So, after a couple weeks of not having too much computer time while my fiance and I were moving things from the apartment to his mom's house, we hear the word that his sister who lives in NM is coming to visit.

I was kindof excited to meet her and her kids because I hadn't before.

Then after the first day, I just couldn't stand them any more than my fiance and his other sisters could.

This particular sister is raising her kids on "Organic" food that she pays way too much for, and she acts like her kids are perfect. The 12-year old I can deal with because he's just got that "I'm 12 and I know everything ever" attitude. But the 4-year-old is another story. He torments the dogs (an affectionate Shiba Inu and a protective Pembroke Welsh Corgi) to the point that they start to bark at him. He runs up at them and screams at them, then when they bark at him, he runs to his mom and starts crying.

Today, she walked in with her youngest son, and my dog went over to greet them with a "Play with me, because you're people and I'm a dog" bark that she usually greets my fiance's nephews with (and they always play with her afterward) and the four-year-old starts crying and screaming at the dog, making her bark because she's confused. So, my fiance's "ORGANIC" sister starts yelling at us about the dog. "IS THAT *YOUR* DOG? WHY DON'T YOU DO ANYTHING TO QUIET *YOUR* DOG?" The shouting really upset my fiance's niece who's a year younger than I am and she started to cry because she just hates strife. So my fiance's nephew that lives at the house with us starts shouting at the noisy sister telling her to get over it and shut the hell up.

She constantly demonizes the dogs because they act like... well, dogs! Meanwhile, her little son is annoying the everliving hell out of them continuously.

Gah... I can't wait till she can go back to her organic hippie house in New Mexico.

I feel your pain. Soon, they'll be gone and hopefully for a while!

At least she will be gone home soon. Your dogs sound lovely, my dog Cherry is the same with people she's an affectionate (and hyper) Boxer staffy cross who just wants attention, sometimes she doesnt understand that shes quite a big dog.

My Mum behaves the same towards my dog as your fiancee's sister and it does upset me but shes not a dog person and doesnt understand dog behaviour. All I can say is try and educate her about dog behaviour because she doesnt understand them like you do.

xx

She left this morning, a day earlier than planned... My fiance high fived everyone, lol.

My dog has two kinds of barks: a bark that's all smiley and excited, and a bark that's more like a guard dog bark. She'd only bark like a guard dog when the annoying 4-year-old would run up to her and wave his arms around.

Anyway, I think that through my fiance, his nephew, and his cool sisters that the harpy sister knows not to come back... which is good because I hate it when stupid people demonize innocent animals that only want to play or be petted.

I hate it when stupid people demonize kids for not having their parents teach them how to interact with animals properly.
I also think it's the dog owners responsibility to either keep their dogs in a seperate area while having "annoying 4-year-olds" over or maybe not inviting the "annoying 4- year old" and their "organic hippie" family over anymore.

This seems like a way more productive solution than coming on a crafting forum to complain about it and put people down in the process. Yes, I try to eat organic when I can and have a 4 year old of my own so I was a little offended, just had to stand up for the other side. please don't take offence.

How could she know what would happen? If she's expected to put the dogs away when the sister visits with kids is the sister expected to put the kids away if she were visited by dogs?

so true lacey, so true. my cousin is the exact same with my dogs. (i have two very large golden retrievers) they r soo sweet but they dont know how big they are. they nock her down and her parents freak at me for "my dogs evil behavior. *puff*
btw my cousin is 12.lol

lacey, there is a big difference between a human child, and a pet. people come a little more high up on my list of importance than any pet would.
I guess I will never understand dog owners.

this hits home with me because my aunt has this dog. She expects us to come to all these family functions and her dog will jump up on everyone who comes in the door. knocking down my 4 year old and me with a new born baby in my arms!!!(that was alomst a tragic accident) I think its the dog owners job to make sure that the dog and the people who it comes in contact with get along. if they don't, the dog should be removed from the situation. Or if you prefer the company of a dog over people then remove the people. im just saying, not everyone likes your stinky slobbery dog jumping all over them. and not all 4 year olds treat animals badly. mine will just stand there and the dog knocks her over and scratches her in his excitment. needless to say we will not be going back unless the mut is contained.

I bet the animals are relaxed and feel as relieved as you,now that she and her kids are finally back at their "organic hippy house".-:)

Everyone in this house is over the age of 20. The "organic hippy princess" sister expects that everyone is just going to bow down to her whims.

When she has a kid that doesn't know how to treat a dog right, it becomes her problem, not mine. The dogs we have are generally great around other people, and my Corgi has even spent time around babies before without a problem.

Animals are more important to me than bratty people and their misbehaving kids. Dogs will be dogs, and kids will be a PIA. Both the dogs are relatively short, the Corgi's only 11 inches at the shoulder and the Shiba is maybe 16, so a kid is easily taller than they are.

We can't just childproof a house for a snot-nosed brat that cries when it makes the dog bark by slapping it or scaring it when it's trying to sleep.

@ Kitty, what steps have you taken to learn about dogs and how to stop their behaviour? Have you taught your children how to deal with animals that could be playful or attacking? It's fun to complain without doing anything about the problem.

