I hate my sibling.

So the title pretty much sums it up. I would like to add that by hate I literally mean LOATHE. Everytime I think of my brother <--- for lack of a better word, I feel sick to my stomach.

He's an a$$ to everyone; my parents, his girlfriend, me, my friends, the general public.

He's ignorant; he uses the "n" word, and he thinks that a woman's place is in the home cooking and making babies.

He's a loser; seriously, he's 25 and has never graduated from highschool, he hasn't had a job in 3 years, if he does get a job he loses it in a couple days AND he is attached to my parent's basement. Oh and the cherry on top is he snuck his girl-friend into their house in the middle of the night with all of her stuff and now she lives there!

He's selfish; the family computer has become his. He has locked it and the key board is so full of crumbs and pizza sauce that I don't want to touch it.

He plays the vicitm; everyone's mean to him, his boss was an a$$, the teachers in high school were out to get him, he lost his job because his girl friend needed support, no one ever does anything for him. boo-hoo.

And the worst part is he ALWAYS blames me/brings me into arguments. If my mom asks him to wash the dishes he always says "Why don't you ask Laura?", Can you wash the car? - Why can't Laura?, Don't be out late - do you tell Laura that?

I'm so tired of him blaming me and the world for all of his failures and I have not talked to the guy in years and I moved away to school and he still brings me into stuff. I just want to yell "Leave me out of it!"

I also hate how if I get in an argument with him about being a loser he will be like "You're ugly." He has the maturity level and mentality of a five year old. I seriously think he has an imbalance or something. If my mom asks him if he wants chicken for dinner he will yell "I already ate!" but if you dont ask he yells "You never make enough for me!"

Basically I hate his guts and I've always said that if one day he were to leave and just fall off the face of the earth and I would never hear from him again I would be very happy. I feel like a monster to say that I wouldn't be sad if he were to die but seriously I wouldn't shed a tear.

I honestly have never hated anyone before in my life. I'm the easiest person to get along with, I've never had an enemy, never had a fight in school, I'm quiet and polite and keep to myself, I hold doors open for strangers and get up to give my seat to an elderly person on a bus, but as soon as I'm face to face with him I feel like kicking the sh*t out of him... and this is coming from a girl who has never thrown a punch. I dont know how to fight but with him I'm willing to try.

I guess it's because I'm so tired of being bullied by him. My whole life he's been awful to me and I've had it. I've always been the type of person to walk away and say nothing if someone was ever mean because I would rather swallow my pride then fight. But I'm at a point that it's about to turn into a scene from Jerry Springer. Usually when siblings who don't get along reach adulthood they put their differences aside but even if he's 25 he hasn't reached adulthood. I seriously think it's still 30 years away. I mean the guy makes a stupid voice and mocks what people are saying if he doesn't like it. Come on! He's a joke that has gotten old.

So this very long rant is just to say that I hate my brother.

Anybody else have horrible siblings?

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14 replies since 13th April 2011 • Last reply 13th April 2011

Reply #1:

I have two brothers that I actually care about, but if I were in your situation, I'd send him a box of military-issue diarrhea gum (maybe send it to your mom to give it to him, or he could steal it from her since gum is a delicious treat to some people) as a "peace" offering. Then your parents can both remark about your thoughtfulness toward your brother, and laugh as he runs down the hall, failing to reach the toilet before brown-trou time.

That, or I'd just get a bunch of hackers to ruin his life, because good nerds have a lot of skill and your brother probably doesn't.

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Reply #2:

There is a lot I can relate to in your post. My younger brother and I were often at war, he was obnoxious and expected everyone in the family to just step in line with his whims and demands. if we didn't he would throw a fit or play martyr. he had no family loyalty and would often stay up to the later hours on the phone with people he just met to tell them I was a horrible person. I was told I had to get a job before college to help pay for things. I put out 20+ applications with no hits, and was nagged "why haven't you got a job yet?" (I finally did) he on the other hand had a expense paid summer of goofing around. he hand a car handed to him when he was 18, I had to wait till I was 21. to make matters worse my grandmother who HATES me, decided a used car wasn't good enough for him because he was going to start college and went out and bought him a new one! totally ignoring the fact I didn't have a car, was working hard and being responsible while he partied and racked up speeding tickets! then he met this totally ho-ho (not the Santa kind ;) and was willing to sacrifice everything to be with her, even if that meant it would ruin his life (he had only known he for a couple of weeks. she was horrible and just used him. I could write a book on how horrible he was. plus a lot was going on in my life to add the stress, three relatives died in a period of less the six months. my best friend decided that a guy she had just met was more important to her than being my friend and totally said screw you and dropped me on my birthday, this was a week after my Nana died. ugh, it was horrible.
anyway things have changed a lot since then, I am not going to say he still isn't demanding and obnoxious, but he has gotten a lot better. he started college and I think that the separation has helped everyone in our family. I was at the point that if he died I wouldn't care, now things are a lot better. the space really helped. I got in a really horrible car wreck a few months ago, and he dropped everything and drove six hours to see me.

