Draw a mustache on your cardboard. I made mine about 6 inches long and opted for the Rollie Fingers/Old-Timey Villain/Phosphate Shop Proprietor style, but you make whatever kind of mustache you want.

Cut out your mustache. This is your pattern. Hooray!
Pin it to your felt and cut that out too. I left about a 1/8
inch seam allowance as I cut it out. Make sure to cut
out TWO mustache pieces from your felt.

Pin your mustache together with right sides facing. Sew around the edges (I just did it by hand because I’m still terrible at the sewing machine). Leave an opening for stuffing it later.

Turn that mustache inside out! (Or, I suppose rightside out in this case). If you made a curly one like I did, this is the irritating part as it’s a little time- consuming to get the ends turned.

Stuff your mustache. Fill it with a little bit of polyfil. A very little bit.You don’t want to make it so thick that it won’t sit right in your book. Just use enough to give it a little bit of body and life, a fine quality to have in mustaches real and fake.

Sew up the opening you used for stuffing.

That’s it! Now you’re all set to read your book undetected out in public and hold your place when you are through.

It’s also very good for making “consternation faces” that will provide your loved ones with literally minutes of sidesplitting laughter. At you.

<--------- Sneaky disguise in action.
This is the first how-to I’ve ever done so if I left out any crucial mustache bookmark making-related info, I’m sorry. I’m kind of working on the assumption that anyone else nuts enough to want a mustache bookmark/disguise has a basic working knowledge of crafty things.