Kids and Gender Selection

I've just been watching a very odd programme about choosing the gender of your child and wondered how the other members felt about it?

I know that in the US there are clinics you can go to where it's legal (if pricey) to choose the gender of your child. That's not the case here in England. Do you think the American or English system is better? Is it right to choose the gender of your children?

I just don't know and the programme upset me quite a lot so I wanted to know what you guys think.

Have fun

Bryony

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28 replies since 28th June 2010 • Last reply 28th June 2010

I don't think you should pick. I don't like the idea of "designer" kids. It kind of disturbs me.

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I was born and raised American, and I think this is a disgrace.

There are people, for example, who will turn their daughter into a son in vitro, and then throw a fit when that son is gay.

That's just the first thing that comes to mind.

I can't believe the lack of morals this world is suffering from today. Happy

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I personally wouldn't do it... However, I wouldn't turn my nose up at someone if that was their choice. It makes you wonder though, all these people that grow up and think that they are in the 'wrong' body and so have a sex change, whether they were a designer baby. Like Rachie said though the parents would be mighty annoyed if that were to happen! Will be good to see what others say to this and their comments. But no I wouldn't, I'd be happy with boy or a girl Happy

Was there a reason why (in the documentary) those people were choosing the gender? Was it just because they wanted to? Or other reasons behind it?

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Same here.I would never do it.
I would be happy (if I ever get kids) with boy or girl.

But its fine with me if someone else chooses to do it.

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I personaly wouldn't have choosen the gender of my kids. They are all unique in their own way. Maybe I'm about to throw a large spanner in the works with my next thought. There are families that suffer with serious heriditary conditons that cause premature death in children, heartache and life long suffering. There are some cases where I could agree with intervention but only under strict ethical codes. I don't agree with the idea of choosing a babies eye colour or those other fashion accessory ideas that some way out there thinking scientists are suggesting.

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I think that nobody should decide, you have to let nature take its course and leave well enough alone, we have interfered enough, the way I see it only the higher being or who ever is looking down on us has that power.

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CRAZY! who would want to pick, its just not natural

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Wouldn't that be strange for the kid? After he or she grows up and finds out that their sex was chosen. Even if the question of 'having the wrong body' is left out and a the kid carries on perfectly happy with who he/she is wouldn't it still be weird to know that you were 'supposed' to be a boy/girl but it got changed... I could see that if a kid would find out that his/her sex was chosen and other kids at school would find out too they would tease the kid horribly. Like if it was a boy they would say "You were supposed to be a girl! hahaha" Like many of you have said it's not natural!

How would you guys feel if you were told today that when you were just a little blob in your mum's belly that your sex was chosen for you?

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Doesn't the gender get 'sorted' (sorry, don't know the technical terms here) before the egg and sperm meet in the womb? Or it's done in one of those little petri dishes and the fertilised egg gets put back into the womb. I don't think it is necessarily the gender gets changed, it gets chosen before any baby starts developing. In which case they could spend loads of money and effort on creating a boy when in theory if they just had a natural pregnancy etc. then it could have ended up as a boy anyway.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought this was how it was done...

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I'm not saying that I agree with it that way or any way (see my post before the previous one), I just think it could sway peoples thoughts on it, the way the procedure is carried out.

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I don't think it's right, you should just be happy that you have a little gift of a child as many couples I know are struggling to get pregnant or hold a baby of their own. If you have unconditional love for your child it shouldn't matter what gender they are, their hair colour, eye colour or ANYTHING!! It's your baby, after all your baby will pretty much love you no matter who you are so it should work both ways. Sorry if that doesn't make much sense. I definatly wouldn't do it.

The only situation in which I would consider selection is like what Sheila said, if there was major problems with the child, (although having a child that has problems you will still love him/her no matter what and vice versa) it's still unfair for a child having to go through the pain and trauma of certain health problems.

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for some its not about being happy or not being grateful some genetic disorders are more likely to happen to different sexes take lesch-nyhan syndrome it is very rare here a link http://lndnet.ning.com/basics/page/show?id=2255642%3APage%3A124 this only happens in boys i love my boys with all my heart but if i knew there was a possibility because of genetics one of them could have this disease and all i had to do was have a girl and i could choose sorry guys i would choose so for some the ability to choose the sex of their child should be made available free of charge .but on the other side to have it done just because you want a girl and not a boy or vise versa well god gives you what you need.

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I think it's crazy, too. Why not just adopt a child who is already the gender you want? I may just be different from the rest of the world, I have an adopted brother, and 4 adopted cousins, so it's not an issue with my family. They are a part of the family, even if they are obviously different races, etc., they've never been treated differently. So, I guess it's obvious I'm not the type to choose the gender of my child. It sounds like the ones who do it are they types who have more money than they know what to do with, and think everything in their lives should be exactly as they like it to be.
My (then) in-laws were just certain that my daughter was going to be a son, when I was pregnant, because they have 'so many'(not that many) boys in their family. It wasn't as if they wanted her to be a boy, they only have one living granddaughter, and my ex husband's oldest brother's wife almost carried a daughter to term, but she died. So they got me to stop hoping for a girl, because I was afraid I'd be disappointed. When we went to find out the sex, I actually was a little disappointed that Sofi was a girl, because I'd begun to think of her as Brendan. But I soon got over that, and still had to endure the arguments that "It may not be a girl, anyway..." because other boys in the family had seemed to be girls during their time in utero. I had this extreme feeling of "Ha! Told ya so!" when she was born and they told me she was a girl.

Anyway, I am glad we can find out the genders of our babies before their births, now, but I would in no way condone changing the sex of an unborn baby.

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Well that is why I added afterwards that I would only find it acceptable if the child has health problems and I can accept that not all medical conditions can be diagnosed until after the child is born, so I would whole-hartedly accept that Gender Selection should be made available to those children diagnosed with medical/genetic conditions or are suseptible to certain medical/genetic conditions. However I feel that in these cases background checks on medical histories and medical (child and parent) and psychological (parent(s)) examinations should be carried out before being granted the option to choose your baby's gender. Similarly like they do with people that wish to have some sort of cosmetic surgery (even though cosmetic surgery in not related to gender selection).

My point was in highlighting the selfishness of those that would pick the gender of their baby for their self gratification, for the vanity of it. What I meant was that if someone was carrying a HEALTHY child the parents should be happy and grateful with that as there are many couples that would be eternally grateful to be able to conceive or carry and give birth to a child of their own, regardless of the baby's gender. That was what I was trying to get across.

I wouldn't say Gender Selection is wholly right or wrong, it does depend on the circumstances around the situation. However it does annoy me that there are people that would select a baby's gender purely and solely for their own satisfaction, that is what I find wrong.

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