schizophrenia/loss

So, my dad died from a bad mix of bulimia, paraniod schizophrenia, and colon cancer. Even though its been a really long time, (May 29, 2001) I still would like to get some kind of closure. Ive been thinking of him a lot lately. His death anniversary was a few months ago, Fathers day was last month, and his birthday is Sept. 20th. Every now and then, it makes me mad that hes gone, Because I kno, or think, bulimia could have been x'd out of the equation. I think if I heard your opinions on schizophrenia or bulimia, it would help me to understand what he went through. I dont kno a whole lot about either of these things. But was hoping someone here would. Or maybe just tips on how you have coped with loss of someone close to you.

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4 replies since 21st July 2010 • Last reply 21st July 2010

well its hard when someone close to you dies, everyone deals with loss in their own way.

Did you get a chance to say goodby?

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Sorry about your loss honey!
My best friends father died on Saturday from a heart attack so I can imagine how hard this is for you.She didnt have a chance to say good by so now its really hard for her.
Michelle is right,everyone deals with the loss in their own way.
My friend looked through family pictures all day and listened to her dads favorite songs,so she could have a closure for it after the funural.Then again her brother cant do this stuff because its too painful for him.

I cant tell you about my own experience because the only person close to me that I lost was my Bako (serbian grandmother) and I was too young.But when ever I think of her I think of the good times we spent together.

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Well, I think most of the issue is that I couldnt officially say goodbye. I hadn't seen him since I was like 8 and for whatever reason, I dont even remember seeing him then. I found out he died by my mother reading it in the obits. I met his family the same day it ran in the paper, but by then, he had already been cremated. So I couldnt see his body to say goodbye. We werent close by any means (as you can tell by how long it had been since I seen him) however, I still love him with all my heart and it just drives me nuts to think that I will never see him again. Idk.

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Write him a letter. It may sound silly, but it will probably make you feel better. Tell him everything you're feeling. Everything you wish you could have said. Talk about what you're doing in your life, and your plans for the future. Pour your heart out.

Then if you want, have a little ceremony by yourself. Burn the letter and spread the ashes into the wind.

Hope it helps.

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