Random Friend Rant

I have a friend who use to be like that. I just ignored her when she would get like that, but she acted that way when we were in junior high. I don't really know what changed her though. But it was annoying and I'm glad she stopped being like that.

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6 replies since 10th February 2011 • Last reply 10th February 2011

I suspect your friend has self-esteem issues and is trying to make herself feel better by pumping herself up.

I am a little disturbed though by you're not thinking your friend pretty based off of her weight and height. I didn't know only skinny tall girls could be considered attractive.

Could be me, but it sounds as if you don't really consider yourself her friend but lack a better word for it.

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I agree with pink, its not nice to say she is not attractive because she is over weight. I know many lovely big ladies, and I envy them. and I am superskinny(32-25-32)

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You certainly talk bad about her for her being your "friend." If you think she's so loud and annoying, tell her and maybe she'll change.
If she talks that much about getting guys, it's likely just a cry for attention, and she should see a therapist or find a better way of getting more positive attention.

As for being overweight and short, that describes some of the most charismatic, friendly women I've met. Tall & skinny doesn't automatically make a girl Miss Thing to everyone.

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Ditto with Monika, Michelle, Pinkweeds on the "overweight and short" - and even if you or anybody else don't think she is hot, doesn't mean that she can't think she is.

I've found that friendships can be weird. Sometimes it's a matter of compromising, or not. So if she leaves you feeling like crap, or agitated all the time... probably not the most healthy friendship. On the other hand, if you could get over/work through some things you hate about the friendship, then you could be okay.

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Going with the whole short and overweight thing.I don't think you were trying to be offensive, I just think people in general "forgive" (if that's the right word) gorgeous people for acting like they are all that. It's annoying yes, but true. Beautiful people really are treated differently, and although this is wrong, people obviously do it.
I had a friend that acted very similar to what you described, she would also be considered "unattractive" by most standards. Although she could be a nice girl and was alot of fun, she tended to drag others down in order to make herself feel better. I stopped hanging out with her because anyone that tries to push you down (gorgeous or not) is not a true friend and their actions are unacceptable. I realize that she had low self-esteem, but for me the right choice was to get away from her poisonous personality. She was also a huge gossip, and vindictive gossiping is one thing I can not stand to be around. I felt guilty for ending the relationship because I understood her actions were from low self-esteem, but I realized I do not have to endure that kind of treatment from anyone regardless the reasons.

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Def. not offended. Everyone needs to rant and rave once in a while. Sometimes it’s important to watch our words because they can come back to haunt us. It’s something I am always learning and re-learning. If anyone knew how much I edited my posts and replies so that they are as nice as I can get while still getting my point across- they'd probably wonder how I have the patience for it and still people see me as too blunt or even mean.

When I made my original comment to your post on the 10th I had just come back from being with my best friend who has struggled with being overweight her whole life. Her and I had a discussion about a friend of hers that we both attended high school with who has the tendency to brag about how many men she is with also. She tends to put my best friend down and boost herself up. My best friend is often hurt by her words and she stands up for herself now when they are made. And amazingly, despite knowing that the friendship is toxic and despite having made the rational decision to stay away from that particular friend, is able to speak kindly of that person and deal with those situations in a very graceful manner. Probably more graceful than I could ever be.

I am personally very protective of people I care about and when I see others being put down I jump into defensive mode. Because I don’t know your friend I took as much of a neutral stand point as I could. I can arguably understand your frustration and exactly where you are coming from and if I were around you and your friend and heard her say anything to you that would be considered intentionally mean- you can bet I’d say something. But I am not there to hear her say those things to you- I was here to read what you had said about her and her not being able to defend herself. I hope you understood where I came from on the matter.

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