by Gypsie Moon
I'm sorry this is happening michelle!! I don't really notice the haters on here either - I just focus on the wonderful, open, fabulous people!! I really hope you don't close your account, because lots of us love you and you're such an amazing and inspiring crafty goddess!! It would be such ashame to lose you!!! v.v
Anti V-Day party with girlfriends? Gripe about men, watch silly movies, or romantic ones, and talk about how gag-worthy they are? Hehe. Conversely, celebrate it with girlfriends! Have a pink day! Pink foods, girly movies, gossip, it could be a blast!
You know, taking Valerian root capsules is supposed to help with sleep problems. And for those of you in the States, I discovered that you can get bottles of it for $2 or $3 in Dollar General, rather than $8 to $10 anywhere else. YaY!
I know how you feel. I'm 20, and don't know what I want to do. It seems like I'm watching my friend's careers take off, get their lives started, start families - and I'm still living at home trying to figure out what to do with myself. My problem seems to be that I don't know what my passion is. I want to travel, but I'm afraid I would feel guilty about leaving my family, or get homesick, or suffer worse panic attacks. I would like to be a healer in some form, but have a hard time being around people when sick. Therefore, I'm looking at something more along the lines of massage or reiki. It would be nice to get in touch with my intuitive side - then I could do readings or something, but I always let my conscious mind get in the way. Performing would be lots of fun, but if I ever had a solo.. oof. Stage Fright!! I just wish I could find one thing that I'm really good at and enjoy! I don't want to do nothing, but I don't want to get stuck doing something I don't like, either.... and it's so hard watching the friends that seemingly popped out of the womb with a plan for their lives! Rawr, Rawr! >.<
Ahhh well it's a quarter after 1 in the morning here, and I don't suppose I'll be getting sleep anytime soon! >.< I laid down like an hour ago, and for whatever reason have been all anxious and unable to sleep - like my body is thinking about panicking but not quite doing it, which was odd, because it's raining which is usually quite relaxing. Until a few minutes ago, when the power went out, this awful noise happened and the entire yard turned green. Tornado, anyone? But it looks like I'm still here, and the storm seems to be passing, so hopefully my body will calm down and let me sleep! >.<
Can I just say that I have attempted knitting (just now) and I freaking hate it!!! IT'S SO HARD!!!! I tried crocheting a few months ago, which I actually wasn't doing too terribly with - considering I was learning by YouTube videos, but GAH!! KNITTING!! RAWR!!! It's the new bane of my crafting universe!!!!! >.<
I used to love going to sleep to relaxing cd's! It would probably still be nice, if I had a new cd player. Or I suppose I could always download some onto my ipod and do that! Usually the only thing these days that keeps me awake into the wee hours of the morning is getting sucked into a good book! =)
Yeah it does sound like people are coming through to her on purpose - but I didn't want to be the first one to say that! I know I've had 2 people come to me in dreams after they died, but I've never woken up talking to anyone, which seems to be a step further in level of progression. Maybe you're just one of those people who's really open, and so spirits feel they can come to you. Which obviously they can. I have also read that night terrors can be things that you are remembering from a past life, and that the best way to get rid of them is to recognize that they are images from a past life, and to ask that it be dissolved in love and light. I had that thought when you said you sometimes see dead bodies and things in your dreams like from a horror film. If you believe in that sort of thing, it's possible you may have lived during a time or war, or in a concentration camp or something like that. Of course, if that's not your cup of tea, then that's fine too - but I suppose it's another possibility!
Is that the Gardasil vaccine, or something different? I know the Gardasil one comes in three parts, and I had it done a few years ago. And I used to have a total needle phobia as well, so I know how you feel. I would cry and hide when it was time to get a shot or get a cavity filled at the dentist, because I hated needles so much - and this wasn't very many years ago. LoL. But when I was 15, I had surgery, and kind of.... got over it. That is to say, I still don't LIKE needles, but they don't terrify me so much anymore. I know when I got the Gardasil, the only side effects I had were, naturally, my arm hurting a bit and I got a teeny tiny bit queasy a few hours after. Never enough to be sick or anything - just annoying, and nothing a pepto bismol didn't cure! So don't worry! You definately won't have an air bubble and there's no way the thing is going to break off into your arm. Also, I'm on birth control, and no blood clots or nasty side effects for me! So just... breathe.... hold somebody's hand if you're scared, and look away from the needle. If you distract yourself, it'll be over before you know it!!
Glad I could help, Rachie! =) Now if only I could learn to like the taste of tea, maybe I could calm myself down as well!!! >.< What's the secret to making it yummy? ^.^
And Knittin' - that sounds awful, those nightmares of yours! >.< It's interesting that you wake up talking to people sometimes, though - and even more so that you aren't frightened by it! Eek!
