My Candor?

59 replies since 31st March 2010 • Last reply 31st March 2010

I know if I would participate in my first swap I would love people to be honest about my package.Thats the only way I could learn and do better next time.

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I think a lot of users on here are pretty young and might just not understand constructive criticism, and how its meant.
When I went to art school for a short time people would get so sad when we would have to critique their work. They would take it personal, and also get very defensive.

But anyways, I think that it could be because of how old some people on here are, and are still very sensitive and insecure about their work as most people are when they first start crafting, or anything sort of creating.

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Whoa! Traci, welcome back haven't seen you in awhile! But age could be a factor too, the younger generation tend to take criticism a lot harder.

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I've always found your honesty refreshing. This is a site and it is difficult to know exactly sometimes what is meant when conversation is in written format. There's no body language, no intonation, no visual clues apart from the smilies etc. I agree with you that age could play a part. I'm in my fourties and have a teenage daughter who speaks a completly different language to me. I think you put your feelings across in a well thought out way and I've never been offended by anything you have written. If anyone has issues maybe they should look closer to home.......oops was that too honest? Happy

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Creative I don't think you've ever been rude or offensive. I think sometimes your honesty may hit a nerve but that's not a reason for not saying anything. Sometimes things need saying and I think of your honesty as part of you and a positive. I also agree with Sheila - honesty can be extremely refreshing.

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I'm all for honesty and candor and have never found you offensive, Trish. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss.

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And I meant in that previous post that it "wasn't" their first swap, sorry.

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I'm a strong believer in saying what I think, agreeing to disagree with someone and moving on. Everyone is entiltled to their opinions even if we disagree with them. That's what makes us individual. I'm glad we are all different. Thats what make this site fun Happy

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hey hon, you know that we had this issue before, I don't think we need to mention any names. But some people have a hard time dealing with critism. I think you should keep on writing what you want, say what is on your mind.

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No we don't, Michelle. Thanx sweetie.

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I have no problem with you saying what you think. I get problems with friends all the time with being a bit blunt with them, or saying the first thing that comes to mind.

I know you don't find that recent incident very big and don't want to go into it too much but I can see how your comment could easily be taken as being more then it was. However you need be be very careful how you word things online as they can be taken the wrong way as people have stated before. I would like to add though that in that particular situation it could not be called "constructive criticism" which is why I believe said person reacted in the way they did. You made a comment but didn't really expand on that comment as to why/what it was that made you feel that way. So they had to make the assumption and thus resulted in them defending themselves. It was not till your next replies did you explain your qualms with the situation. All problems which probably could have been avoided with better wording. I'm not sure about other situations that may have happened with you as I haven't noticed any at all.

Don't change the way you are, there is nothing wrong with being truthful in these situations. However when offering constructive criticism it's sometimes hard to remember the "constructive" part.

That's all I got to say.

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Creative i like you for your honetsy and i saw the comment on the swap and understand your feelings. we spend precious time trying to make sure others will enjoy what we make for them then to get something that seems as if they didn't really care.It hurts and well you have never said anything nasty in my opinion so if they can't understand that we put so much unto what we make that it makes yo feel cheated if they don't forth an equal effort

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I understand what you mean Rhibi and you're probably right about me saying more of what my "qualm" was but we all made a list of our favorites you were in the swap, so I would think it wouldn't have taken a genius to figure out what I meant. So still, I don't think I should have been called rude and inconsiderate. It wasn't a nasty comment and it wasn't meant to be, so still it isn't my fault if they misinterpreted it. And I wasn't speaking about that incident when giving constructive criticism, I meant just in general.
I didn't make a big deal of it and I'm still not. Now if I wanted to then I would have wrote a big spill about it and then it probably would have been justified for the name calling directed at me. And this thread is not a way of making a big deal of it, it's about questioning how I administer my honesty. If it's hurts some when it's not meant to, especially when I think about what I say before I say it (type it), meaning that I consider how it would affect others, then it's not my fault how they take it. It just means that their opinion is different from mine and I'm not going to apologize for it.
And thank you Interstellar for seeing my point.
And just so you all know, those were not harsh words with a tone. It seems nowadays, I gotta add that.

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LOL. I liked the end of that last post. (= I love honest people. Don't change. I have never read anything you have written and thought you were being mean or anything of the sort. It is really hard though to know for sure how people mean things on here. I have had people take what I say the wrong way too. That is why I am not hosting anymore swaps. It was just too much drama for me.

Keep on being your wonderful self. We luv ya!

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Oh I understand completely about your situation there Creative. I hope you didn't take my comment to be battering you either. Rereading it I can see how it could have been taken in an unfavourable light (as could your last comment, hence the reason you added the "not harsh words" bit). I made the mistake about the constructive criticism part and what you were applying it to in that instance (haha see how easy it is to misinterpret something Tongue) That is just something that irks me, when people say they offer constructive criticism when they clearly do not. I only picked it out as it was the only time I have seen your honesty apparently hurt someones feelings.

Unfortunately the thing with honesty you are going to hurt peoples feelings weather you (or they) like it or not, even if it isn't your intentions. It's just how it goes. How else would the white lie have come about in the world. I got no problem with the way you are just don't be surprised when others do not.

Ahh the joys of community forums Tongue

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