Ok, so I tend to go on and on about things I'm worried about but it's not just a bit worried it's always a lot worried. When I was 10, my parents split up. My dad would come back and then leave again and my mum would have to tell me why. The times when he was back and I got home from school, if his car wasnt here then I'd freak out when he was just at work! When I was 14/15 I had a breakdown really. Bullies had made me so anxious and paranoid because they used to pick on everything I did and everything about me and would say things that would make me more paranoid like someone said something about me or whatever. I would walk around thinking everyone was laughing at me and walk with my head down watching my feet. I started to feel the same everywhere and I still do it now but it's never as bad but still happening. So I think it's down to that time, lots of things I should have said back but didn't. But there was no way of stopping my 'break down' because I wasn't aware that it was effecting me that way until I hit rock bottom.
I left college last year to go into working with animals and I was anxious at college because I didn't know if art was what I wanted to do. Then I was anxious that I needed a job and needed some way of getting into working with animals. So that side of things is sorted as most of you know with this course coming up. But then I worry about money, finding a job for now, finding a job as a dog groomer, relationships etc I question how I feel about things even when there's always a part of me that knows everything is alright. So what's up with me and how do I sort it!!!?
There is a place I can go to that gave me counsilling before, I just don't know if I could deal with bringing everything back up in detail when it's happened and that's it. So I just don't know how to fix it. It gets me really down.
thanks for reading xxx
sweetie, getting it out there is a great way to free yourself from Anxiety. Write it dome, talk to people, get it off your chest. You are following your dream. Run with it
I think i've calmed down a bit now that I've got some of it out lol and cuz of your reply, thank you
Anxiety disorders are REALLY hard to deal with. Tim has quite a severe one which means that he often freaks out for no reason, and he doesn't know how to handle it except just get one of his mates to help. Normally weed and alcohol help, but that's just him =P
That makes me worse 'OMG WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT?' lol and weed bores me.
Vices are no good, it just means I hide it away in that vice and then burst!!! Like when im hormonal. Today I feel ok, i got to the point where I'd tell myself to fuck off lol or the anxious thought, and then I'd be fine but then not dealing with it and thinking about it just makes it come back later much worse. I'm being all like 'positive energies positive energies'. I definetly know that I'm on this course and I will get help to pay for it from family and I might get a new job! I just need some structured way of dealing with it.
I know anxiety sucks. Im a up and low, like a rollercoaster. And after working all day, I am too tired to type
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