06 Dec 00:20
I am a long time suffer of depression. Right now because of the winter my depression is acting up big time. I am sleepy and irrtable. Sigh, I really wish I didn't have this. I have anxeity too.

06 Dec 00:22
I should add that I can't really afford theraphy and there is a 6 month waiting list to see a theraphist. But like everyone else, I just need to talk about it

06 Dec 00:29
Ooooh depression. I went through that for about two years. It still kicks up every now and again but i do my best to fight it. It's interesting that my depression would register in my stomach.... I would get really queasy and sad - it's really strange when it happens.... hmmm. I also suffered from social anxiety BIG time! Thankfully, when I got my first job two years ago, it helped me overcome it, but it was really bad. I still have it some, but.... i think it's manageable now.

But you are sleepy and cranky? hmmm. Does it always register that way? Depression is a strange thing... but i'm willing to help ya vent or just talk about it! :D

06 Dec 00:49
Oh I´m so sad to hear that Michelle :(
I have sometimes Anxeity and depressions too..
Sometimes I woke up in te morning because I had an anxiety..A few month ago they found out that I only had this anxiety every now and then because I have Asthma and just didn´t realized that I had a Attack of asthma while I´m sleeping everytime I had those anxiety.
Now after I got my medicine I can do something.*yay*
I was shocked to hear that I have Astma for many years.

People often get depressed in winter because of the less sun maybe you can make something like a Colour therapy .

06 Dec 00:54
I've heard of that! That most people get depressed in the winter time... but yes. Color therapy is brilliant! I didn't event think of that - if you haven't already, you should definately look into that michelle! :)

06 Dec 01:47
aw dont be depressed!! you dont need to hire a therapist you can talk to us!! when i get really sad i usually take a bubble bath or something and read....or watch movies.

find something that makes you feel great about yourself! its relly simple but it helps for me, i read or write, my mom exercises, and my brother hangs out with friends

06 Dec 18:43
I know what it's like Michelle, you just have to keep pushing yourself to make it through and you will, we craft, read, listen to music for the distraction...I've not been so bad now I have work and stuff. And yeh you can talk to us, on here and now on msn :)

06 Dec 20:16
Michelle G.: I go thru the same thing every year in Winter and though I am no doctor I was told by my accupuncturist to make sure to take Vitamin D and also B12.It is supposed to work really well for energy.Also I found what works is shopping.Even if you don't have money to shop,window shopping or browsing ca be really therapeautic as well as seeing a good acupuncturist as they can restore the Qi in your body.Make sure in Winter that you leave the blinds open as much as you can to let natural light in,get outdoors when you can, and if you can afford to buy a BOOKLIGHT. you should try it cause I heard they work really well with people who suffer from Sad and depression.Although I haven't been able to afford one yet.Good Luck and don't be sad.

06 Dec 21:35
Don't worry, Michelle. We're all here if you need to talk. I've had depression for years, and medication helps, but I haven't been able to afford therapy. Depression goes in cycles, and winter is usually worst for me, too. Being outside helps when it's sunny, but if it's overcast and really cold it's just more, well, depressing, at least for me. Keeping distracted helps me a lot, but it's important not to just hide what you're feeling.

07 Dec 15:10
ok guys, I went to the pyse ward in the hospital and talked to them. They got me a theraphist and I start this week. Its really hard living with this, but after an increase in meds I am not thinking about killing myself as much.

Also I get bouts of depression all year. Usually once every two months.

08 Dec 23:36
I get bouts once a month...hormones, that makes me ask is it just hormones or does it just make itself more known because of hormones!? but at the moment I don't notice it because of work, I don't think it's actual depression with me, just down, alot down but not depressed.

I'm glad you can talk to a professional, sometimes it just helps saying it outloud.

08 Dec 23:54
aww Michelle! Is it really that bad? [the depression I mean], that you really thought of killing yourself?

I'm so sorry. I have mild depression. The way I think is different, or so says my ex therapist. My logical mind and my emotional mind are tied together, while apparently most other people's arn't. So I can think my way out of my depression bouts. I'm lucky.

What I DO [and this might not work for ANYONE, because my therapist and my school guidance counselor, well they both say that my mind is just... different I guess. I don't know] is... when I think of killing myself [which has only been a few times] or when I'm down on myself for something... I just think it threw.

"I want to kill myself
Why?
Life sucks.
How does it suck?
Well, I have this problem and this one and this one and this one
So? Doesn't everyone have problems?
Yea, but mine are different
Everyone's are different. What about all the good things you have in your life that other's dont?
Yea, but ...
But what?
I don't know.... I don't have a lot of good.
You've got a loving family and wonderful friends. You've got shelter, food, necessities, VERY CUTE CLOTHES. You are intelligent, have a soft warm bed to sleep in, a life, music, art, creativity. Your life is fun and interesting. You've got long beautiful hair, a proportionate body, have had many boyfriends and are sure to have more. You have WONDERFUL memories of concerts and doing creative things with your friends. You've got a BADASS lunch box [its in the shape of a six pack of coca cola. Even with the little tab things on the top :D]. You get to go to places like New Orleans and Big Bear. YOU ARE GOING TO EGYPT. You've got a small but comfertable house, go to the best school in all of nevada, a lot of people like you. Some people want to be you. YOU USED TO HAVE A FAN CLUB FOR GOD'S SAKE! "

