https://www.cutoutandkeep.net/projects/mouse-turd-cocktail • Posted by Pintester
Found mouse poop in half of my cupboards. Please kill me before the bugs and vermin do. My utensil drawers shave poop in them, which at first I thought was chocolate sprinkles. Luckily, I did not taste one to find out. So, I’m doing what I always do: Don’t get mad, get drunk. (Someone put that on a t-shirt.) CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES!
Found mouse poop in half of my cupboards. Please kill me before the bugs and vermin do. My utensil drawers shave poop in them, which at first I thought was chocolate sprinkles. Luckily, I did not taste one to find out. So, I’m doing what I always do: Don’t get mad, get drunk. (Someone put that on a t-shirt.) CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES!
Gather your ingredients. Or an approximation of them. Unfortunately, I drank all the rum last week during a particularly rough bout of alternately binge-watching HGTV and feeling sorry for myself because I don’t live in a swanky Manhattan apartment with custom vinyl wallpaper and a white leather couch that you’re not actually supposed to sit on. I had some pineapple rum left, but I didn’t think that would go with mint and chocolate, so I dug some brandy out of the back of the cabinet. That’ll do. Oh yeah– I didn’t have white creme de menthe either because we don’t go in for that classy shit around here. Mine is Leprechaun green. And I will add here that any cocktail I’ve ever made that had creme de menthe in it has turned out horribly wrong and also I despise cocktails with cream in them, especially white Russians, which make me dry heave a little just from thinking about them. So things are looking promising.
Combine everything but the chocolate sprinkles and shake. Because of the Leprechaun green creme de menthe, the mixed drink is, well, greener than the recipe would have you believe. (On the plus side, tomorrow I will have the pleasure of thinking back and trying to solve the mystery of what turned my poop green.)
Pour into a cocktail glass.
Garnish with the piece de resistance: chocolate sprinkles. First I tried just dumping them in and they sank to the bottom, so I had to float them on top of the drink with a spoon. I am that dedicated to making a gross reference to mouse turds, people.