The hat is not a lie
The cake, and the hat, is not a lie! Why knit this? Because how can you go wrong with chocolate cake? If it’s already on your mind, why not put it on your head, too?
Portal cake hat instructions:
Materials: 16″ Circular needle or DPNs, size 8.
Brown yarn, 1 skein.
White and red yarns, bits.
Gauge: I gotta be honest. I was not carefully monitoring this. I used plain ol’ Patton’s (100% wool) yarn from a big craft store and that’s about as technical as I got. It’s labeled as 5 sts/in or 20 sts per 4×4 inch or 10×10cm. If you’re using a big yarn, try a smaller needle or fewer stitches. If you’re using a small yarn, add (lots) more stitches. Just make sure in either case that you always have a multiple of 8 stitches so you’ll have 8 triangles when you reduce at the top. This gives you a nice visual reference to put your 8 cherries on.
Skill level: easy.
You’ll need to know cast ons, knit, knitting in the round, and reducing. You will also have to stitch the cherries on later (just like sewing!) and you will learn how to make an I-cord for the candle. Let’s start!
With brown, cast on 80 sts, or some multiple of 8. Big yarns might use 64 stitches, for instance.
If you’re knitting in the round, join now. As always, be careful not to twist!
Knit until the work is about seven (7) inches long.
*K2tog, K2tog, K6* Repeat between the stars seven more times. [Note: if you've cast on a number of stitches other than 80, time for some math. Your stitches were a multiple of 8, right? My multiplier was 10. 10x8 = 80. So k2 tog twice and count those stitches (4). Then knit and continue counting until you reach your multiplier number. At that point repeat. For me, it was k2 tog, k2 tog (4), then knit 6 (4+6 =10. See? 10x8 = 80. If you used 64 as one might with a larger yarn, you'd k2tog, k2tog (4) and then knit 4 (4+4=8 and 8x8=64). Science!]
*K2tog, K6* Do this 8 times. [Now your total number of stitches per repeat is your multiplier minus 2. For this pattern, that's 8.]
*K2tog, K5* 8 times. [Multiplier minus 3. In this pattern, that's 7. They'll continue going down by one stitch per decrease row.]
*K2tog, K4* 8 times
*K2tog, K3* 8 times.
*K2tog, K2* 8 times
*K2tog, K* 8 times.
*K2 tog* 8 times
Cut brown yarn and switch to white yarn.
Knit around once with white yarn.
At the end of the round, do not turn work. Slide work to the other end of the needle. We’re making your circle a flat row now.
Knit across row. This will cause your yarn to span all your stitches, and that’s ok. Pull snugly, and this will force the flat row to become a tube. We want this. This is called an I-cord.
Continue knitting across, not turning your work, and sliding the stitches across the needle for the next row of stitches until the white knitting reaches one-half your desired candle length.
Decrease 2 stitches by k2tog twice in the next row.
Continue knitting and sliding until your candle reaches the desired height. Cut yarn and pull tail through remaining stiches. Leave a tiny tail exposed at the top for the “flame”.
Cherries (make 8):
CO 3 sts with red yarn.
Slide work to end of DPN as if making an I-cord.
KFB into each stitch (6 sts total)
Move work to end of DPN and k all sts.
KFB in each stitch (12 sts total)
Move 4 sts to each of 3 DPNs and knit around.
Knit around once more.
Change to white yarn and knit around
If you wish a bulgier cream portion, increase 3 or 4 stitches as you knit around again. Otherwise, just knit one more round.
BO all stitches.
Sew cherries and cream puffs onto hat at even intervals. This is a computer-generated cake, after all, so do be perfect. The triangles made during the cake’s decrease should give a good guideline here. Wear with geeky or chocolatey (or both) pride.
sts = stitches
K2tog = Knit two together (decrease)
P2tog = Purl two together (decrease)
DPN = double pointed needle
KFB = knit into front and back of stitch (increase)