Okay so here's what I found! Although there isn't anything for panic attacks or sleeping, I did find stuff on anxiety and stress - and since anxiety attacks and panic attacks are the same thing, hopefully this will help! Of course, you don't have to do ALL the things listed - just pick what you like! Oh, and if you're wondering, the book is called 'The Doctors Book of Herbal Home Remedies' by the editors of Prevention Health Books =)
* Take a capsule providing 60 milligrams of kavalactones 3 times daily (kava kava). Kavalactones are the active anxiety-fighting ingredients in the herb Kava
* Take a 150 milligram capsule of Valerian 2 times daily for calming nerves and help sleeping
* Drink one cup of chamomile tea 3 times daily as the active ingredient, apigenin, has a significant anti-anxiety effect
* Passionflower tea or tincture in times of great stress, rather than a daily tea
*1 oz. dried siberian ginseng
*1 oz. dried licorice
*1 oz dried skullcap
*1/2 oz dried marshmallow
*1/2 oz dried valerian
To make, scoop out 1 tsp of the blend and steep in hot water for 10 minutes, then strain. Drink 1 to 3 cups daily as needed.
*Chamomile tea 3 times daily
*Chamomile aromatherapy oil
*Valerian, Passionflower and Skullcap tincture - 2 droppers of tincture diluted in 1/2 cup of water 3 times daily
*150 to 300 milligrams of Valerin in capsule form 2 times daily, especially to help at night
*15 drops of Siberian Ginseng tincture daily or 100-200 milligrams in capsule form 3 times daily before meals - helps you stay calm in stressful situations
*200 milligrams of Kava Kava root extract in capsule form 3 times daily
Well it looks like the remedies are pretty much the same for these situations, so that makes it easy enough!
I think you're right that it's all connected somehow... though I'm not exactly sure how that is! I had night terrors when I was 2.... and my parents say I would actually be running around like something was chasing me, that I'd scream and cry and when they'd grab me, I'd be blank like I had no idea who they were. I don't recall any of this obviously, but I guess they eventually went away.
Even though the night terrors are gone, I still have panic attacks, and while they sometimes come on during the day, I usually wake up out of a dead sleep with them. It's like I'm terrified, and thinking of death, and shaky and nauseus, and it's awful. But about 10 or 15 minutes and they just.... go away. And thinking about it... I think I actually did read somewhere online that people with night terrors as children are more likely to have panic attacks - I just don't know why! It's really frustrating!
Also, from what I read, there's no cure for panic attacks, but meditation, yoga and lots of exercise are supposed to be the best things to keep them away - and I have a book on homeopathic remedies, and I know I read about panic attacks in there, so I'll go find the book and post the advice!! I must say, you seem quite active in your sleep, my dear!! Apparently I used to do that, too. I've been alseep with my eyes open, had conversations with my parents, sat up in the middle of the night and said Good Morning America!!! and went back to sleep, and once when I was little walked to my parent's room and demanded to know where the dinosaurs had gone! Haha!!!
Have you ever talked to someone about all the awful things your ex-fiance put you through? Maybe the stress over that situation repeating itself with your current bf is seeping into your subconscious somewhere and causing a lot of these problems. That's the hardest part - finding out where the blockage is and removing it. But theoretically, once it's discovered and fixed, the problem will go away. Hmmmm.
Now then! I'm off to find that book!
I don't know whether you believe in this or not, Laurel, but the feeling of something sitting on you and being paralyzed is called astral catalepsy- the idea behind that is that your spirit leaves your body while you are sleeping, which makes sense to me when you think about those dreams that were 'so real' you really felt like you were there, ya know? Basically, this is supposed to happen every night, and be a very natural and smooth transition. However, sometimes people wake up before they are compeletely back inside themselves - the pressure on your chest is well... you... and the paralysis comes from your body recognizing that your spirit isn't contained where it should be, and thus thinks that it's dying... but it isn't! I've never experienced it, but my mom has, and said it's a really awful feeling.
Or just type astral catalepsy into google, and tons of things pop up. maybe you can find out a way to control it. Hope that helps! =)
That's so ridiculous Kimmi!! The poor doggie! >.<
And Violetta, that was HILARIOUS!! That you plugged your husband's nose, I mean. Think I will try that with my boyfriend and have Mom try it with my step-dad. I'm dying to know what you actually used, though!! =)
Now for my rant! My silly car has gone off again! THIS time, apparently I have a hole in the resonator pipe - how it got there, I don't really know, unless it was from getting stuck in that evil mud-hole last weekend.... lots of rain + soggy ground = lots of messy mudholes. ANYWAY, so my step-dad took it to the local mechanic who is a total rip-off.... charged $65 for an oil change. I told my step-dad not to let him do it, as I have a coupon for a $20 change at Jiffy Lube - but he decided to pay for it rather than me for whatever reason, thank goodness.
