My name is Jenny, I'm 19, and tomorrow I'll be having a breast augmentation.
As I'm sure many have found, I've noticed that sitgmas fade as you grow up. When once my bisexuality was cause for fights and bullying, it's become something that barely anyone bats an eyelid about. No one mocks me for my hair colour or piercings any more. There has only been one thing that I've noticed prejudice for, and that's being a woman.
Unfortunately I'll be adding another one.
I've noticed more and more frequently of late that there is a massive taboo around cosmetic surgery, specifically breast augmentation. Not that my operation is cosmetic surgery - but neither is it life threatening, and therefore to everyone else it may as well be.
Of course it's only because I'm aware of it as a personal matter now. But it amazes me how there can still be such ridicule about such a thing. It's casual comments made by people, often that a woman's breasts are "plastic" or "fake."
This confuses me beyond belief. Perhaps it's something you can only understand by going through it, but the thought that consistently runs through my head is "I can't wait to have real breasts." I understand that this is a paradox, and that the most real breasts I'll ever have are the ones I have now, but to me, just having some that I feel comfortable with will mean I feel more like they're a part of me. People I've spoken to recently have tried to understand, and failed. I don't really expect them to, because it's not an easy situation by any means.
At the end of the day, everything I do is for myself, and I won't give that up. I've fought through years of depression, self-hatred, anxiety issues, eating disorders...maybe it's time to give myself a very expensive treat.
So today, I'm trying to focus on that rather than the actual operation part of tomorrow. I'm bringing the long-run scheme back, folks. It's just that sometimes the long-run seems far more terrifying than the short-term.
Ho hum. An hour and fifty five minutes left in which to eat and drink (after reviewing my information, I can't eat or drink after midnight.) And still to do - pluck eyebrows and change my nose piercing.
Wish me luck.