by Jessica P.
It just occurred to me... my social life is horribly plain. XD
On occasion I exchange phone numbers, I have my set of regular people I speak to depending on which class period, and I'm not really in a main 'circle' of friends. Rather, I don't have a 'circle' of friends. All I have that are main is my boyfriend, which is like before only he was my close friend before.
Now that he has work near and on the weekends and goes on weekdays I'm left alone wondering what to do this friday night. -_- Never thought about it, but I'm horribly shy. Takes a lot of courage for me just to call up people. It's not that I dissolved all my free time into my boyfriend as I didn't spend much time with others anyways.
Well, that's gonna change! Starting now I'm gonna be more outspoken and just become friendly with more people! It's pathetic that I depended on my free time with only my boyfriend.
I managed to call a friend and invited her to watch Alice in Wonderland with me and she may possibly invite other friends as well. :) Hopefully not too many as I told her it was my treat. lol $10 a ticket. Time to start reconnecting with old pals I never really became pals with in the first place!
As things seem all well and good I was wondering if this was a normal thing for people. In the past I was more or less forced to stay at home meaning I couldn't really connect with people. But is it normal for a young 17 year-old to go through this sort of thing? My mother tells me that it's fine and usually really good friends that stick come around college or when you have a career.
There is only one thing that gets to me about my boyfriend. When he skips school for no good reason. Usually I nag him about it and tell him that its really important he comes. Due to my no good PMSing I just had to give him a full blown lecture that hit a few sore spots with him.
Afterwards I had a great sense of regret. Throughout the conversation he never raised his voice and stayed calm. I made him sad, but he was calm and agreed that it was wrong of him to miss school. I was the one who cussed, yelled, and badgered that he was going to get in a lot of trouble. Even if I was right that was no way for me to behave.
The next day I said I was sorry with a heartfelt apology letter and his favorite candy. He gave me a teddy bear, which I don't feel like I deserve. I asked him why he was saying sorry and if he was angry at me. He said no, that I was right, and that he only loves me more for caring so much. Plus by now he understands how moody I can get.
When he doesn't get mad at him when I expect him to be it only makes me all the more confused. Wondering for a couple of days if this kind of person is too good to be true. And I do in fact check if he really isn't upset. He just acts like his usual, loving self.
... I need to buy him more candy.
At the age of 17 I'm surrounded by people who constantly say, "OMG I LOVE YOUUUU!!!" I don't doubt I'll still see this in the future too. Just today my friend told me that her bf wouldn't stop making fun of her her and I asked her why she was still with him. "Because he's "the one"." O_O This is the reason people look down on my relationship.
I was just wondering, is there a relationship where the couple won't seriously fight with each other? I've heard of couples who have been together 30+ years and have never got into a yelling fit. I doubt them sometimes, but some of them actually sounded genuinely true.
Seeing as how my bf sees cleaning time as thinking time... life is wonderful. lol
Has anyone here watched the Pixar movie Up? We plan to travel around the world, but if for whatever reason we can't I wouldn't mind living the way Ellie did.
Aww, I just heard something that sounds terrible. Apparently there is this rare condition where someone goes through puberty at a very young age. A girl began to grow breast and pubic hair at just 3 and started her period at 6. Since her body's out of whack her periods last 55 days.
How did you know he/she was "the one"?
I myself don't believe that there's just that one person, but how did you realize that this was one that you wanted to be with forever?
I'm very young to be thinking about forever with one person, but yet I find myself thinking just that. There's no pressure, I'm not desperate for anything, I'm not whisking myself off or throwing away anything, it just comes naturally. That feeling that this is the one I'm going to be with. Not many seem to believe me though, which is understandable, but being judged as a fool and being put under the stereotype of immaturity gets to me after awhile. Whenever I do choose to live on my own and with someone else, it isn't too far away. Give or take a few years.
I'm actually a bit happy I have my period this month.
For the past 4 months I was starting around the 5th. Cool, I was starting to finally regulate. Then this month I was 6 days late. Very worried that I could have possibly been pregnant. But the fact that I was stressed during the holidays and that I was young and just possibly still irregular kept me calm. Sure enough my patience and trying to calm myself down turned out well. My method of birth control is checking/counting fertility and withdrawal. Even though these methods have worked for me for the past 8 months I've made the decision to use a condom along with them. The scares are just not worth it.
This guy sounds way off to me. Forget what you might think about him and look at his actions. This is a guy who is after with his girlfriend's friend. PLAYER ALERT!!! No good can come of this.
And about your 3 guy friends. Simple. You don't like them back then don't date them. If they stop being your friend just for that than they're just not the friends you need. If they get hurt then so what? It sure as hell wouldn't have felt better if you dated them and didn't really have feelings for them.
Oh, and just a quick thought from experience. If you have that, "Oh, we might grow to like each other more while we're dating" stop. That happens through friendship and when you actually get a crush on them. Which you do not.