Also, as to children being more important than dogs, isn't that up to everyone to decide for themselves? I've never thought of love being wrong. Some people that have children go to extremes, positive and negative, and some some people with animals do the same. Which side do you lean to?

Can you say that your children are perfectly behaved at all times no matter what? I can't say that about any children I know. Neither can I say that about a dog. Sometimes, I just don't understand parents...

Hi Lacey,
to answer your first question..
None. Why would I? I don't own a dog. That is the dog owners job not mine.
To answer your next question...
Yes. When my child was a little younger she would run up to every dog she saw at the park. I made her understand that not all dogs are nice and to ask me, then the dog owner before she approaches it. So, I did fix my problem and did not complain about it. not sure how those two questions had much to do with the debate on hand...

It is a persons right to choose to live their life any way they wish to and I have no problems with people loving their dogs.. I fully support that. But for the people who do value their dogs life over a person, well I wish they would have the kindness to let the rest of us know so we can keep a distance.

My children are no diffrent than any others, they can be brats sometimes, not listen, talk back..etc etc but it is my job as a parent to correct that. And I work very hard at it. Because I don't want people like Monika (don't take it personal :)
to dread being near me and my family. On the flip side, I kinda expect the same for the dog owners (my aunt as an example) She should teach her dog to not be such a maniac, insted of sitting back laughing and saying "oh isnt that cute"

Monika,
I don't doubt that your visitors were probably very annoying. but why not ask them to leave? I know I would hate to be somewhere knowing I wasent wanted. I appoligize if my reply lastnight was a little harsh, I was in not such a good mood when I wrote it so I hope I didn't rub you the wrong way. I just wanted to highlight that there are two sides to every story.

Oh, you did... but, whatever.

This same sister came up two years ago (before I moved out here) and her son was only two at the time. The entire time, he ran around, getting himself hurt, and kept annoying the Shiba Inu by pulling his tail and smacking him. The mother expects everyone else to watch her toddler while she starts picking fights with them. She was arguing with her mom when her 4-year-old jumped off a couch and almost face-planted into the floor. I caught him right before he could hurt himself, and all I got was an, "Oh, he never faceplants into anything." How would she know if she never watches him for herself?

She starts fights with her other three sisters, her brother (my fiance), and my fiance's nephew. She starts them over petty things, like other people not paying attention to her oh-so-perfect children. Each of my fiance's sisters have kids of their own that are all 15 or older now, but that doesn't mean they're going to come over while the annoying sister is here just to watch her kids so she can be a harpy.

Every time she's been up here, from what my fiance and his other sisters tell me, she starts fights, tries to ask for money (she always asked their dad to pay her overdraft fees when she ran out of money in the bank, and usually they were pretty steep fees) and then gets mad at people for not giving her the money and attention she wants... she always uses that as an excuse of leaving early.

She's a harpy in every sense of the word. She brought nothing but negativity and shouting into a house full of really calm, quiet adults, then she just picked up and left after making everyone very angry.

The kids from the other sisters are all really pleasant, and they were even really great kids when I first met them 3 years ago when most of them were only 12 or 13. They're all really respectful. But the sister from NM's 12-year-old just never has anything nice to stay to or about anyone...

Wow,

Fierce argument from both sides of the fence here, the real issue I think is the lack of attention and due care from the Sister In Law and not necessarily anything to do with Dogs or Kids....

However, if the argument was to be centred around Dogs and Kids then practicality and sense should win out here.

I am a dog owner, he is a cute thing and has bundles of patience, BUT!!!! NEVER would I trust him around children. You should never trust ANY dog around children. Childen will see a dog showing his teeth and think he is smiling. When I have visitors with children, my dog is put out of the childrens way. The visitors are then told that the dog is out of the way, and to keep an eye on their children and restrain them and keep them away from my dog. If the children antagonise or irritate the dog and he snaps at them, after I have deliberately put him out of the way, then it is the parents fault and nothing to do with my dog.

Because my dog looks so cute, I do suffer with children running up to him and trying to grab him because he's a cute 'DOGGY'. I will always tell the child 'NO' do not touch the dog. And if the parents complain, I now ask them if they would be ok about me running up to them to stroke their child?
It is a two way thing this, and both parties should take into account their own actions. My dog is my dog, I love him dearly, but he is a dog. I am aware of his mood changes and the fact that he is an animal and thinks like an animal. We give animals human traits because we do not know how to understand their animal traits. My dog growls at my youngest nephew, because the nephew is a 'puppy' in the pack. The nephew likes to chase the dogs in the family, and the dogs will chastise him in the same way they would a puppy. The dogs are taken out of the equation because other than growling or snapping, they cannot say that they do not like being chased and grabbed. However, threaten any of the children in my family and the family dogs will defend them with their lives.

Mutual respect is something that a lot of people are lacking in these days. It doesn't matter if you love animals, hate animals, have kids, don't have kids, etc etc.... If your friends children/family children do not like the dogs, put the dogs out of the way. After all, they are dogs, you are the ALPHA in the house, and you tell them what to do. You tell them to go guard outside, because that's what you want. The dogs will not care if they have been banished for a little while, they are dogs. On the other hand parents, put a leash on your children and reign them in. After all, if your child continues to scream at and smack the dog, who will be to blame when the dog reacts?? Will it be your fault, the childs fault or the dogs fault.

