Knittin' Kitten

I've had a few hectic days, which is why I haven't added anything to this.

Wednesday and Thursday I was having incredibly painful stabbing sensations in my right breast, constantly. I could barely move and I was crying every time I did too much or tried to get changed. On Thursday evening I had my daily check-up call with Tania and when I told her about the pain she got in contact with my surgeon in order for her to call me. I was terrified and just crying, thinking something was horribly wrong, and when Lisa called and said I needed to come into the hospital right away I was terrified. So I rushed in as quickly as I could, still in my PJs and clutching a pilow in the taxi (my dad had downed a bottle of wine and my mum has a broken wrist so neither could drive me.)

Lisa didn't end up coming in till 10am the next morning, so I spent all night in the hospital, having my breasts and blood pressure checked every hour or so, so I didn't get much sleep during the night. They seemed to think it was just a trapped nerve - my breasts looked the same, the one that hurt wasn't red or swollen and the wounds were fine, so it didn't look like an infection or anything. So at least I had that out of my mind. They pumped me full of morphine and various other drugs but I still found it very hard to move and needed help just getting to the bathroom.

When Lisa came in, the first thing she did was take off the bandeau I was wearing. She said that was the first thing I should have done when it started hurting, but I didn't know whether I should or not. She checked everything, said it's probably just pressure or maybe a trapped nerve, but nothing could be done about a trapped nerve and it would just sort itself out. So she changed my dressings, which meant I got my first proper look at my new breasts - and I mean, right now they're still all bloody and stitched together, but in terms of size and shape they look fantastic. I wouldn't have minded a bit bigger but that wasn't what I was worried about - I just wanted to look normal.

I was told off a little for not saying anything sooner and for not taking off the bandeau, but I suppose I just thought that's how much it was meant to hurt? I thought I just had to deal with it and that was that. We then discussed what pain medication I was on and it turns out I wasn't on nearly strong enough stuff, so I've come home with a few extra packets of things to try out, and they seem to be working a lot better. I've also got to keep the bandeau off for now, which makes me VERY happy as I hated that thing, it hurt my back to wear and you could always see it no matter what I wear.

This means I've been experiencing the novel sensation of not wearing a bra underneath my clothes, which is definitely...interesting. Although it feels like I have a bra, because I still have the bandages underneath my breasts which feels like the bottom of a bra, and I have the extra weight of the implants which I'm not quite used to yet. So I keep going to adjust my bra and then realising I don't have one haha. But it's great, I'm so happy. My mum bought me my first ever balcony bra, this lovely red lacy thing and it looks great on me. I can't wait to go out and buy nice bras, and some sexy lingerie to wear for Andy.

I am still in pain but significantly less, and I can't expect not to have any, that's just silly. And the painkillers are making me feel very sleepy, so when we had guests over today I had to leave them at one point to just sit with my feet up in the living room for five minutes. But I feel like I'm improving a lot. Also, I was able to put on a pull-on top today! Which is fantastic, because I hate hate hate button up shirts. This probably sounds so dull to everyone else, but this is all so exciting for me!