I had a talk with my counselor about that. Rather than asking for my grades/skills she asked me about my common interests. I've always had a passion for animals and it lead up to thinking about zoology.
My suggestion is find something you enjoy the most and indulge in it. Sounds hard during this economy, but if it's something you really like than it's worth it no matter why.
You know... unless it's like indulging in drugs... or killing anyone... XD
I think my period is starting to regulate. Since I started when I was 8 its always been irregular. But for the past 3 months including today it's always on the 5th. I never expected it to regulate so soon because I'm young and I'm not on any pill.
I had no symptoms at all in the past few days or this morning. So I thought I was in the clear and said, "Oh, I must be irregular again." Literally 10 minutes later I'm hugging my stomach in pain and yelling at my brother to buy my chocolate. lol
They believe he is a "phase". Or they hope is anyways. As young as I may be this relationship he is someone very dear to me, both as a friend and bf.
I'll keep telling my parents that I want to do more things and I'll get them to think that it really is how I want to live. But honestly I don't have much hope for them seeing me as someone who is ready to become an adult. They just keep hoping that when I "grow" in their opinion that I'll start acting like them. Fact is I'm very different from them and I'm not going to turn out the way they expect (other than being good person of course).
Since they too somewhat rebelled from their parents and have lived 20+ years in the US I believe that they are more lenient than most parents in their culture. But their need of money during their starting years here seem to have internally taught them that if you are wealthy, you are happy. Having money is important and I'll work hard for it, but it's not the answer to my happiness.
If I disagree with my mom and bro about something in life they will answer with something completely biased and ridiculous that I just can't respond with anything other than just saying I don't agree.
"You'll see, you'll see how hard life is. And you'll suck so much at it." The exact words my mom said when I said I didn't want to be a nurse. "Your bf is so gross. I don't want to hear about him." When I try to explain his good qualities. "When did you get so freakin' stupid?" When I got my first C grade. "I'm always right and you don't know shit." She says this a lot of times. My dad tells her to be quiet when she says stuff like that, but he says it gently, "Honey, that's not true." No, that does not stop her. My bro says I'm better off just listening to her because she's my mom and I don't know better until I'm 20 something.
I'm putting my foot down when it comes to ridiculous things like that. I listen when my family says things that actually make sense, but I will walk away when things like that are being said. If I'm punished for walking away then I will walk out the door and make my point that I won't be put in the corner for things like that. I'm not running, I'll come back when their heads are cooled. But I'm smart enough to recognize when I'm wrong and when it's them who is wrong.
That's just it. I do feel like I behave in a mature way. I've never done anything bad, do chores, almost always respect everyone, and have just been a good kid overall. The only reason I don't have a job is because they won't allow it because they think I'll get attacked/kidnapped/ect. I don't live in a horrible neighborhood where that is likely to happen during the day. Police cars are almost everywhere and I always have my cell phone on me. They don't allow my bf over at my house because my brother despises him (for being me bf) and my parents believe he's just a phase. But come on, 8 months! It's about time he's allowed here. And about the blood thing, it only pissed me off because the only reason I wasn't allowed to do that was because they don't believe in giving stuff to the ones who need it.
Due to culture reasons they have an unreasonable sense of protection. Though they won't admit it I know that they are trying to protect me from every little thing. They won't let me be exposed and they won't allow me to learn from anything other than school. I'm really boxed it when it comes to life and I just want to be exposed more.
It's not that I'm not grateful for them. It's just that I realize I'm getting older and they just don't see that no matter what I do. The other week my dad just asked if I wanted to go to Chuckie Cheese. :P I haven't been there in over 10 years.
Thanks for the college advice. It's something I'll most likely have to deal with myself.
17... though still not an adult, not at all far from being an adult. It's only recently hit me that as much as I am happy and lucky enough to have such a kind, and caring family, they are treating me too young for my age and look down on me.
I complain enough about my family on this topic in this board, but bear with me please. XD
Dad: Couldn't have asked for a better one. Sweet and kind, he the most flexible when it comes to my problems. But has a tendency to be pushed around by others (mom). Still sees me as 7 instead of 17. "Don't talk to strangers", "Look both ways when you cross the streets"... come on!!!
Mom: Get along great most of the time. Love her, but is the one I have screaming fights with. She is constantly nagging, putting me down, and telling me something in someway is wrong.
Bro: Love ya! Will never tell you in your face, but yeah, you know. Waaay overprotective. Thinks that me socializing, wanting to go outside, having a bf is a bunch of bull (mom thinks along these lines too). Has a great influence on my mother's judgements at times.
DO NOT TELL ME THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO TALK IT OUT. Trust me, I have tried to be open, but they just disregard everything with the way they think no matter how I try to approach it. I will continue to be open, but it just isn't working the way I would like it to be. Oh, and don't tell me to show them this because it ends up being the same as trying to talk.