The problem is that I have to replace the entire resonator pipe which is going to be somewhere around $250 JUST for the pipe... so that PLUS labor - which hopefully we won't have done on the island, cuz we'll just get ripped off as usual - and I can't drive it anymore than I HAVE to until I fix it, which is crappy because my boyfriend lives an hour away, so i'm used to driving it a lot! In the meantime, it sounds like it's going to attack someone! HAHA! you know those really loud cars that go zooming by that everyone hates listening to? Yeah, that's mine right now. RAWR!
Oh, well no, not really. That's kind of what I meant. :P That is the reason I haven't gone yet, though. I don't want to leave him behind, and I'm scared my anxiety attacks will go into high gear, but I'm sure I'd be okay. I have family up there that's offered to let me stay with them. The entire course is only 6 months anyway, so it would be like an extended vacation! =)
It's just odd I guess. We've been together nearly 3 years now, and it didn't used to be like this! I have no doubt that i will never have to worry about him being abusive, but he's just so moody, and nobody wants to hang out with a grump all the time. Still, I'm planning to probably move out of the state in the Spring to go to massage school, so that will probably fix things one way or another. haha. :P
Rawr! Men, right? I hope everything works out!!!! =)
As for meeeeeeeeeeeee. My boyfriend is a butt. Hahaha.
New Years Eve, we had our second Christmas, which he was totally aware of the weekend before and was perfectly fine with! Well, it just so happened that he wanted to go to a party that night, and so when I told him we were doing the Christmas thing with my family first, he totally shut down. He went and laid on the bed with his arms crossed and eyes closed, even when everyone was in there! Seriously, even when we gave him his stuff, he never cracked a smile, or sat up - it really hurt my feelings and made everyone else uncomforatable! And it was sooooo childish, since he was only mad that we weren't at that party!
Then when everyone left, he finally sat up and I was trying to drag it out of him why it was bothering him so much. Well apparently, the past two years of his life have been repetitive, because we only do what IIIII want to do, and never what he wants to do, because I never go to parties with him. He knows I don't like being around all the drinking and smoking and drunk guys hitting on me, so I always tell him to go without me - no big deal. But basically I was told if I didn't start going out with him, that was going to be it. What the hell! So much for respecting how I feel about things. And about doing what I want and not what HE wants - he never wants to do anything!!!! He doesn't like being outdoors, won't try new things - his main interests are partying, smoking and video games..... so me not sharing those interests hardly makes me a stick in the mud! But what do I know?
So I end up going to this party and I did have a pretty good time, so I guess I will start going with him. Thankfully it was a small one, because he got toasted (on only like 2 beers!!) and was stumbling, slurring and being really goofy!! I pointed out to him later that, if we had been at a big party with lots of drunken guys or something, how the heck could he look out for me when he's toasted himself? RAWR RAWR!!
But I did have fun in the end - it just really hurt my feelings that he's I guess been miserable with me the past two years because I don't party. >.< That, and I guess I don't fulfill his 'booty' requirements - meaning, apparently he feels bad if he doesn't get it every weekend. Eesh! I know he loves me, but he used to not be so, well, selfish!! Or maybe I'm being selfish, but lately, it seems like his love is coming with ultimatums, and that's not love at all.
Well for starters, on CO+K you are surrounded by awesome people and lots of projects to try out and get you inspired! Also, if you're not feeling the holiday spirit at home yet, why don't you try to locate some loal charities and things so that you can give back? Often times, that will certainly make you feel better! OR just pop in a favorite holiday movie - grab lots of friends and have a crafting party, or a decorating party, or something to take your mind off the crappy weather and just have some fun!! Or vent it all in a journal- that might help too! ^.^ Or when all else fails....
::Throws glitter on you and runs to hide:: Tee Hee!
Yeah it's so weird! A lot of the time I can feel them coming, so sometimes I can shake it before hand and sometimes I can't. When I try to explain it to people I just say that it's like this cloud of doom that settles on you. haha. It really does feel like an actual weight sometimes!! But when they sneak up on me or I wake up with them, it's just ARGH! It's such an awful feeling!!! >.< But I'm glad I'm not alone in this! ^.^
Yep I know my mother at least has anxiety - I know I had it when I was younger - was very shy and the thought of meeting new people was very intimidating and scary. Thankfully, I've moved past that part of it, but I'm sure it's still in there! I suppose I should go talk to someone - the only problem will be finding someone that knows holistic type solutions - in a way I feel that I haven't ALWAYS suffered from these things, so it's my own shortcoming - mind over matter. Plus, so many medications these days do more harm than good, that I'd just rather steer clear of them if I can help it.
I need to work on my deep breathing and relaxation. I'm so easily distracted! Rawr RAwr!
