who else feels like they will be alone forever?

raise hands...meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

somehow I think my mom may of been right about Gio, the 1st and only man I have been in love with. He broke up with me because my visa ran out and I had to move back to Canada, we didn't break up right away, it was actually three years long distance. sigh. But I have never felt that way since, I was 20 then, I am 28 now.

I just got out of a relationship- I broke it off. I think I really wanted to be in a relationship so I overlooked some things a bit, but in a way I guess he wasn't Gio, or what I was used to. I really tried at the relationship I did. But after a year and a few months, it just wasn't working.

Now I don't have a job (got sick, lost it) and no relationship, in my small hometown. In some ways I do think our society puts too much pressure on us to settle down.

What do u think?

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48 replies since 1st November 2009 • Last reply 1st November 2009

i do and it doesn't help cause i'm a 21 year old vigin and feel like i'm gonna die a virgin i haven't had a real realtionship since freshmen year of high school and my dad is already started in on the i just want you to fall in love and get married but kinda hard to do when yo can't get a date

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I was single until I was nearly 30. I didn't mind though, I had a great time anyway. I did have the ocasional boyfriend but nothing lasted because I broke up after a while.

What bothered me a LOT when I was single was people telling me "to hang in there" like I was some sad and incomplete person. Some people would even say things like "oh you must be so lonely without a boyfriend". Yuk, like my happiness depends on having a boyfriend.

Anyway, I love having a boyfriend and living together. But I was also very happy when I was single.

Interstellar I'd say embrace your virginity (or sell it on e-bay ;) ) It's quite unique. And at the risk of being banal: you still have 10 fingers eh?

Michelle, I hope you'll get professional help soon, those waiting lists are big disgrace. I can imagine it's quite difficult to find a job too if you're not feeling well Happy

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Yeah I feel that too. And I used to be fine with it, which is the worst part for me. Before I met Tim, I figured that I'd probably have a string of boyfriends, nothing serious. I want a kid so I'd have to go with the sperm donor angle, and that's fine, we can make it on our own. Then me and Tim got together and it seemed like we could actually do this stuff, like get married and have kids, and my plan changed. But especially now I've had time to think about our relationship, it was pretty horrible, and we couldn't have brought a child into that. And I suppose it's because he kept telling me I'd never find anyone as good as him...and jesus, if it's no one as good as HIM, I'm doomed to a life of horrible men, right? I've got a new boyfriend now and I'm absolutely crazy about him but I know it's not gonna last forever because of little things like, he doesn't really share emotions with me, which is fine now but obviously not fine on a bigger scale. And I've been talking to people lately who all tell me that they do the same thing Tim did - after a while in a relationship, you just stop trying to impress the other person and stop caring so much. And that freaks me out. Which is why I've realised my life is probably going to be something along the lines of, Dramatic relationship after dramatic relationship, maybe a kid in their somewhere that'll make the dramatic relationships fewer but more dramatic, then eventually I'll become too old to be able to get guys for dramatic relationships, by which point my kid will be about a teenager and will have lost interest in me, then I'll have to go on dating sites just to get laid, and probably spend the rest of my days working or breeding. Hoorah!

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you know guys, we are strong women. Like everyone we have our worried but like kitten, we have discovered our patterns, awakened ourselves.

I really just want to thank you guys, I have come to consider you all as friends

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I like being on my own. I don't think I'd want to live with anyone again. Actually I don't think I could now, I don't like having to explain what I'm doing or where I'm going all the time. I wouldn't give up on relationships, I just think I'm better off in my own space. I think I want to have my cake and eat it lol

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you know, I am so happy being on my own. I like the freedom

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Problem is I can't sleep on my own. If I don't have someone to sleep next to me I have horrible nightmares all night and sleepwalk and stuff.

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really? how about a long pillow? or a pet?

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Knittin' Kitten: Michelle's idea of a pet might be a good idea, because it will also give you a bit of companionship.

Interstellar: You are not alone there, I'm 20 (21 in February) and I am also a virgin. I understand where you are coming from and all my NON virginal friends are like "it's no big deal" but it's like "easy for you to say, you're not a virgin!!" and I do feel like I will die a virgin also. But at the same time it is kinda unique for girls our ages to be virgin's. Put it this way, we are waiting for that special someone, who's just a bit lost right now? I haven't had a propery boyfriend because I can't seem to attract the men I'm interested in. If a man is interested in me, then usually I get too scared and run away. I think I build walls to protect my vulnerability and from my <3 being broken... but it leaves me alone.

Anywho I do like being single as well... many of my friends moan about their BF's or GF's or even their f*@k buddies... so I aint got to deal with all that drama, I can do what I want, when I want, where I want with whoever I want, not having to answer to anybody but myself!! Selfish? I know, but hey I don't care.

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actually I was a vigin till I was 18, but I was in a long term relationship and waited. No one can tell you what to do, all I can say is wait till the time is right, with the right person, when you are ready.

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Well I can't have a pet at uni, except the damn ladybirds in my room that actually ruin my sleep more, and at home I have a kitty but she's not very friendly.

Tried the pillow thing, doesn't work. I need to actually be able to reach out and touch a living person. It totally sucks and I don't know why it is. It also means that I get into the habit of sleeping with men just so I have someone to sleep in my bed (or I can sleep in theirs). But I have a boyfriend now so I don't have to do that any more - although he's as light a sleeper as me so if I roll over he wakes up, which then wakes me up...bleh.

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Happy

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Bleh... I guess I'll reluctantly raise my hand for this one.

I don't know. I've just never been the guy that girls go for. On top of that I've become quite masterful in alienating people very quickly. I guess I've kinda grown pretty much indifferent to the situation since it's been like this basically forever and I don't see it changing. I do get the occasional drunken oh-my-life-sucks-moment every now and then, but for the most part I'm accepting it.

I did have one real girl friend, but even that didn't last that long and ended quite horribly. Heh, so much so that my dad's been asking me whether it's affecting my perspective on the whole dating thing in general.

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you too eh? I am the same, alientating people or myself from them, I think I choose not to deal with the drama

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