern is awful and I think if I ate like that I wouldn't fit into my blinking house!!

Creativemind - Typically Creativemind most people's issues are to do with their relationship with food and behavioural patterns, which is why I feel it is so important that the NHS make things like weightwatchers free, because of the group therapy you recieve after the weigh in. I know it's only £5 a week, but it's £5 I haven't got, particularly with the recession and stuff. Once people tackle the mentality around food then I think it will make a significant impact... suprisingly not that many people are overweight due to medical issues, though it's important never to entirely rule it out as people are oveweight as a medical cause... Like you have said about the whole "African American" thing, I think we are basically expressing the impact of stereotyping and the judgemental attitudes of others. As much as we all hate it and it is wrong we all do it and it will never go away. I don't mind being called fat, I know what I am, but the characteristics that are assosiated with being fat (like kellbear said of the actress) I cannot stand.

Kellbear - It really is nothing to be ashamed of. Most of the time I'm a happy person within myself, even if I am a size 22/24 (UK) and weigh 20 stone. I wouldn't mind losing some weight but I don't want to give into the societal pressure and damange myself in order to fit in with society's acceptance of beauty - no offence :S

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Yeah i understand that. Its a nasty world out there. And we just have to hold our tongues sometimes.
Lolly.Bot- No offence taken, trying to fit in with society wasnt the problem at all. My friends made me comfortable in my own skin. I was an oddball still am tbh lol and always will be but up until the point where i had to listen to my stepdad making nasty comments about my weight everyday it just got too much. I began to feel uncomfortable with who i was and what i looked like.

Dessah H. - Yeah its a society where you cant call people certain things like big people fat. Thats not so much the problem. Its the fact that he broadcasted it. He had the cheek to say how she would never be in another film. Where in fact she has already been asked to ect. I dont know i believe people should be able to speak their mind but only on certain levels cos there is having freedom of speech and then there is just crossing the line. There are boundries and so many people just start walking on thin ice not giving a toss about what they say. :/

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I'm lucky in a sense that - like you - my friend's make me confortable in my skin to, and I never really got bullied that much at school for it. I got bullied a little but it was only name calling and it wasn't really that I was overweight it was more-so the fact that I appeared to be a soft touch, till I punched one of the guys in the nose and poured a bottle of Coke over him and my his shirt go see-through!!

It must be awful that you got comments in your home environment, the place where you are meant to feel the most safe and secure!!

Like we've been saying, it's not about the denial on who we are. I'm happy to accept that I am fat, overweight, obese and all other terms used but it is when these terms are used in a nasty context.
I'm glad that actress has already been asked to do something else as it will be nice to see larger actors and actresses as there aren't that many.

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I really wanted to see that film, I heard it was great! It's true that it's going to be harder for her to get other roles now but I don't think he should bitch about her getting the part just because she's large - how often do larger actresses actually get that opportunity? It's got to be so much harder to get by in Hollywood if you're big, so I say fair play to her!

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you know what, she was amazing in that film, there is NO SUCH THING AS FAT, she is georgous and she embraces who she is.

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She was nominated for an oscar for christs sake! Wha? She didnt do THAT by being fat. *nods* I also loved that monique (i think thats her name) who played her mom, won for supporting actress. She Deserved It. She was scary & sad in that movie, did awesome. Shes a full-figure girl also, so ha.

But i think the same (about tabloids not being carful with what they say & it negatively hurting people), and i think THATS why all that bad crap happened to Britney spears a while back. She was so ambushed, backlashed, and stabbed in the back for everything she did. Everything! And the tabloids horrible rants about her, led to her insanity ...and eventually to her head shaving. :/ If they just left her alone, and stopped stalking & abusing her, none of thar crap woulda happened. The tabloids are brutal people, and i dont think they have the right to abuse people the way they do. Because it does affect them.

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Unfortunately we live in a crazy world that tries to dictate what we should look like, what we should eat, how we should dress etc.......The only people who make money are the advertisers and the clothing manufacturers. The idea that we have to fit in creates a false society. In the alternative scene I have many friends who are plus 20 (english size). They are beautiful individuals who don't give a damn and boy can they dance! Different cultures embrace different things. In many Asian cultures it is good to be bigger as this shows wealth and that you have enough to feed yourself and family. In Jamacan culture and Hispanic big bums are seen as an asset. Western culture seems to be hung up on being skinny at the moment. Bring back the forties and fifties where women were real women with curves and boobs. Don't be dictated to. Let's make a stand against streotyping and what I see as bullying.

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