things I can suggest.
don't stoop to his level. they love it when you retaliate because they know they are hitting a nerve. they crave your attention, because really deep down inside they know they are pathetic and they want to feel superior.

don't try to correct him on anything, let him go. by correcting him, you are paying attention to him. he craves attention (even the bad kind)you can do more damage to him by ignoring him than by correcting his ignorant or obnoxious behavior.

do your own thing. go out, have a life. don't follow in his footsteps by doing the same behavior. he can't say "well you don't have a job etc. so who is the loser now?" if you do. Plus you are showing that his behavior is not affecting your life.

a lot of this falls on your parents though. they need to come to the place where they need to stand up and put their foot down and kick him out. if and when they do it will be the best thing for him. If you feel like you are in a position where you can talk to them you should. Be very mature about it, don’t do things that would lower yourself to his level.
be the good kid. I know it's hard. but if you help out around the house and are responsible, you parents will notice. plus when he says "why can't she do it?" you can say "hey I already did such and such."
hang in there girl, it might be awhile, but all good things come to those who wait. feel free to write to me if you need someone to talk to, to let it out Happy hope this didn’t sound too cliche. I jus thave been where you are, and this is what I have found.

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Reply #3:

Scully-Anne that's awesome advice.
Lo hang in there.

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Reply #4:

That how my sister is to me, she moved out when I was 14 (I am now 21) and I can honestly say I don't miss her. She treated me like crap my entire life, there is a video from when I was 2 where she acted like she was giving me a hug, but all she wanted to do was steal my ball. I have no self esteem left and I am entirely convinced I am fat because she verbally abused me my entire life (probably would have physically too if it wasnt for the fact that I am stronger). I have a niece and nephew that she never lets me see unless she knows my fiance is coming along (she likes to hit on him) but even then I have still seen my 3 year old niece twice in her entire life. But the thing is you can't let it get to you. YOu have to know that in this case you are the bigger and better person, other wise it will eat at you day after day....

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Reply #5:

Thank Godness my brother is my best male friend
You shouldn´t feel bad for not caring about him because he doesn´t deserve it
JUst because you are bloodrelated doesn´t mean you are going to love him cuz he never tried to be a real brother to you
You just live your life, have fun, and achieve every goal you have cuz there isn´t better revenge that being sucessful and having a great life and ignore him ( it will be hard for you to ignore him but it will be the best)

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Reply #6:

I sounds allmost exactly like my little sister (21)

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Reply #7:

I sounds allmost exactly like my little sister (21)

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Reply #8:

this is like fate... i was coming on here to rant about the same kind of thing and came across this post straight away....

my sister who is only a year older than me, she is 25 and i am 24, is sometimes unbearable. she has always made me feel like a fat useless lump....

i moved out of the house we shared together and moved in with my boyfriend who she had never liked and has no reason not to like except that he doesnt put up with her crap.....

she moved in with us about 5 months ago because her bf broke up with her. since she has moved she has started trying to take over our home... refusing to pay money towards bills or food, and now has her new boyfriend staying here every single night of the week. she organises nights out with our mutual friend and never asks me to go...

my mom was always telling us not to do this and that for her, going so far as to get angry at us for doing things for her, yet last week she demanded that we go to the shop for her and when we didnt she went upstairs and rang my mom, who hen rang me screaming at me for not going, and since then i am being treated like an outcast. myself and boyfriend have always gone above and beyond for my mom and now she is making us feel like we arent welcome.

our water pipes burst last week and she kept coming to pick up my sister and bring her to her house for showers etc but never even asked if i needed to have one. at a family occasion last weekend she ignored us and then my sister asked were we going for lunch, we arrived at the restaurant and they werent there, so we went home and they passed us out on the road and never called or text to ask where we gonna come...

tomo is my bday and they are having a cake at my moms house later, but are making me feel like i shouldnt ask my boyfriend or that he isnt welcome... he is the only one who treats me with any respect or care and had made me feel like maybe i actually am worth something...

i am so tired of feeling like no matter what i do i will never be good enough... my sister is constantly making remarks about my weight, saying things like i smell, etc.... things that are so childish but after 24 years of hearing it make me feel like i am those things.

i just feel like i will never be free of these feelings. even when we go visit my bfs family i get given the cold shoulder. there is so much more i want to say about this but i feel like im rambling and what im writing isnt making much sense....

im so frustrated but totally feel your pain....

