heart break i need help!

i took this class and met this great guy we both had feelings for each other and after the class we keeped in contact then i found out hes from another city so theres distance between us, i also found out he likes 2 other girls and he confuses my by saying he just feels atracked to them but he loves me and then last night he said he thinks we should just be friends and thats all we were to begin with friends who loved each other alot, now im confused and hurt i dont know what to do

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18 replies since 2nd February 2010 • Last reply 2nd February 2010

I'm sorry my dear. I know all too well how you feel. I have a very dear friend who I have feelings for, but he doesn't feel the same way. However, I'd rather have his friendship than to not have him in my life at all. You need to make whatever choice you feel is best for you. If you're unable to handle just being friends with him then it's probably best to move on. But on the other hand you don't want to lose a good friend just because he doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for him. It is a very confusing spot to be in, but take your time to think about what's best for you emotionally and I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Trust me, even though it doesn't feel like it now, the hurt will go away eventually and you'll find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Hugs!

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this is going to sound bad to you, but sweetie any guy that strings you along is no friend. He made you belive that he loved you romanticly and then changes his mind. Thats a player.

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i gess so

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hon if it was ment to be, you wouldn't need to rationalize it. It will hurt for a bit, but then you will meet a great guy who likes you, for who you are.

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i knoww a guy who is doin that same thing 2 u hes just stringin u along i sorry 2 say but ppl are ust cruel and do that type thing

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Gloom Cookie, I understand all too well how upset you must feel. It probably doesn't feel like it right now, but your heart will heal with time. If you need to talk, just let us know.

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Gloom Cookie,
Honey I am so sorry to hear you having to go through something traumatic like this.

I have a similar experience, about 3 years ago. I fell for a guy at school. He was in the year below me - he was Year 12 (1st Sixth Form Year) & I was in Year 13 (2nd & typically last Sixth Form Year). From the year he'd joined Sixth Form till just a bit before Christmas we had become close friends and close in general. Basically we fancied eachother. He never actually said but actions speak louder than words - I know he fancied me. Then we broke up for the Christmas holidays. We didn't contact eachother. When we came back in the New Year and he was totally different towards me. I decided to tell him I liked him aot a month later and he acted even weirder. He said he'd talk to me about it later, it took me about a month or 2 to get him to talk and he told me that he was flattered but he wasn't ready for another serious relationship after getting out of a bad relationship 6 months previous.

Not long before I left Uni I found out that he'd got with someone new.

So the girls are esentially right in that he sounds like a...
...PLAYER!!

I know it hurts honey, of course it will do. Believe it or not with each day it will get better and better, there are still times where I think the guy, we don't keep in contact properly. That is my way of dealing with things because it hurt too much to keep in contact with properly. I speak to him every now and again on MSN or Facebook, but sometimes stuff still hurts. Like once he wanted to catch up and I agreed, we went to the cinema which was all cool, then we went out for a meal after but it felt too much like a date, he weren't flirting but it weren't like a casual meal with a buddy. It felt too weird to me and I didn't bother seeing him again.

P.S: The guy is still with this girl and it sometimes hurts a little when I see pics of him and his GF on FB especially since she had to move back to Greece (she's Greek - she came over to England for a bit). But it's not so bad now because I have my life and he has his... Just do what you gotta do and a nice guy will come along in the middle of you living your life that genuinly cares!!

Good luck honey. If you need to talk more you know where to come... xxxxx

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thank you guy i need a little more help he keeps calling me and saying he loves me how do i tell him to leave me alone

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OMG! I guess I was wrong to think you could actually be this guy's friend. He's being an absolute asshole! I'm glad you want him to leave you alone now because this is obviously not a nice guy or anyone you should even consider being friends with. He's toying with your emotions. I've had plenty of guys do the same to me, but I usually wasn't strong enough to back away until they ended up hurting me so bad I had to. Good for you! I would just tell him that you don't want to talk to him anymore, and leave it at that. If he begs to know why, say I just want you to leave me alone. I think telling this guy how you feel would only give him some sick kind of satisfaction knowing that he's hurt you. If he keeps on, just calmly say that if he doesn't leave you alone you're going to have to report him for harassment. Try to be as calm and direct as you can because this guy is after some negative attention. Don't let him have the satisfaction! You're showing enormous strength and I'm so proud of you! (((Hugs))))

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be strong, tell him to leave you alone. Do you have caller id? then ignore his calls or do what kiddo says. Report it

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Hi Glooom Cookie

This guy sounds so immature. Sounds like he's keeping his options open and is not grown up enough to make grown up decisions. Let him know that you deserve someone who is going to treat you as number one and he doesn't fit the profile. Good luck x

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Ahh Gloom Cookie ke being strong girl.

I would tell him to leave you alone and if he wants to know why you could tell him that he's overstepped his boundaries as being your friend and that you deserve a better friend and a partner who as respect for you??

Good luck babe
[HUGS]]

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how are you feeling? Be strong, thinking of you

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omg. Happy

i am so sorry, lady! *virtual hugs*

he isnt your friend if he is playing with your emotions like that. like others have said, ignore him, tell him to move on, and if he doesnt stop, REPORT HIM. if he keeps showing up/calling/whatever after you tell him to stop, that is STALKING.

i know its hard; ive been through similar circumstances. just remember that we, and others, are here for you. remember these words from the dear ms. christina aguilera: "stay strong, and carry on."

it will be ok eventually, even though it feels like it never will be. i promise. Happy

xoxoxoxoxo

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