ANYWAY, lol, I go on and on and on with everything good in my life. It gets hard to name things sometimes, so I go with small things like the lunchbox or a cool crayon necklace.

sometimes I fight with myself

" My father was a jerk and took all his problems out on me
You weren't raped and abused like half your friends
No, I'm not comparing myself to them. They have it worse, but I still have it bad
Or mabe you have it better, and they have it good
don't start with the glass have full shit, thats lame
are you saying it isn't true?
I'm saying it doesn't apply. The one person in my life I trusted betrayed that I made me want to kill myself
Well there are many things wrong with that sentance. First off, two people in your life you are supposed to trust, and one of them, you still do. secondly, arn't you letting him win if you constantly feel like this?
I don't have it bad I guess, but I could easily have it better!
so could everyone else. Why are you so special that you should have an easier life when people with more difficult situations don't? Is that fair?"

btw, that is my emotional mind, and my logical mind.

And I just...

Whenever I get finished with these little spats with myself, I always feel better.



idk... its just... its easier to realize how bad your life is tha it is to realize how good your life is. We really take advantage of all we have [and I'm not singling anyone out, its just human nature. When we are used to something, we arn't usually aware of how awesome it is until its taken away].


Well, it usually helps me some.

09 Dec 03:11
wow Dis. That is a good way to think

11 Dec 22:16
I hate depression

11 Dec 22:44
My doc wants me to see a therapist instead of just taking the meds. I dont really want to though.
I guess I shouldnt just accept being unhappy, but my new meds work really well.

I was on prozac for a month or two and it helped the depression by making me emotionless.
I'm on Paxil now, and I get sad sometimes like a normal person, it just doesnt last for weeks. It lasts like an hour.

11 Dec 23:06
waaaahhh Dis... To me it´s just the same...
I´m exactly like that.
I always thought that´s a little bit the way alice in wonderland talk.
She always berate her self when she is lack of self-confidence...

I always loved the way she handled all her Problems in a little confuse way.. I´m really just like that...

^^
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?" ~Alice in wonderland,Lewis Carroll

11 Dec 23:15
I take citleopram

11 Dec 23:18
I think I just don't like the numb feeling. I want to feel happy, but not sad all the time. Depression just kinda eats at your life, tears up relationships. Sigh.

I really want to be happy.

I am seeing a teraphist, I hope it will be happy

11 Dec 23:21
If your meds dont work you should try another kind.
The problem with anti depressants is that theyre kinda hit or miss. The doctor doesnt know which is going to work for you really. Its kinda a guessing game.

28 Dec 02:59
How's it going with the therapist, Michelle?

Depression sucks ass and playing the shuffling meds game kinda stinks, too! At least there are meds to help, even if only for a little while.

My dad killed himself cuz of depression and I vowed I would never do such a selfish thing to my family!


Love,

28 Dec 03:06
I am on a waiting list to see one, hopefully in Feb. Its really hard, because I need to find a job-then keep it. I find my relationship is hard to deal with sometimes, because he doesn't seem to realize that even though I don't want to go to the crowded pub-it doesn't mean I want to be alone.

I get very depressed when I am by my self, well now I know I am bi polar, its just hard. I want to be stable, to be happy.

30 Dec 23:05
I used to be seriously depressed about a year ago. Luckily we have free health care here, so I got to see a therapist... but I'm afraid that the depression will come back, and sometimes I do have some really anxious periods. 'pecially when it gets darker on the winter.

Also relationships and such make me depressed, 'cause I have only one friend whom I can see almost every day, and it's kinda stressing when I'm the kind of person who really needs people around. :(

Dis's method sounds so weird, I like it. :>
I always try to get over my depressed moments by listening to music I like and singing along. I love to sing. :)

30 Dec 23:08
also I think some of it is in our minds, when I've had a bad day and I'm in a bad mood and tired I'm like 'Well that's just typical, just my life, just my luck I might as well die!' (I'm not depressed now, but it's hard to be happy)

There was this programme I watched about therapy being better then drugs and this doctor told this depressed woman to write down all her acheivments, but she couldn't think of anything. Then when she saw him again it turned out she could speak about 5 languages and rescued a load of people in the holocaust! I may have said this somewhere, but it helps to focus on the good.

16 Jan 23:54
I really hate this depression. My life feels so hard right now. I need to find a job and I feel like its harming my relationship

17 Jan 10:16
It's never easy is it? I've been on pills to help me for the last 6 months, this is the first time I've given into it. I normally can dig myself out of whatever dark little sad hole that I end up in.

I totally lashed out at my boyfriend and realized hurting others didn't make me feel any better. It takes a few weeks sometimes a few months before the meds will bring your head back round.

Thing about life though... you got to remember.. even when you're not depressed, it never feels like it gets any easier.. it just lays off for a bit sometimes.

Walking and exercise REALLY help. My mother is going to be on medication for the rest of her life for depression, she's been checked into the hospital and all that jazz. She took up marathon running a few years back, when shes not running regularly you can tell.

hard bit is off course, when you're depressed, it's even harder to get off your ass and head out for a run or the gym.

Have you looked into alternative methods like St.Johns Wort?