Counselor has suggested to make a list of things I need to do in order to accomplish my goals. She is the only one I'm completely open with about everything. Like a second family member. :)
1. Stop accepting $$$ from parents unless it's a necessity/b-day/holiday.
- Focus on other pressing matters (school, study, pets, ect.)
- BF enjoys spoiling you lol
- It's their control method on you!!! As tempting as the $$$ and gifts are, IGNORE!!!
- ... Just do your work lol
3. Stick up for yourself
- Counselor said this, BF said this, friends have said this!!!
- You're not rebellious or bad, you're just growing up.
- Don't let anyone get away with saying something unnecessarily mean about you and your life
- If something is important to YOU don't let anyone hold you back
4. Talk less about your life unless required/asked
- You love momma, but momma is always going to find something "wrong" with it.
- Cultural differences suck in this case. (FYI my family's from the Philippines)
- ONLY when school is more stable
- Handle $$$ well
- It's YOUR $$$, not theirs... EVER
6. Your purpose is not to please others
- YOUR LIFE
- Ignore the stupid put-downs and insults. Let it roll off your shoulders because it's a load of crap.
7. You're different
- $$$ Isn't everything (ignore what bro and mom disagreeing on that)
- Don't be a shut-in no matter how rich he might become (bro)
- Do what you want to you need to. If you WANT it bad enough, it's a NEED.
Examples of their controlling behavior:
- Not allowing me to have dinner with my BF's parents at their place. They live 10 min. away, I've been in the relationship for 8 months, we're never going to be alone in an enclosed room, and both I and my BF have invited my parents. They complain about not knowing him enough all the way saying they don't like meeting new people.
- "You're just a kid." I know. I wouldn't be living with you guys if I didn't know that. I still need you. But there is a bottom line between being 7 and being 17. At 18, just one year, if I feel this continues I will move out and you can't do anything about it. You're a great family, but you're not letting me grow enough. Adios!
- Not allowing me to donate blood. When I calmly ask for reason they say it's to protect me. I'm not sickly, tons of people do it, and it's a school run event. Their response? "Being generous is stupid."
- Threat to not pay for collage if I don't take up nursing. I have decided to take up being a zoologist and now have no clue if I must take up a job, or see if they will go though with the threat.
And the controlling issues go on...
That is my list so far. I know many members in this board are familiar with growing up so, I would LOVE to hear what you might add/disagree with on this list.
I'm not trying to grow up too fast. I just think it's about time to grow-up, ya know?
Good point nora. Yeah, I'm starting to thing it goes along those lines. She got pregnant a little early so I suppose it would make more sense to act like that.
*sigh* Oh well. It will pass I hope. Though more than a year from now it won't be long until I'm moving out. I'll just enjoy the good moments and deal with the bad for now. lol
I just want to know what are some of the typical signs of a parent going through their mid-life crisis.
My dad is fine. It's my mom who I suspect is going through it. Though she's always had an attitude I realized it has been rising for the past couple of years. Without make-up and considering her body type she is consistently mistaken for being in her 20's or 30's, which puts me off on the mid-life crisis theory. Nothing big happened recently either. Money is tight but it's not enough to kill us if we bought something expensive on impulse. She's her usual self most of the time, but a couple instances have stood out.
Btw, she's 52.
- If you saw my topic waaay back I explained that she put down my want to start beading jewelry and said it was stupid.
- "Look at me. I'm the cutest", "You wish you looked like me", "Don't you wish you had my clothes", "You're just jealous of the Orange County girls"... ect. These random statements are said daily and I just roll my eyes. I'm not offended. It's just too stupid to be offended by.
- 'I KNOW EVERYTHING AND YOU KNOW NOTHING' attitude. My dad and bro feel this too.
- She constantly puts down my boyfriend when he's not around. He is a great guy who loves conversation, affection, and spoiling me to no end. Also very intelligent and doesn't look like a bad guy. What I'm not able to forget is when I was explaining about these good points she said, "There is no one like your dad." What?
And these are only the things that are directed towards me. I'm not even going to get into what happens with my bro and dad. Basically, nagging and put downs for all of us. It's normal for her to be like this but recently it's just gotten ridiculous.
So, can anyone say whether this is a mid-life crisis or not?
Some stores start having their sales later in the day during Thanksgiving if the store is open. :)
Our economy would eventually die a horrible and painful death if it was for more than one day. Taxes would kill us. XD
I feel old know that stuff now. lol
Two years ago I couldn't go black friday shopping. I woke up 4, got myself ready, and was about to head out when my parents say that they didn't feel like driving me. Didn't have a driver's license at 15... they were also on vacation so they didn't have work the day before nor that day... I was spending my own money...
That was a heartbreaking day.
They did have good deals. It's just that I was buying all the starter stuff and the starter things ended up hitting $80 in total. Tools, wire, glues, ect. I dunno. Maybe mine nearby is just a bit more expensive than others.
I fight like the Spartan army on Black Friday. I am so tempted to yell in Michaels, "THIS IS SPARTAAA!!!"