I need to break up with my boyfriend, but I'm not sure how to do it.. Here's a little bit of info on it to try to explain everything:
We've been together for 2 and a half years, so it's pretty much expected that we're going to stay together forever. We even had plans to move in together at the end of the year but that isn't going to happen because he's VERY lazy, unemployed, broke and doesn't try to do anything about his situation. I cannot be with a guy that is like a child and can't do anything for himself. I have ambitions and am working towards my goal, but he's just kind of in the way and holding me back because of his negative attitude towards everything.
I've tried motivating him to get a job, but there's always an excuse ("I can't waiter because I hate it" or "Retail sucks and they don't pay enough"). He's 21 and has never had a job so I don't see how he can be so full of sh*t about what type of job he gets. If it was me, I'd literally do anything, just so that I can start earning money so I can look after myself. I have two jobs and I don't exactly like working myself to death for the amount I earn, but I do it because it's necessary so I can have money to move out and look after myself when I go to uni next year.
Because he's lazy, he also doesn't put in effort for our relationship. He says he loves me and makes me feel special through words, but he never physically does anything to make me feel loved, like giving me flowers or writing a cute note or taking me out for dinner, or even just inviting me to his house. I'm a hopeless romantic and I NEED someone to show me they love me through their actions, not just their words. I complain to him about it almost every week and he always apologises and says he will try but he doesn't. This has practically killed my love for him.
He is also extremely emotionally unstable, so I hate doing anything that could trigger his suicidal tendencies. It basically makes me feel trapped with him because whenever I'm in a bad mood or don't speak to him, he will literally cry and beat himself up for it because he feels he needs to punish himself for being a bad boyfriend, even when it's not his fault. He pretty much manipulates me like that, unintentionally, to stay with him and do everything he wants. I can't do it anymore because it hurts me so much and I can never be happy when I'm constantly put on guilt trips.
I am no longer attracted to him in any kind of romantic way. He's an awesome friend and we do almost everything together, but that's all I think of him. I cannot stand kissing him anymore because I don't love him anymore. He gets emotional way too quickly and I know it's going to kill him if I break up with him, but I know I have to, for my sake. I don't want to erase him from my life, but I do not want to be involved in a relationship with him. I literally want him to be my friend. He's always been a good friend to me in my times of need and I can't imagine life without him, but I need to get out of the relationship. I think it'll be better if we don't speak to each other at all for a few months, but I don't know how to actually tell him it's over. I want to make it as painless as possible.. Help..