I always thought I was very depressed, because I've had episodes of these ever since I was tiny - but I just recently figured out that I'm having panic attacks! They usually come out of nothing and I get very doom and gloom, my heart races, I feel queasy, I get hot and cold and think about death. It's really scary but thankfully they don't last long. I looked it up and it says that panic attacks actually sort of simulate the feeling of bodily death - hence the rapid heartbeat, queasy scared feeling. The real crapper is that apparently there's no cure! It suggests meditation and yoga practices.... and I guess I'll see what happens. I also probably have a bit of depression as well - I don't feel sad - I just don't feel like I have the zest for life I want to feel. Anyway I was just wondering if anyone else suffers from panic attacks and what to do! I notice that they are sometimes triggered when I leave home, and I don't want to be someone who's afraid to leave the house for fear of an episode. Then again, they can also happen just randomly AT home - so I'm trying to figure out WHAT the trigger really is and how to deal with it. Thanks!! ^.^
It does always help to have a group of people supporting you! ^.^ And having a big group of beautiful ladies to help each other out - who could ask for anything better, right? =)
Bec: Definately tell your non-virginal friends to stuff it when they say it isn't a big deal - it is!!! I always planned to save myself for marriage, but with my current boyfriend who was my first love, I changed my mind! I didn't want to look back one day and feel like I had missed out on something great, and he was really good about it! I was surprised, but really quite pleased when he turned me down! He refused for a good month, because he wanted to make absolutely sure that I was ready and that it was something I wouldn't regret. I think that's so special for a guy to do that, because most, once getting the go ahead, would just go for it! The first time is something you can never get back, so good for you! Waiting for that special someone - definately nothing wrong with that. ^.^
Heh. As for dating sites, I know my boyfriend went on one for fun when he was single - he filled out the profile and it said it couldn't help him! He was incompatible with everyone I guess. HAHA! I've never let him live that one down!
Unfortunately, I know in the long run it's not going to work out for us.... different little things that would be a major pain down the road, but it's fun for now, and I love him to death! I think my problem is similar to Michelle's.... when I was 11, I met this guy, Colby, from Alabama. We would talk on the phone for hours and hours, and he was my best friend!! We only get to see each other once a year, but I've never felt with anyone the way I feel around him. It's like I can get through anything as long as he's beside me, and it sounds so cliche, but it's like I love his soul and my heart just sings when I'm around him. I love it! Unfortunately, I guess because we're so far apart, we've never really had the chance to test the waters, and it would seem that he doesn't quite feel the same, which is okay!! I would much rather keep him as a very close friend than push for more just to put a title on the relationship. Still, I'm 20 now, and I have yet to meet another who makes me feel that way!! Ah well.... ^.^
I think it was great of Sug to start the newbie swap, but I was thinking that maybe we should make it mandantory for newbies to complete the newbie swap before doing others. Usually it isn't a problem, but sometimes (like now), it is!
I think the only bad swap I've had was the first one I ever did! It was the plushie swap and I never got one back. Boo!! But my cute little bat critter did at least make it to its destination, so that's a plus!!!
Speaking of swaps, Michelle I haven't forgotten about you!!!!! Your Loli stuff is coming soon!!!! I went to the post office yesterday but the darn thing was sneaky and closed up early on me!!! But it's all sealed up and ready to go for you on Monday morning!!!!! ^.^ Sorry for the delay!!!!
That's not really sad. I just think that's how it is with those of us who are somewhat removed from the civilized world. Hahaha. But I DO hope that once you get out of the house and rock that interview, that you at least make a day of it!! Go shopping, treat yourself - get ready for the holidays!!! ^.^
But it would definately rock if there was some kind of craft convention where we could all meet up one day. Besides, airplanes are just buses in the sky - it's what they're here for!
I actually had an argument with the boyfriend about this the other day. I think that MOST people are born gay - think about it. If you're in first or second grade, nobody will have conditioned you to be gay or straight, but you're going to know whether you have crushes on boys or girls.I don't think there's anything wrong with it - I think what's wrong are the people who are so judgemental! Still, it might be true that some others do choose the lifestyle, some even for the attention. I at least know a few people who in high school decided to be bi, because then they were liked by everyone, but hey - whatever floats your boat. I do believe that everyone should have equal rights, and the idea that supporting gays leads us into child offenders and all that is just crazy!
Bad people come in all shapes, sizes, colors and walks of life - what does being gay or not have anything to do with it?? I just don't understand!!
But you live on an island too, don't you Michelle? My problem is that I'm a good hour away from all of my old high school friends, and nobody wants to make the drive.... except the boyfriend. Of course, I'd drive out to them as well if they'd only invite me out! Boo! We need to stage a CO+K international get-together. Woo!