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Reply #9:

First of all, Annie Happy Birthday! I hope the day didn't turn out as bad as you thought it would. if it did may I suggest having a birthday take 2? maybe just you and your boyfriend going out for the night and doing stuff together, celebrating your birthday, and enjoying the guy that sticks by you through all the crap your family put you through. second, and I know this would be difficult, but kick your sister out. yeah sure, it might cause some hard feeling with your family for a while. but it already sounds like there is some issues going on, I mean how much worse can it get? you need to focus on YOU and your boyfriend. I feel your pain in some many ways. but the first step towards a better tomorrow is to be able to take care of YOUSELF today. you have every reason to kick your sister out, and if anyone complains you can say "look, she didn't pay the rent etc, etc. Right now things are overwhelming and I need to focus on getting my life straightened out before I can take on this drama" to soften the blow for your sister and mom, you might say (even if you don't mean it) that you would be willing to maybe take you sister back in the future, but as of right now you have too much on your plate. your sister is a big girl and she needs to move on. maybe she is jealous of you, I mean look who has a boyfriend and her own place? she is the older one, and yet she is calling mommy every time things don't go her way? kicking her out will help her grow up, and it will help your self confidence. standing up for yourself even on small issues can be a great boast to your morale. when you have confidence, you will feel like you can tackle anything. the people around you will be affected in positive way, and whether they know it or not will respond to you more positively too. I hope everything works out for you, feel free to write me if you want. again Happy Birthday!

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Reply #10:

Jeez... my brother acted like that also when he was younger (like ementary school), & i hated him (really hated/wanted to kill him) ...but he grew out of it & now hes 16 & the only one i trust/talk to in my family. But your brothers 25!!! WTF, if hes like that now, he will most likely NEVER change.

I know its harsh, but i think the best thing you could do is cut him out of your life as much as possible (since he's so hurtful towards you). Just keep in mind that when your older & get a place of your own... you wont have to speak to him or see him again. Maybe 1 day, when (if) he does grow up, you could rebuild your relationship. But for now, He chose the life he leads, and doesnt seem to want to change, so thats the best thing i think you could do.
I've had to do this with most of my family (for different reasons), & its really hard. But worth it in the long run, because u shouldnt have people that hurt u in your life. I feel your pain. Hang in there hun.

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Reply #11:

I wouldn't say I hate my sister. Passionately dislike is probably more appropriate. It's horrible to hear that your brother makes you feel this way. Although my relationship with my sister is not as bad, it makes you feel like crap and stresses you out when your family members are jerks. My sister is rude and obnoxious to my boyfriend of 5 years on a regular basis and then runs to my mum like a small child when he pulls her up on it. She is disrespectful to my dad and expects him to drop everything and ferry her everywhere in his car, she is rude to me and talks to me like am either a complete moron or a piece of dirt and literally rules the house with her whims and moods. She is a mini-me of my mother and a pain in my ass! I really hope that you can resolve this situation somehow, even if is just completely avoiding your brother. You could maybe try talking to your parents about how his behaviour is making you feel and try tackling him together. Big Hugs and good luck x

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Reply #12:

Unfortunately Lo, you cannot pick your family. I think the advice given by the others here is right, just hang on in there, pay no attention to him, and just try your best to get on with your life. I know its easier said than done, but maybe one day he will grow up (or not), but try not to let it change your plans in life, and you'll be the better for it.
Good luck!

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Reply #13:

I completely understand, but I have 5 siblings that I dont get along with. My second youngest sister is the biggest witch EVER. Im 32, shes 21 and just a miserable little.. witch. Im grown and have a family of my own while she lives with my mom (who is on disability) and drinks and parties on her dime. We had it out in february and she posted mean stuff on my facebook about me giving horrible christmas gifts (Ive never received a gift from any of them.. ever) that I had made. I made all of them hand knitted hats. HOW DARE I?! It took me forever to make those hats and I found out later that they just threw them away. After that, I told her and my other sister to stuff it and I wanted nothing to do with them. My mom hopped aboard their ship and I havent heard anything from any of my "family" since. Im not even sad really. Sometimes you just have to cut ties and move on. If they're going to treat you like crap, dont be around for them to treat like anything. That whole "blood is thicker than water" saying is crap. Surround yourself that really care about you.

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Reply #14:

Ha. Blood is thicker than water. My mum uses that expression all the time. I agree. Absolute crap.

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