I shall get off my soapbox now and go do some work.

Sorry for the rambling reply.

K/x

Awesome post kimmi. I agree. Thank you for being a responsible dog owner :)

When I've seen both dogs act just fine around other small children, it's hard to not get mad at a kid that runs up to them and strikes them. That is the kid's/parent's fault for not knowing how to be nice to a dog. I've never seen anyone else, child or adult, yell at or slap either of the dogs out of the blue. When someone can't respect two dogs that like to mind their own business, that's their problem, not the dogs'.

We have a kennel that the dogs run around in, but when it's 95 degrees outside, we keep them indoors so they don't get overheated. It's essentially animal abuse to leave the dogs out in the kennel in the direct sunlight when it's so hot like that, even if they do have water. I'm not going to subject a dog to too-high temperatures just to please someone who hasn't even housetrained her own kids.

Not to mention that there's a surgeon renting the apartment that my fiance's mom built into the basement, and as soon as he got home, the 4-year-old started stomping and jumping on the floor. We told his mom to make him stop because the doctor works 10 hour days, and her response was, "Oh, he'll be just fine." Uh, no? He puts in long days at the hospital and comes home tired. The man can't enjoy a nap with a little kid bouncing around nonstop.

So it's not even solely a matter of disrespect for dogs and dog owners, but it's a matter of disrespect for the tenant in the basement. Usually we keep the dogs preoccupied when the doc gets home so he can take a nap without hearing dogs bark. It was really hard to keep anyone quiet with a kid slapping dogs and my fiance's sister yelling at everyone.

I'll take the dogs out if the weather's not going to freeze them or give them a heat stroke, I have no problem with walking them or keeping them occupied when other guests are over... but I'm not going to risk harming my dogs outside just so some harpy's demands can be satisfied.

I have never felt so much loathing towards someone and her kids before.

Well, they sound horrible. So why didn't you just ask them to stay somewhere else?
If I were in your situation I would have said something like "If you and your family can't respect me and my animals in MY house, maybe it's best if you leave"

They were staying the nights at a hotel, but spent pretty much the entire day at the house.

I'm just glad she and her kids left early... she even had to buy new flight tickets out of town.

Monkia I so thought about you the other day when I was at Tae Kwon Do.... due to my schedule I can only go to family classes which have all ages, there's a boy in there who is five and cries about literally everything {including whenever he thinks he messed up} and everybody just coddles him instead of telling him to grow up {yes he is five but he already graduated from the young children's class}

Monika, I know what u mean. I am a dog lover and my four year old loves it when dogs playfully knock him over. and Kitty I also get your pint of the story too. I always put my son before animals. But.... shouldnt Monika be able to gripe about her fiances sister without being made to feel badly about it? I mean isnt that what this board is for?

Ya absolutly, I admit I kinda went off on one with the first post (was having a bad day that day)and I appoligized for that.
I was not intending to start drama, I guess just venting myself :P

I do get annoyed a little with dog owners tho..some of them are a breed all of their own LOL

oh well in that case I guess u should get to vent too, huh? :)

Monika, I am gearing up to get ready for this scenario in July. I decided that this year if our friends come to visit, I am taking my dog to the kennel to stay for the weekend. She is safer there than in the same house with our friends child! This kid must be 12 years old by now and can do no wrong. His mom told me that he is great with animals. I only saw him pull her tail, feed her candy and almost let her out of the house "to play outside." We have coyotes here...so that is not a great idea, to let a dog go outside alone.

Reading your post made me cringe. I can tell myself it is only one day...but that could be the one day my dog disappears.

You have the corgi, Is that correct? I love those little guys. When I was in Wales I kept looking for them LOL. I have a beagle mix. Glad your home is sane again.

Yeah, I have a corgi. She's an absolute sweetheart, but she tends to get excited easily with people because pretty much everyone comes up to her and pets her or scratches her behind the ears. I love her a ton, she's a character.

And I hear ya. My dog only ever ran away once, and it was only to sniff around the farm. She came back the next day covered in burrs from thistles and other things, haha. I guess I'm lucky there.

The Shiba Inu though has run off in the past, and the 4-year-old and the 12-year-old and their mom kept leaving doors open with the Shiba in the house. They got corrected no less than 8 times in two hours by my fiance and his nephew to keep the doors closed.

I'm glad the house is sane again, too. Now all I have to deal with is my fiance's other nephews, but luckily the worst thing they do is eat my food and drink my pop. lol

I can totally commiserate. I hate when parents don't teach anything about strength, confidence, independence, or responsibility. When I was 5 years old I was folding clothes, doing the dishes, helping cook, and if I got scared or hurt, I was educated enough enough to deal with it.

*sigh* This reminds me of an episode of Doc Martin where this couple move to Portwenn and they raise their child with the "dont want to, dont have to" mentality. It's nauseating...