My baby book is empty!!!

Okay so I know this may sound whiny of me but I was very sad to find that my baby book is practically empty! My information was filled in at birth but my parents did not include the bracelet I wore, a peice of my hair, my sonogram, or anything else!! There are no pictures in it and more than half the lines are empty. Things like "baby first smiled on _______" are not filled in.

To make matters worse, my older brother's baby book is practically bursting at the seams! He has EVERYTHING in ther including added papers because they ran out of room. He also has 3 more HUGE albums full of pictures from his first car ride home from the hospital all the way until he was 4. There's even newspaper clippings of "Dear Santa" notes!

I had a hard time finding my baby pictures and when I did I found them all out of order and in the envelopes they come in after getting them developed. They're not all nice and organized in albums. Also it seems that every picture of me is dominated by my brother!

I realise that by coming from a family of only 2 children and being the last that my parents were a little more baby crazy with their first and had less time to fool around with albums for be seeing as they would have a newborn and a 5 year old but it hurts to see my brother's entire life chronicled and protected mine just kind of cast aside in random envelopes. After looking through every album we own I was not able to find anything of mine between the ages of 1 to 4. There are pics of me as a newborn (not in albums) and then all of a sudden it's christmas of '94.

I know that my parents love me but I wish they would have put as much effort into my baby book and albums as they did with their first child.

Sorry this was so long I'm just really bothered by it right now. I was feeling nostalgic because I'm going to be turning 20 on the 11th and I feel like it's a milestone birthday! I'm no longer going to be a teenager.

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9 replies since 9th November 2010 • Last reply 9th November 2010

It's the same way with me and my sister. I was the first so my baby book is all filled out and my sister's has basically nothing in it. Parents are so excited with the birth of their first child that they tend to do all that nostalgic stuff, but when the second one comes along, they are tired, busy, and honestly just forget. So don't take it personally. They love ya! Early happy birthday youngin'. Oh to be 20 again. I don't think I would be 20 again! lol I hope you have a great birthday!

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This might sound really un-sentimental, but I wouldn't read too much into it. There's a big culture now (maybe from Facebook) that if you don't snap, save and scrapbook everything it means nothing- to me, memories of busy and exciting times often have less material evidence because I am too busy experiencing them. The same goes for my memories of life- for example I didn't make a mawkish pink 'planning my wedding' box/book (as hobbycraft, Carltons and various craft/card shops suggest- hmm to make cash?) because I used spreadsheets to plan time and a messy craft room/recycled bits to make my decor; my day was wonderful, I don't need to save every receipt, design and email to know that.

On a practical level - if you think about it, having 1 baby gives you time- provided the baby settles well at night- to scrapbook. Having a baby AND a toddler/child running round is harder- scapbooking SHOULD take a lower priority than childcare after all! This is probably why there is less in your book: 2 kids are harder work than 1. I would avoid reading any competative stuff into it or even suspecting that they weren't excited- they probably didn't have time and were more concerned with keeping you both fed, clothed and occupied at the same time! It may not seem fair but fair is doing as much as you can for the kid(s) you have at the time (with 'extras' in any free time): it would be odd to sit there if you had 1 child and enough free time and not do a book in case you had more kids, likewise it would be odd to sit pasting things into a book whilst your toddler cried and your baby needed changing in case they compared when they were older! It's just circumstances.

I come from a big family and used to wonder how my only-child friends had so much sentimental stuff, everything perfect looking, newly decorated rooms every year... looking back, it was that they were ONLY kids! My family simply did not have the time for all that.

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I don't even have a baby book.My brother has a HUGE one with all these cute pictures with my dad and cute notes on paper strips.But I'm not complaining,I understand,since my dad was spending all day at the bar when I was born,he was drunk all the time and never home,so I'm really grateful for my mom I know she did so much to make my childhood happy.My dad always loved my brother better and its not a secret because its a so called Serbian "tradition" that the first born boy is always the biggest blessing.nonsense.
(my dad got a little better through the years,he still drinks but hes more home now that we are all grown up)

This is why I will NEVER have two kids.Only one.

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Oh,so my point was kind of that you never know what was going on in the family at the time you where born and that maybe they had their hands full with two kids and had less time and energy to fill up the book.And its not the book that counts,its the memories and the love! Happy

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Hey honey I wouldn't worry, it's the same with me and my sister. I have hardly anything in mine whereas my sister's one has loads in it. My sister's the same with her kids, the first one is filled and the rest have fewer and fewer bits in it. It's not intentional so I wouldn't read too much into it... if you feel that bad, the written bits maybe you can sit down with your parents and fill it in together?

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Awe, Lo. Don't worry. I can tell you (as a mother) that a baby book does not determine how much you are loved. I love my little guy to pieces. I'd be tortured and ripped apart then sewn back up just to be ripped apart again for him...

but I am still finding it hard to have time to fill out his baby book.

Babies take up a lot of time. I mean a LOT. I can't even take a poop in peace, let alone sit down and fill in his book properly. I've just been shoving little pieces of info in the pages for when I find the time to "get to it".

With two little kids running around, I'm sure it was even harder for your mom to find the time to devote to the book. But you do have one, so that means she did have good intentions.

I didn't even have a book. I have only about 7 pictures of my child hood. My mother just didn't give a crap. I never had birthday parties...and was told once (when I was in the 4th grade) that I was an ungrateful bitch because I cried because all I wanted was a cake.

If you don't have memories like that, then rest assured that your mama loves the mess out of you...but was too busy making good memories to spend time on a book. ;)

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Just realized how bad that sounded...sorry!

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Thanks guys for reassuring me that my parents do love me and for showing me how normal it is. I was always sure they did it just sucked to look at a blank babybook last night. I haven't made a fuss about it to my mom or anything because I understand that when I was born my brother was 5 and she now had 2 kids to take care of.

But on the plus side this morning I looked an found an old peice of paper torn from a notebook that has my progress written on it. Stuff like "sat up by herself - June 10th" so that was nice to find and I also discovered that my first word was "mama".

This isnt a rant I just thought it was silly and wanted to share. There was a paper that the hostipal filled out at my birth. It's yellow and it has teddy bears on it and it has all my info. I noticed that what ever nurse filled it out did it wrong. She put my parents name on the first line of the paper because under it there are the words "was born to" but she didn't understand that those words are supposed to be read...so if you read the certificate it says "Guy & Fay was born to... and weighs 7 pounds... and measures 19 inches..." I thought it was funny but maybe that's only because I'm tired.

Now on another seperate note, I'm sorry to hear about some of your crappy times in childhood Violetta & Dessah. I guess we all have some - which sucks! And Violetta I totally agree with you about the number of children you're going to have. I already told my mom that I dont ever see myself having ANY unless I have a huge life changing moment but if I do it's only going to be one. Some people say it's nice to have siblings with you while growing up but I like the idea of an only child. This way there is no putting one over the other or like in my best friend's family they had 2 girls so it's always "oh look how much prettier one is compared to the other". Which is very sad because it can put a wedge in between the two kids and they grow up resenting each other.

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Darling, I'm the youngest of 5 older sisters so don't sweat this. Being a mommy is hard and it's even harder when your a mommy the second time around. Chances are your mom was so busy wanting to watch and see your every move and learn about everything you're learning about that she didnt have time to fill that stupid thing out. Don't worry about it.

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