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  1. Posted over 1 year ago

    Entertainment » Literature

    Feedback needed. :)

    Started over 1 year ago · Last post about 1 year ago · Displaying all 5 Post
    Okay, so I'm an Oscar Wilde geek, and reading his pieces has gotten me very interested in writing poetry in prose. It's pretty much just poetry written in the form of a paragraph, sometimes rhyming, sometimes not, sometimes metrical, sometimes not. This is the first one I have written and feel free to be honest. I know it's a bit depressing.

    When I was a child, my father lost me in a baseball field. I walked around and around, tears building an ocean, until I was discovered again. As I grew, reality became distant again. In recent times, I’ve come to feel as though I was never found, and my soul is perpetually circling, like a dead insect around a drain, as the world is sucked away from me. Someday only I will remain, a broken degenerate forever stranded at the bottom of this sink.
  2. Posted over 1 year ago
    I love writing and even majored in Creative Writing in college so allow me to extend you a greeting from the welcome wagon (your future contains a lot of drinking and sad lonely nights!) lol just kidding- but seriously.

    I get the feeling that the story of being a lost child in a baseball field is a true one which if so is a nice balance to your simile of being a dead insect being flushed down the drain. The two different references of being lost do seem slightly disjointed. Keep working on it and it will come together. :D
  3. Posted over 1 year ago
    Finding expression frees the soul.
    Keep working at finding you way.
  4. Posted about 1 year ago
    Thank you to both of you, I still am tweaking it a bit. And I've been looking at more examples and things and hopefully I'll get more of a hang of it soon!
  5. Posted about 1 year ago
    Thank you to both of you, I still am tweaking it a bit. And I've been looking at more examples and things and hopefully I'll get more of a hang of it soon!

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